Tips for dating an AT? (Male AT/Female Not Diagnosed)

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I've been romantically interested in this guy, who shall be referred to as Bob, for a couple months. We've known each other for a couple years now through a mutual interest, bowling, but we've never really been able to hang out together much. We're both interested in trying to make this relationship work and text regularly, in addition to seeing each other at least every fortnight due to bowling. Bob is really respectful of my boundaries, which I am very appreciative of, as well as the fact that I want to get to know him better before we start to "officially date."

Most people would think that our age difference of four years is a little strange, especially since he hangs around his group of friends whereas I float between different groups. (I'm not a social butterfly, but I'm on amicable terms with the general population.) Anyways, we have gone over boundaries several times, but Bob has yet to tell me if he has any particular boundaries that he thinks that I should be aware of, although I only know a few.

I am aware, however, that he has been "talking" to other girls and seems to be interested in just having a girlfriend in general. Despite the fact that he has said that he has "true feelings" for me, I'm not sure if he's merely saying this in an attempt to woo me. Some of the other girls that he has been "talking" to have informed me of his behavior after they learned that I was interested in him. His language has been repetitive for nearly all of the girls, but I hope that I can actually make it to a relationship with him eventually.

He hasn't mentioned his diagnosis, although I'm guessing that he probably assumes that I'm aware already. In order to cater towards him more and be a better partner, I would love to hear any tips that anyone has for me. I'm open to questions as long as they aren't too personal. Thanks!

Well he may not be sure if you'd want to be his girlfriend, so he's not limiting his potential dating options to just you. I mean it is possible to have true feelings for more than one person especially if you aren't in a relationship and are looking at potential options of people you could be in a relationship with. I mean you could date him for a bit without making it official to get to know him, just try and be clear about it.

Me and my boyfriend, started dating only each other before we actually decided we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend because we both had some not so great experiences in the past and wanted to be sure of it before committing to that. So I think it can be a good approach. I mean we were both pretty certain when we first met in person that we wanted a relationship but just as a precaution we waited till we went on a few dates and hung out quite a bit before finalizing it.

First of all, thank you so much for your reply!! Your insight is very helpful. Honestly, we have mentioned that we're eventually going to be dating each other, just not at the moment because of our current situations. The thing that bothered me most was when Bob asked if he could date my friends, but break up with them once I'm ready to date him. We've both been pretty blunt with each other and want to still get to know each other. I just don't like the idea that he might just want a girlfriend to fill a role in his life, not me as a person, even though he said that he really does want to go steady with me once I'm ready.

OK, the comment about dating your friends in the meantime was about as smooth as sandpaper, but it did come at the heel of you taking yourself of the proverbial table. I also wouldn't worry too much about the repetitive language, as it's a common trait and coping mechanism for those of us who aren't quick on our feet in social situations. Also, if he's been repetitive with the other girls he's talked to, but less so with you, that's a point in your favour.

My $0.02 would be that it's you he wants, but as Sweetleaf said; if he's unsure about where you and he stand, it wouldn't be in his interest to limit himself to only you. The only advice I can really give is don't play games. You don't seem the type, but it's worth putting an extra emphasis on that when dealing with aspies.

Best of luck to the both of you.

What's a AT

Sorry for the typo . I meant AS