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Family disapproval of partners

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jcCoolidgejr.
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01 Jul 2017, 4:25 am

I'm a sophomore in high school. I come from a very large family. Everyone is dating and conventionally attractive. Even my elementary little brother. I'm not attractive or dating anyone. Every time I find a girl and I can tell we like each other I can never ask her out because I have an intense fear of choosing someone my family doesn't deam attractive enough. I prefer personality so they aren't usually the most attractive. I once told my older brother a girl at my school like me and was attractive when he asked. She was not of good moral character to say the least. He told my whole family and they've been bothering me for almost a year now on it. I feel paralized because I'm the weird one and I have had a strained relationship with my stepmom in the past, who I see as responsible for pushing my siblings into dating. I don't want to disappoint my father because out of his two blood sons my older brother is smart, charming, and charadmatic. When he told me I had Asphergers he gave me The Complete Guide to Asphergers Syndrome. We never talked about it in the 4 years since he gave it to me. I feel like whatever I do I'm a disappointment. Should I talk to my family? Should I date who I want? I'm just so worried.



hurtloam
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01 Jul 2017, 4:29 am

Yes date women who you are attracted to not those your family deem attractive

But be careful. I don't know why your brother made a comment about that girls moral character, but he might know something about her that you don't. Is she a thief and you don't realise. Will she just mess you around and break your heart?

Love who you want to, but don't be naive about it.



jcCoolidgejr.
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01 Jul 2017, 4:30 am

hurtloam wrote:
Yes date women who you are attracted to not those your family deem attractive

But be careful. I don't know why your brother made a comment about that girls moral character, but he might know something about her that you don't. Is she a thief and you don't realise. Will she just mess you around and break your heart?

Love who you want to, but don't be naive about it.


No she's a whore.



hurtloam
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01 Jul 2017, 4:36 am

jcCoolidgejr. wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Yes date women who you are attracted to not those your family deem attractive

But be careful. I don't know why your brother made a comment about that girls moral character, but he might know something about her that you don't. Is she a thief and you don't realise. Will she just mess you around and break your heart?

Love who you want to, but don't be naive about it.


No she's a whore.


Ah you can't really like her that much if you don't respect her enough to call her that:(



jcCoolidgejr.
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01 Jul 2017, 4:41 am

hurtloam wrote:
jcCoolidgejr. wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Yes date women who you are attracted to not those your family deem attractive

But be careful. I don't know why your brother made a comment about that girls moral character, but he might know something about her that you don't. Is she a thief and you don't realise. Will she just mess you around and break your heart?

Love who you want to, but don't be naive about it.


No she's a whore.


Ah you can't really like her that much if you don't respect her enough to call her that:(

Let me clear it up. My older brother asked me if any attractive girls like me. A girl of bad moral stock likes me but she is attractive. I have no interest in dating her but I answered him with an honest yes. He told the rest of my family. Now they won't stop bugging me about it.



hurtloam
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01 Jul 2017, 6:13 am

Oh. That's a shame. I don't know what to say. That was really mean of him :(



cberg
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01 Jul 2017, 6:32 am

hurtloam wrote:
Yes date women who you are attracted to not those your family deem attractive

But be careful. I don't know why your brother made a comment about that girls moral character, but he might know something about her that you don't. Is she a thief and you don't realise. Will she just mess you around and break your heart?

Love who you want to, but don't be naive about it.


Love people anyway even if you're naieve.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Jul 2017, 7:07 am

I am sure family (especially the aunts!) would disapprove my partner; she is a foreigner, older than me, single mom with 3 daughters and surgically sterile.

They would lecture me, I am sure.



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01 Jul 2017, 11:30 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am sure family (especially the aunts!) would disapprove my partner; she is a foreigner, older than me, single mom with 3 daughters and surgically sterile.

They would lecture me, I am sure.


Well done Boo.



hurtloam
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01 Jul 2017, 12:59 pm

cberg wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Yes date women who you are attracted to not those your family deem attractive

But be careful. I don't know why your brother made a comment about that girls moral character, but he might know something about her that you don't. Is she a thief and you don't realise. Will she just mess you around and break your heart?

Love who you want to, but don't be naive about it.


Love people anyway even if you're naieve.


What im saying is beware of nasty people. Don't get hurt. Has happened to a few here and embittered them.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Jul 2017, 1:13 pm

Stalk wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am sure family (especially the aunts!) would disapprove my partner; she is a foreigner, older than me, single mom with 3 daughters and surgically sterile.

They would lecture me, I am sure.


Well done Boo.


...and Christian too. lol.



cberg
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01 Jul 2017, 3:51 pm

hurtloam wrote:
cberg wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Yes date women who you are attracted to not those your family deem attractive

But be careful. I don't know why your brother made a comment about that girls moral character, but he might know something about her that you don't. Is she a thief and you don't realise. Will she just mess you around and break your heart?

Love who you want to, but don't be naive about it.


Love people anyway even if you're naieve.


What im saying is beware of nasty people. Don't get hurt. Has happened to a few here and embittered them.


& Nobody let an internet full of nasty people keep them down, that's just silly.


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


hurtloam
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01 Jul 2017, 4:25 pm

cberg wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
cberg wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Yes date women who you are attracted to not those your family deem attractive

But be careful. I don't know why your brother made a comment about that girls moral character, but he might know something about her that you don't. Is she a thief and you don't realise. Will she just mess you around and break your heart?

Love who you want to, but don't be naive about it.


Love people anyway even if you're naieve.


What im saying is beware of nasty people. Don't get hurt. Has happened to a few here and embittered them.


& Nobody let an internet full of nasty people keep them down, that's just silly.


No I meant in real life. Beware of the women who will meds you around. Although. Also don't be paranoid. In not scare mongering.

Just be careful who you fall for.



cberg
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01 Jul 2017, 4:55 pm

Can't be too careful.


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01 Jul 2017, 6:30 pm

jcCoolidgejr. wrote:
I'm a sophomore in high school. I come from a very large family. Everyone is dating and conventionally attractive. Even my elementary little brother. I'm not attractive or dating anyone. Every time I find a girl and I can tell we like each other I can never ask her out because I have an intense fear of choosing someone my family doesn't deam attractive enough. I prefer personality so they aren't usually the most attractive. I once told my older brother a girl at my school like me and was attractive when he asked. She was not of good moral character to say the least. He told my whole family and they've been bothering me for almost a year now on it. I feel paralized because I'm the weird one and I have had a strained relationship with my stepmom in the past, who I see as responsible for pushing my siblings into dating. I don't want to disappoint my father because out of his two blood sons my older brother is smart, charming, and charadmatic. When he told me I had Asphergers he gave me The Complete Guide to Asphergers Syndrome. We never talked about it in the 4 years since he gave it to me. I feel like whatever I do I'm a disappointment. Should I talk to my family? Should I date who I want? I'm just so worried.


It's not your family's role to decide who you should find attractive and who you shouldn't. If you find someone attractive, then they are attractive enough for you, and if your family thinks they are ugly, that is their problem. I would not refrain from dating someone merely because my family thought they were not attractive enough. I would only refrain from dating someone I liked at the behest of my family if my family though the individual was dangerous in some way.



cberg
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01 Jul 2017, 6:35 pm

It's dangerous to ever think people are ugly OR dangerous.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen: