Relationships on the Spectrum
I have a question, but I'm not sure how really to phrase it so I'm going to give a little explanation, and then do my best to ask what I wanted to ask.
I've been seeing a Brain Doctor (BD) about depression, and it came up that I very likely have AS. Okay. That's fine. I decided to talk to my significant other (SO) about it, and he had mentioned that a lot of the information I had on AS seemed normal to him because he did those things all the time. I've mentioned things about him to the BD, and the BD suggested that there's a possibility that he may have AS as well. Either way, it doesn't matter, we both get along well, and he's been the first person I've been able to live with where I feel relaxed, and comfortable, and very much myself.
He and I have kind of an unusual relationship compared to other people that we know. We don't have a stereotypical relationship with clearly defined roles, nor are either of us into much quality time. We're both very content to simply exist in the same room and "do our own thing," with intermittent bouts of togetherness. We go for drives, and game together, and eat together, and we share many of the same interests which translates into together time, but we spend much of our time in our tiny, one bedroom apartment doing our own respective things. This doesn't bother either one of us. We're just as content to be spending time together as we are to be spending time apart. We're not clingy with each other, and there isn't any real degree of emotional discord between us because there aren't these weird emotional subtleties. He says the best way to put it is that we're roommates who are best friends, who are occassionally romantic together.
I'm not really saying, "do you think we both have AS?" because that's obviously going to be about talking to the BD, and other things such as that (and he's not so concerned about it as much as I am because I have significant personal issues, and Life Problems, and I get very depressed which is why I started seeing a BD in the first place). I'm also not really trying to brag and say "hey, I have a great relationship," because that's not my intent, so I hope no one takes it that way. I'm very appreciative that I have my SO because without him I would pretty much be completely alone. He's one of only two people I actually feel connected to in any significant way.
I suppose I'm more just gathering information than asking a question, but I think what I'm getting at is that I would like to know if there's anyone with an ASD who had dated/married someone else with an ASD, and I wanted to know what that relationship was like.
I hope this is appropriate.
Thank you very much in advance for your time and consideration.
I have been in an AS/AS relationship before.
The relationship lasted just over three years, and it was long distance.
Pretty much the only issue I had with her was when I needed to get to sleep early so I could be well-rested for work, and she wanted to talk on the phone.
The relationship fell apart due to the two of us being exact opposites of each other (aside from AS) and the fact that she was probably asexual (I am not asexual). The relationship was long-distance, but the fact that we were opposites and her asexuality would have caused problems if she had lived locally.
I would consider another AS/AS relationship, but only with someone whom I have much in common, and who is not asexual.
Tim
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poopylungstuffing
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Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
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I don't know if me and Flakey have an AS/AS relationship, but we do tend to happily give each other the requred headspace that we both need..We are simply happy to cohabitate and do things independant of eachother even though we are together almost every waking (and sleeping hour)
my first girlfriend had AS, that didn't work out well in the end but that was a difference on opinion on one or two things, second girlfriend I wouldn't know if she had for sure because she wasn't serious enough, my ex I always suspected maybe had AS but had no real way to confirm that
so having at least 1 AS/AS relationship and possibly 2 others as well in the past, I know that AS was not the cause of the relationships failing
my current truly lovely sweetheart has AS and we both get on very well, this is a long distance relationship but we both still love one another and in fact have a few things in common
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