How to handle a friends with benefits scenario?

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I have a friend with benefits situation that I once was content with, but now I feel quite uneasy about.

The fact is that I am in love with this man, and he had told me that he loves me but he is not in love with me.

I do not want to feel jealous when he finds the guy that is right for him. Nor do I want him to feel like he needs to sever ties with me when that time comes. I really want what is best for him in his life.

I am visiting him in a couple of weeks. While a part of me wants to make love, another part of me is questioning whether or not that would really be a good idea. Add in that I am on the spectrum, and he is NT. I do not know how to bring this up to him without sounding hurtful.

I would rather keep the friendship without the benefits if that is what it took to keep him from feeling hurt further on down the line.

Anybody have any ideas on how this can be handled?

I can only go off my experience, which is kind of a (wish that I had done that differently) kind of thing. The reality is that in these situations, someone, if not both people are going to end up getting hurt. Sometimes it ends up ok. But a lot of communication, compromise, mutual respect, and honesty has to exist throughout the situation. The situation changes, so it is needed throughout the experience. I don't know all of the details of the situation so I can't exactly say what I would do in your situation, however, I would say this. You need to treat yourself well, and make sure what is going on in your life is healthy. If this is really hurting you, than I would get out of the situation, maybe suggest taking a break from it or tell him that this is hurting you. You can try to make sure you are still friends, if you can, however, if you can't then you can at least say you were honest. I hope this advice helps. However, I'm not an expert and I might be missing the mark. However, I hope I can help, and I wish you the best.

If you don't want to have sex with this man without a commitment, you have to tell him that.

Otherwise, he'll think he can swing many ways with many other men, and still make love with you.

I know it's a hard situation.

Actually, I was his first. And I think he wanted to satisfy his curiosity with a safe person. He is not the kind of guy that would dive into sex with people he barely knows.

I talked with him about this since I made this post. We both agreed that the friendship and the bromance was too good to risk losing just to have a few more orgasms. It turns out that transperency about intent is often a good thing in situations like this.

Yep...transparency is the best thing.