Benefits of having a girlfriend?

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27 Aug 2017, 3:35 pm

Making this short, I'm 34 year-old dude, single and lovin' it. I know a lot of us aspies don't get into a lot of relationships (If I'm wrong, though, please, PLEASE correct me). I've been with a fair number of girls (and a couple of dudes) and maybe a couple of those intimate pairings blossomed into a relationship though nothing long-term.

I guess I have to ask everyone here: what are the pros and cons of having a girlfriend? I've only really acknowledged many of the cons so I'm thinking I could get some outside impressions for the pros.

Yakuzamonroe
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27 Aug 2017, 5:17 pm

I also want to add I sometimes, SOMETIMES, feel lonely. However, I don't consider this a strong enough reason to be in a relationship.

I'm talking about tangible benefits.

that1weirdgrrrl
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27 Aug 2017, 7:54 pm

Yakuzamonroe wrote:

I also want to add I sometimes, SOMETIMES, feel lonely. However, I don't consider this a strong enough reason to be in a relationship.

I'm talking about tangible benefits.

There aren't any really. The people who crave companionship want just that-- a special person to go through life with.

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old_comedywriter
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27 Aug 2017, 8:06 pm

The logical reasons are: Someone to be by your side when you're sick; someone to share ideas with; someone to help you with projects; someone to do things with; someone to support you when you're feeling low.

The emotional reasons are: Someone to show you the things in life you would never discover on your own; someone to share intimacy with; someone to give that extra part of yourself and your life to; someone to help along when they need it; and for men, someone to show you the beauty in life that you don't see by yourself.

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Yakuzamonroe
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27 Aug 2017, 9:17 pm

old_comedywriter wrote:

Logical: Getting friends can fulfil this criteria.

Emotional: Friends can fill up the roles for the 1st, 4th and 5th. 2nd one, intimacy might yield diminishing returns with each moment you share giving such enduring closeness an effective expiration rate. 3rd seems legit tho. Need a stable lady friend to fill that empty space in your life I suppose.

Boxman108
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27 Aug 2017, 11:49 pm

Cons: loss of half or more of your life savings, possibly children, definitely dignity

Pros: maybe an early grave

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sly279
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28 Aug 2017, 2:22 am

Yakuzamonroe wrote:

old_comedywriter wrote:

No friends cant

Aspie1
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28 Aug 2017, 5:59 am

Yakuzamonroe wrote:

I also want to add I sometimes, SOMETIMES, feel lonely. However, I don't consider this a strong enough reason to be in a relationship.

I'm talking about tangible benefits.

Looks like no one listed the "tangible benefits" yet. Here's one: a guaranteed date for events where you're "required" to bring a date.

Anything else can be fulfilled by other people. Companionship can come from friends, vacationing can be done solo if you stick with cruises, and sex can come from escorts. After a certain age, a girlfriend simply stops being worth the investment she requires. Not to mention, that investment skyrockets as you get older. Having one helps you look normal, but that's if you actually care.

314pe
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28 Aug 2017, 6:45 am

Aspie1 wrote:

Not to mention, that investment skyrockets as you get older.

In what way?

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28 Aug 2017, 6:50 am

314pe wrote:

Aspie1 wrote:

Not to mention, that investment skyrockets as you get older.

In what way?

When you're young (from teens until late 20's), relationships are still fun. You hang out together, you go places, you have sex; in between, you each do your own things. But when you reach the age when most women want to get married and have babies, you'll be expected to get serious, abandon your former lifestyle, become permanently welded at the hip, and think about the future

GiantHockeyFan
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28 Aug 2017, 9:33 am

Boxman108 wrote:

Cons: loss of half or more of your life savings, possibly children, definitely dignity

Pros: maybe an early grave

Only if you get involved with the wrong one. My crazy ex would have ruined my finances among other things but my wife has made my financial situation MUCH better. We were able to buy a nice home in a good neighbourhood and are now expecting a child. As well, she has made it clear how important she considers fathers to be in a kid's life and my life is all around better for having her.

Yakuzamonroe
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28 Aug 2017, 2:34 pm

sly279 wrote:

Yakuzamonroe wrote:

old_comedywriter wrote:

No friends cant

Care to elaborate?

Yakuzamonroe
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28 Aug 2017, 2:36 pm

Aspie1 wrote:

314pe wrote:

Aspie1 wrote:

Not to mention, that investment skyrockets as you get older.

In what way?

The future? Kids? Abandon my former lifestyle?

Yeah. Pass. Having a gf, in my eyes, should make your life , and subsequently hers, better. It shouldn't predispose your time, energy and livelihood for somebody else entirely.

Sweetleaf
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28 Aug 2017, 5:08 pm

Yakuzamonroe wrote:

Aspie1 wrote:

314pe wrote:

Aspie1 wrote:

Not to mention, that investment skyrockets as you get older.

In what way?

Doesn't have to be that way.

My boyfriend has me for a girlfriend and I don't want kids...and I wouldn't have gone out with someone if I took an issue with their lifestyle, I think it is important to have compatible lifestyles. I'd say in my situation me and my boyfriend do make each others lives better. We certainly are not 'welded at the hip' or serious all the time.

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MaxE
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28 Aug 2017, 5:46 pm

Aspie1 wrote:

Well the future is a thing, you know.

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Yakuzamonroe
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28 Aug 2017, 6:27 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Yakuzamonroe wrote:

Aspie1 wrote:

314pe wrote:

Aspie1 wrote:

Not to mention, that investment skyrockets as you get older.

In what way?

Agreed. No kids, never wanted 'em. And my ideal life partner would have interests compatible with mine and respect my space when I need it. Not a lot a girls who seem to understand private time is just as important as intimacy. It wouldn't hurt if she happened to bring a smile to my face now and again, however.

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