Is it okay to tell my ex I miss her?

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Is it fine to tell my ex that I miss her very much? The deal is that we never had a conversation or saw each other in person for a while. Or will that just have unintended things happening?

I think it would be good to tell her how you feel. Do you want to date her again?

I don't know if I want to date her again. It sounds tempting, but I know last time it didn't work that well in the end. But also, I've been single for almost a year or two years since we were last together. I don't know if I should tell her anything or communicate with her about the relationship.

Go for it. For lack of a shinier train of thought, the truth will set you free so you can be happy where you are.

Rollercoaster? Yes though I only ever got whiplash from a literal rollercoaster once.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

i don't know the circumstances, but if you haven't talked to her in years, coming out of the blue and saying you miss her is going to make her uncomfortable and suspicious. if you want to re-connect with her, depending on the circumstances, it may not really be a bad thing to do so, but you need to temper expectations and just talk to her like she's a friend. don't bring up old feelings.

if my ex messaged me after a year and told me she missed me, i'd immediately assume she's lonely, just got heartbroken and wants to mess with my head for a little bit. and you should sit and ask yourself if that's your goal, because i promise you if it is, this is a bad idea.

You could try to reestablish a friendship and see how that goes.

NO

Well to split the difference, there's nothing wrong with reacquainting of course however you may want to stick to what's new rather than most other parts of life.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I can tell you from experience this is a bad idea.
Even if you both approach this as new and changed people, the habits and feelings of the past tend to doom it from the get go.

And the most likely scenario is this will be seen as you wishing to fill a void with somebody you used to have a connection with because it's convenient and you simply miss the idea of a connection, rather than seeking out a connection you truly want with a new person which is what most other people (if they could) would do. In short - it will be seen as the act of a lonely and desperate person. Don't!

However the way your decisions are perceived doesn't make them the wrong things to do.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Pretty much agree with what the other posters are saying - I noticed that there isn't much senior input here - so I'll add my 2 cents.

Reaching out to her sort of depends on the manner of the last parting and how long it's been and most important - knowing WHY you want to do this. Be clear in your own heart and mind before reaching out or opening up to her. And respect her heart as well - she might have very much moved on...

The wording of your outreach is VERY important - you don't want to come off as stalking, obsessive or anything else that will automatically make her flee and change her email address, move out of town or call the cops!

Saying you 'miss her' automatically sets up an emotional charge to the contact - saying you were looking back and just wanted to know how she was doing, and perhaps re-connecting might be okay - it puts the subject in her control and trust me, when it comes to 'past loves' - a woman always wants to feel she's in balance and has control of her own heart.

Good luck...

^^ agreed.

ask her how she's doing, what she's been up to, if her family is well, or anything like that.

show interest in her life without overtly bearing your own interests. if she is responsive and interested in your life, take it from there. don't drown yourself at her feet before testing the water.