Is this list too extensive?

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And should someone with a list like this be less fussy?

I'm 6'3"... does that make me taller than you?

I had a rather stringent list of must-haves myself. It was destroying my chances of finding someone, so I trimmed some of the criteria.

Tim

Yes, yes it does.

Do you think I should do the same?

Aw, crap.

Last edited by Xenon on 19 May 2007, 7:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You should do whatever you feel comfortable doing.

Tim

This is a list of what your hopes and expectations are from a love partner you dream to have, but you would have to think how is that really really important

What if a girl really likes you and she really wants you and she accepts you for who you really are, but does not conform too all of the list, would you accept her?

I know in practice this might be really hard

You can be as picky as you want, but it helps to consider the probability of meeting a person with all the required characteristics and interests. Let's say a person is what you would consider "reasonably attractive" (1/10). They are politically are politically left wing and activist (1/15). They like Rammstein (1/30). Assuming each variable is independent (which is likely not true but is all you can do without more information), you can multiply each factor to get the total probability of meeting such a person: 1/10 * 1/15 * 1/30 = 2.2 * 10^-4. In the end you'll throw your requirements away and go with the person who actually attracts and interests you when you interact with them.

You gotta ask yourself if you'd honestly refuse to date someone just because they chew gum.

A lot of those things are very minor quirks that people can learn to like or dislike. I think that if you found someone who was into your main interests and wanted to be with you, then that person would not mind not chewing gum around you or feigning interest in ET. Look for someone who is interested in your most important things like history and cats, and the rest will fall into place.

I would agree. You never know what fate, or luck, is going to throw your way (or not).

What's important will also change over time, both because people change, and because people get better ideas of what they want, and don't want.

A few years down the road, you might not worry so much about ET or Rammstein, but be more concerned with things like whether they are high-strung, driven workaholics, or very laid back... or whether they're of roughly the same intelligence as you or not, or whether their libido approximately matches yours.

People learn from their mistakes. At 18, you probably haven't made a lot of mistakes yet.

I agree with this. I could make a huge list of all the characteristics that would make the perfect partner for me, but ultimately all that matters is:

* We care about each other
* We find each other interesting
* We respect each other
* We love being together

Roger,

Only you can say if it’s “too much”; if it’s a complete copy of yourself…, well, who is it that you actually wish to like and love?

Interests mean little to me (though swordfights with sticks or whatever is something I weep for), I partake in interests by myself without too much need to share them with anyone else; the overall life "code" that said person follows means much to me....

If you want a relationship based purely on logic, I don't see how this list would go against it. The likes and dislikes are right there out in the open, so finding the right person is just a matter of sifting through the "list" of people and then hopefully finding someone who meets all the criteria. If no one does, then you can just tweak the criteria, adding or removing them as necessary.

Um....the gum thing is a huge deal for some of us. There is a little known
syndrome that will hopefully come to the forefront soon, and the sufferers
of the 4S (Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome) have an extreme aversion
to gum, chewing. clicking, popping mouth noises, clicking sounds, high pitched
sounds, etc. I have it, and if we could "learn" to like these sounds, most of us
would give our right arm to be able to. I don't mean to offend, I just wanted
people to know this is out there for real. Adults and kids. It is linked to Autism
/Aspergers.

Yep...I got like <40 on an "official" IQ test when a female sitting in front of me was chewing away....