i would never marry anyone no matter what the circumstance.
i can not give up my free way of life where i can do as i please.
i could not stand having another conscious person around me who's happiness depends on my allocation of time to them.
i never really had a sex drive so i do not care about that, but freedom to do as i choose is paradise for me.
i own my house with nothing owing and i have plenty of money, and if i wish to get up at 4pm, then no one will even know let alone care.
if i do not want to comb my hair or have a shave, no one is here to care.
it is not in my core personality to need company and i guess in many ways that is a failing that others may feel sorry for, but to be attached to a social world of who thinks what they think, and who feels left out and all that s**t is not for me.
i read so many things about how people are agonizing over stuff that other people think.
everyone seems to want to style themselves into an "image" and they then want to go and display it and get social accolades from it, but i could not care at all.
i have a friend called tammy who is slightly ret*d (IQ about 70) but never the less i have found a way to communicate to her which is stimulating to both her and me.
she rings me every day about 3 times and reports what is going on in her world, and i can always find a way to make the conversation flourish.
that is deeply ingrained in her heart and i told her to get a boyfriend to satisfy her for sex, and she has one now, but he is apparently as boring as bat s**t (to those that find bat s**t uninteresting). she does not like him.
she wants to either marry me or come and live with me.
sorry about that tam.
no can do. so with that, you are quite within your rights to abandon me, but she can not.
she needs my attention every day many times.
i do love her very much. i am looking for a very large property of about 1,000 acres with 2 dwellings on it, and i told her if i buy one, then she can have the other house and always be within walking distance from me.
i have seen quite a few, but by the time i am ready to make an offer, the bloody things are sold.
anyway, it would take some time to sell my current house to get the funds to buy the other properties lock stock and barrel.
my house is worth more than 3 times the cost of some of these large rural properties with 2 houses on them because it is closer to sydney and is near fire and police and school and train and medical services.
the properties i am looking at are miles away from anything.
what ever. i told tammy that marriage is just a bit of paper, and if 2 people are meant to be together they will stay together always whether they are legally obliged to or not.
she agrees.
so i just got to find a way to secure a rural property with a few dwellings on it, but ...... don't know what else to say.
laying in bed with someone and looking into their eyes and having such intimate relations would sting the s**t out of my soul and i could not handle it.
different strokes for different folks.
i do sometimes envy people that were born with communal love in their souls.