Instead of closing in on yourself...

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...act on the emotions you THINK people have towards you. If you THINK a girl is hitting on you (in whatever way she does it), act on it. Kiss her. Worst thing that can happen is she slaps you. (Oh no!)

From what I can gather on this board, is that Aspergers are a bunch of wuzzies that don't want/are afraid to get hurt. Well, I can tell you right now that THAT is THE way to get hurt.

I wish we could gather once in a while so I can show you how incredibly non-hurtful and hilarious it is to hit on girls and get rejected. (Me hitting on NT girls always looks hilarious, but I've found that many girls kind of like me being crazy or out of the norm)

Kissing random chicks could also get you labeled a pervert or beaten up by those random chick's boyfriends.

Or a knee to the groin...

BUT, yes, I agree to an extent. Get yourself out there a little. At least make an effort to talk to others (yes, even random chicks) and find out what people are interested in. Finding out other people's interests and being willing to discus them/ pursue them can help in the hunt for relationships (friends or otherwise).

You think nobody here has tried? Do the names KenM, Space, or ToadOfSteel ring any bells? Your claim of us being "wuzzies" is not only offensive, but unfounded.

You can do these things and are comfortable with it,
thats very good. But please, please dont try to tell
others how easy it is until you have spent some
time inside their heads. We`re different. And I`ll
let it slide this time, but dont you call me a wuzz again


If i thought a girl was hitting on me and i liked her, i might
try to at least talk with her. But sometimes the "getting hit
on" rules are too crazy and makes no sense, can be hard to
adjust to that.

""I wish we could gather once in a while so I can show you how
incredibly non-hurtful and hilarious it is to hit on girls and get rejected""

If you can sucsessfully teach that to people, i`ll make you into a
very, very rich man within a year

Last edited by ImTheGuyThatDidThat on 16 Mar 2009, 9:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Maybe putting my hand in the fire WON'T hurt next time! But I'll never know, 'cause I'm just a "wuzzy."

If that's the case then in some ways everyone's a "wuzzy" because I can't think of anyone who actually isn't at some point afraid to do something for fear of being hurt. Maybe what is meant by the above comment is that self-doubt can prevent a person from capitalizing on opportunities, but in my opinion that does not mean that a person is wrong for feeling self-doubt.

One the other side of the coin, getting one's foot in the door is only half the battle. I think one thing that many people forget is that just because you found that "special someone" doesn't mean you won't ever get hurt. I used to think that if I just could find a partner/spouse/girlfriend life would be so much better. But being in a relationship is when it really becomes the most challenging. That is why there are marriage counselors, after all. But, I found out that if you don't like the person inside of yourself it doesn't matter if you are with the hottest girl on the planet, you will still feel bad about yourself (for example, one may think to oneself "she's probably going to be hit on by so many guys and then not want to stay with me"). Even people in successful relationships get hurt by their partners on occassion. There is no happily ever after, but that is okay.

The bottom line is that people have to ease their way into experiences, and if we boldly rush into a relationship that "feels good" now, we may find that there are other things down the line that will hurt us. The best advice may not be to call each other wuzzies, but to help us understand ourselves better so that we can prepare for and endure the inevitable hurt we will experience in any relationship. That will lead to the long-term success we all desire. It is a matter of cost vs. benefit, and relationships can be worth the price, but each person must weigh the costs and benefits for themselves.

No, the problem is you make it out to be a fire. Girls aren't scary and they won't eat you. Being rejected is something EVERYBODY experiences, Asperger or not. It's completely egocentric to give up in the belief you are something else than everybody else. Embrace your uniqueness instead of feeling sorry for yourself!

""Girls aren't scary and they won't eat you""

I have to disagree, i`ve met some scary woman
in my time....and if you ask nicely they might...
never mind

Eh, its not always that easy. A lot of us have issues other than aspergers that get in the way of stuff like that. In my case, when i was little, i was the weird kid, i couldn't tell when someone was serious or messing with me. As a result, i was made fun of and picked on through most of grade school, and the paranoia about being laughed at persists to this day.
It's gotten bad enough that i'm usually afraid to talk to people, unless i know them already, or i can jump in a coversation on a topic i know. This is probably why i'll never have a girlfriend.

Anyway, point i'm trying to make is, its not always being 'weak' that causes people to be recluses, you can't just get up in the morning and say "i'm going to ditch that debilitating social phobia today". The human mind doesn't work like that, aspie or not.

Ummm... You haven't been around here long. For starters, your avatar is confusing. You are a man. You show a picture of a woman. This group is for all levels, the full spectrum of Autism/Asperger's. Don't assume that someone who is fully literate can figure out that picture. I'll send you a quick PM to illustrate how vast the difference can be.

This group also includes all ages and ranges of experience. Your attitude shows an ignorance that is comparable to "let them eat cake." I haven't been hiding in my room all of my life. I've been out there and I know that some things just don't work. Banging my head against the wall, over and over, is pointless without new information or a new understanding or insight as to why it doesn't work. Making a magical wish will not help. Emo talk is not helpful. If it were that simple and easy, we wouldn't be here. We come here to get away from that kind of talk.

No, the problem is that it's a pointless, wasted effort, no matter how you look at it. You can either try to conform to the ideal of the attractive douchebag who gets all the ladies but will never have any meaningful relationships, or you can continue "just being yourself" and therefore unattractive, incompatible, and alone. Personally, I prefer the latter, because at least I have some chance of happiness with that.


Amen to that... I've been rejected without even ASKING. And if there ever were any "signs" that a girl was interested in me, I must've missed them. But good luck trying to decipher female code...

Yes, I am a man and even though some have transformers and others have he-man, I will change my Final Fantasy 7 avatar soon.

I'm just trying to inject some courage and confidence into this vast sea of negative-toned threads. In my opinion, lack of self confidence and fear of girls is not directly attributable to autism of any kind. It is however a likely consequence of having no idea how to interact properly with people. So my little rant here is about stopping to pretend you're something you're not. Go out there and dare to take a hit once in a while!

EDIT: Being negative, inwardly and afraid of everybody is not being yourself.

Each individual here has a unique set of issues and causes for their problems. If all they need is some artificial "confidence," they can get that from some stupid shrink. As in, "Please give me drugs so that I won't be afraid to put the pedal to the floor and ram this baby into that brick wall. Again." Pain and fear are nature's way of telling you to stop being an idiot. Drugs and false confidence only cause more pain. When stuff doesn't work, it doesn't work for a reason. If you can't figure out the cause of the problem or find some new strategy, you're just asking for more pain.

I just can agree to this, i understand what you mean,
but it doesn`t work that way. You are talking about
your reality, that has nothing to do with for example
my reality. If you say something is easy, but i say
that same thing is hard, then i get the feel you think
its easy and thats it. That just doesn`t work in my
reality.

Let say as an example that i think its easy to do a frontside
900, 15 feet up in the air on a snowboard. And lets say you
think it really hard, you keep falling and falling. I say its
easy, what do you think, is it easy or hard? If you think
its hard, then we are both right. But how do you feel if
i say that , no no, you`re just doing it wrong, its a piece
of cake. I`ll bet you still think its hard, even if i dont.

""Go out there and dare to take a hit once in a while!""

You write this as if no one here has ever taken a chance,
and you know how to do it. Shut the hell up and sit
down for 5 minutes, take a breather. Dont tell me about
taking chances, not one word. I have no wish to argue,
but enough is enough. Who are you anyway? What have
you done that is so big? I dont undertstand where your
confidence comes from and the way you write your posts
here in this thread it just sounds like everyone here is doing
something wrong, except you. And i wont just sit here and
not speak up against that. I say, you`re the one whos wrong
on this one. I understand what you mean and that its well ment,
but you are still wrong.

*takes off gloves*

Last edited by ImTheGuyThatDidThat on 16 Mar 2009, 12:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Ok. Sorry. I will shut up now.

Thank you - write what you want but please
dont call people wuzzes and tell them how easy
it is. If it is that way for you, great. We`re trying
our best we others also, we really are.

And again, i really dont want to argue or become
mortal enemies over this, i was rude but you kinda
asked for it no hard feelings i hope, this
thread got to me and here we are

Last edited by ImTheGuyThatDidThat on 16 Mar 2009, 12:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.