Do people with Asperger's remain virgins for life?

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Do aspies never date, get married, or have sex? I am 21, a virgin, and never dated anyone. I don't ever see myself in a committed relationship or engaging in sexual activity with anyone. Is this typical with people with Asperger's?

Do you not find yourself having interests in these things or do you just not see these opportunities happening for you?

(assuming you're male here)

The biggest mistake you can make is assuming that either your, or the company you keep will remain static. I remember when I was your age, I believe I'd had sex once, and I thought I was a fluke. It took me several years to have it again. Since then, the rate at which I've had sex has increased, but it remains fairly uncommon (although I care alot less than I used to, because I no longer care about the social pressure to have it, at least not as much).

Above all, here's the thing you have to remember: you're never going to be the "bad boy" that most women your age want. Go for the nice, friendly, nerdy guy. Above all, don't be entitled. For now, you'll get friendzoned alot (yes, I said "friendzoned," the stigma attached to that word is ridiculous. I do not think there's anything morally wrong with "friendzoning" someone, and I've done it to at least one girl). But that'll change.

Eventually, tastes mature. As people get older, they care less and less what society thinks of their partner, and they focus more on what they want. When that happens, if you've done your best to mature as a person, you'll suddenly find far more interested members of the opposite sex.

I had sex once. I beleive it was pitty sex. I kinda regret it. happen when I was 25.

the problem with what you said, WatcherAzazel, is that as women age they change yes, but they change to wanting a well off guy to settle down and start a family. I am neither the tough guy nor do I have a decent job or will ever have one. I feel I have more odds of finding a match at a younger age, once I hit 30 its all over for me. though even at 27 and up they are swticting to wanting a provider typ guy to match their income and start a family.

I wonder what chances I have as there doesn't seem to be a middle zone between the two mindsets.

yeah there's a few people on the forums who date and or are married. it happens.
I'd advice taking time to decide future career goals, if you go to college don't rush into the first field you think of, try to consider if you can do the work , is there a future for it. this won't guarantee a gf, but it make it easier and it certainly won't hurt your odds. you can also avoid the debt and useless degree me and others have.

unless you mean you lack the wanting to do those things. then i'd say its not normal or dis normal. aspies are people, so we differ. there are some who don't want sex then others like me with high sex drives. some are happy alone doing their hobbies. I desire love and companionship. I wouldn't say either is abnormal.

I would say aspies are more likely than average to remain virgins are never date, but a very large part of aspies WILL NOT remain virgin nor single forever. I know 3 aspies (male), one of which I hooked up with for a few months and the others through friends. All of them had several long term (1 year or longer) relationships and two of them are in relationships right now. All these guys are 23-27.
You're not doomed.

Might as well, at least I may as well have...since relationships don't go anywhere or last anyways.

But how do they find girlfriends?

I had two but both times they dated me so I just said yes. Perfect situations... However last years I'm not so lucky so I can't find gf.

I should probably also note that I have an edge in that I have no moral objection to polyamory, and tend to hang around alot of polyamorous people. I've currently had 5 sexual partners (only one long-term), and most people I know have usually had dozens.

I don't want to make it sound like hooking up with a polyamorous person is "easy," you still have to prove you're worth hooking up with. But, at minimum, the pressure to be all that person wants for the rest of his or her life isn't there.

Some do, some don't, it depends on your culture and circumstances as well as who you surround yourselves with. Are you around religious Christians who avoid sex like a plague one are you around open minded people and situations that will lead to sex. More importantly, are you around people in general?

It is more common with ASD and probably because the symptoms hit areas important to establishing relationships (ie. socializing). But it is far from being always the case. A good percentage of ASD people do establish relationships, get married etc.

But another common aspect is that ASD people take longer to get there, take longer to learn and absorb the skills needed to have relationships. Among people with ASD there is actually a large increase spike in establishing relationships in middle age, like 35-50-ish I believe.

If you want a relationship very much, study and learn how to do it, practice and keep trying. I can't guarrentee success, but results are usually proportional to the amount of effort put into it. You can actually tailor many things in your life to improve your chances.

It was a very important thing to me and ultimately the most important. If all other things are made secondary to it - which means your prospective partner is the most important thing in your world - you have a good chance to succeed.

A lot of people on this site are married, in relationships, have families, jobs... some are late bloomers, others are early. Maybe (and this is entirely speculative) men with AS lose their virginity a little later then NT men. Let's say, 20-ish for AS men, 17-ish for NT men on average. Of course with plenty of exceptions.

Although there are some AS men who never marry, few if any die a virgin; they get into (short-lived?) relationships every once in a while, and some visit escorts to relieve themselves of their virginity.

As far as women on the spectrum go, I think they are far more likely to lose their virginity a little sooner; 17, 18-ish give or take. Some are a bit naive and gullible and end up being taken advantage of or have otherwise negative experiences with their first time, others don't have this. Some AS women get diagnosed relatively late in life and already have a family by then (often, parents get diagnosed along with one of their kids).

In conclusion, I'd say few AS people remain virgins for life. Only those who are severely impaired, asexual\low libido or plain unlucky, but they are a small and quiet minority. Most of the frustrated virgins are teenaged or early twenties, and fail to realize their whining and self-pitying only makes it less likely for them to find a partner willing to lose their V-card with them.

I didn't have sex will I was about in my 30's (not counting being raped by a gay bastard at gun point).

In young ages (what ever up till their mid 30's) women wants that bad boy, because they feel they are go-getters that knows what they want and then takes it, its more of that ego trip thing their attracted too. past that their more into the men whom have financially established them selves and thus gives the female more of a sense of security. either way they love a man with ambition, even if they have none them selves.

One of the biggest issues an aspi has, is were not social enough to get out and become those things. and the less we socialize the less odds of being with anyone. unlike normals we fail more often so are more reluctant to get out there to keep trying. and when we complain women only see us as being weak and non productive, something thats a turn off for them.

My attitude most of my life was that I had no interest in making my self into something just to be what they wanted, i wanted to be accepted for who i was. as such I shot my self in the foot relationship wise. they may say no they want a man whom knows what he wants, when its more like they like being able to see if your what they want or not and if your a waste of their time.

And lastly, when they get up in age they start becoming to critical of males, always expecting the worst, or for you to impress them more then others in their past have done. so you end up having to live up to unrealistic expectations instead of being accepted for who you are. and thats why most older men want younger women., they do not have all that baggage and are easier to impress.

Here let me solve your problem for you, the age of romance is dead, keep the woman happy enough to gain a child, then when things fall apart fight like hell for that child, expect it. In the USA the divorce rate is nearing 60%, and over 80% is initiated by women, and they will always have an excuse not to try and blame it on men. blow it off, i assure you you will be much happier being a single father then some womans biotch. pretty is only skin deep, the sex is not worth it, and marriage is an arcane concept.

Um, no.

While I haven't really dated much or had a what I would consider a relationship and I've yet to marry anyone.. I have had plenty of sex.

Everyone's different, NT or AS or otherwise.

I'm 22, still one and probably will be for the rest of my life. It's not a goal in mind, but it'd be nice to experience it once.

I'm sure the right girl will come along, you just need to work on improving yourself until she does.

It's not me that needs the improving, it's the acceptance of others in the area I live in. Women on the dating sites here 9 times out of 10 are all fine and dandy up until you say you have AS, when they stop talking to you.