Great advice from a standup comedian, and other observations

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Wow its been a bloody long time since I posted here last.

Theres this website I like to look at which is like a Youtube for standup comedy: www.effinfunny.com. I Highly recomed it. Btw, in case you go there, you can only really access the pulldown directory of the massive library of standup clips *from the home page*.

Anyhow, I found this one clip that is very good, if blut advice for anyone, but especially, though not limited to, men, who want to start a conversation with a member of the oposite sex:

http://effinfunny.com/watchclips.php?video=39

Its short, and very much to the point. Its not so much advice as a demonstration of how one comes off to others when both in your own little world, and especially down on yourself for not having social skills (while at a party.) That said, it is very funny beleive it or not. But its profound because theres a difference between being yourself, and being yourself atractively.

Also theres a secondary meaning, which is important, if male specific: women are among other things atracted to confidence, or the illusion of it. If you project a lack theirof in any way, it is instantly unatractive to them. The reason this doesnt go for women as well is because, lets face it, men are atracted first by looks, and second by personality. Women like confidence and illusion of social status (thats why things like being rich can help, though its not essential). Theres other things too but have you ever noticed how ugly as*holes end up with dates and girlfriends?

Btw, the reason as*holes can get girls is that women can't always tell the difference between cool, atractive guys and as*holes because the two have one thing in common: neither act like they care about what people think of them.

Another observation: neediness. Regardless of your gender, consider the following, when socializing, telling jokes, or trying to fit in: ask yourself if you are saying what you're saying to try to please your audience. This is a big one for anyone who doesnt fit in, but especially for anyone with Aspergers because you're probably starting out even lonelier than one who normally doesnt fit in, and you have a social handicap.

The reason is this: neediness, or acting like you're trying to gain approval, is unatractive. Its unatractive because people who do that do that come across as fake, and manipulative. "I dont really want to be your friend. I just want you to like me." Also, if you shorten it to just the second part, "I just want you to like me" is lame as well but not for the same reason. Its just a turn-off.

This doesnt mean that you should never be nice to people. My point is do it but do it always on your terms, when you feel like it. People respect that and like it more because it looks more genuine than constantly trying to gain approval.

Remember when I was plugging that "Double your Dating" book on here last year? Everyone thought I was either full of it or hired to sell the book or soemthing. Well the above stuff is in the book and its valuable for any life situation, not just men trying to be atractive to women. Its a good buy. Helped this Aspi out a ton.

EH?

Someone want to put out the condensed version
for us?

I'd suggest not overdoing it.
I tend to act SO confident that
I scare the little ones away.

Especially when I ask them
what the hell makes them
think they have a right to
speak to ME.