Is he a friend or could be more?

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I am not really sure where I stand. I took some online tests and results were that I have some aspergian traits but I'm totally clueless when it comes to men. I always misinterpret their level of interest.
6 years ago I met this guy who became practically my best guy friend. At the beginning I could hardly talk to him, I was really awkward but him too. He has aspergers. It's a small miracle that we stayed in touched. 2 years later we started hanging out more and more often when I confessed I fancied him. He politely rejected me but weirdly this brought us even closer.
We continued to be friends, meeting weekly, he was talking a lot at the beginning. Sometimes 3 hours monologues but I didn't mind as he was interesting.
Probably he started trusting me more as by now it's an actual conversation. He let me talk too.
2 years ago I tried to "break up" with him as I still love him more than a friend, I told him I didn't want to talk to him. He looked really hurt. And actually 2 months later he wrote me again. Then I realised I would not "get rid of him" that easy. He needs me in his life.
But it's confusing the hell out of me as until the end of the year he was insisting we were friends only. But then I saw him being jealous when I talked to other guys, once practically he dragged me away, other times he kept hugging me, I did feel like he was claiming his territory.
At the moment we don't live in the same cities, I am doing an internship abroad.
It feels like since I am not there anymore he changed, a lot.
He said to me he missed me. First time during the 6 years he messaged things like take care, never before, He said he felt lonely. He called me on the phone, we are chatting more often online than before. He mentioned some love songs I should listen. He is even planning to visit me. He said I was special to him.
I remember once long time ago he said he didn't want to drag me down and ruin my positive outlook on life.
Normally he is the one who initiates contact, actually it was down to him we stayed in touch as for years I didn't save his number, I didn't want to text him all the time. But he always did it anyway.

The questions I have is could it be that the distance made him realise that he actually likes me more than a friend? Or is this just the asperger's way of being a friend? I mean I have other guy friends but they dn't go out of their way to stay in touch with me, none of them calls me on the phone.
If a guy with aspergers thinks of you as friend, is it possible that he would change his perception of me?
Some insight would be greatly appreciated as I feel like I'm going crazy plus I don't want to wait another decade hoping. (Don't get me wrong I am happy to be friends but I need to take care of my own life too and if there's no hope I'd rather try to move on)
Thank you.

Well see if he actually comes to visit.

Also perhaps try and have a conversation about what your and his relationship is, maybe express that if you and him are going to remain just friends...you may consider other relationships and getting a boyfriend, because whilst you enjoy his friendship you also want romance in your life. I mean it sounds like you would like a romantic relationship and you've been waiting on this guy who has given some kind of mixed signals...and well if you wait too long for him you may miss out on other opportunities for a relationship and never have the sort of relationship you desire from him.

Or do you feel he's really the only guy you see yourself in a relationship with?

Also I might be misunderstanding a bit, but it was a bit concerning the bit about him dragging you away when talking to guys...does seem a bit possessive so maybe have some caution. I mean did it make you uncomfortable when he did that or the time he kept like hugging you to 'claim his territory'? like I guess I am not sure if it was more playful and not guys you were actually trying to ask out or anything...or like actually being forceful. Either way it did sound a bit concerning so I'd use some caution...like could have just been kind of immature behavior, but worst case senerio its a red flag of potentially abusive traits.

Thank you for your reply.
Sorry, dragging might not have been the best choice of words. It was more like I was talking to these guys and he came and started rushing me that we would be late from somewhere we were going.
I think he was jealous a bit. But yes, you got me thinking of the early signs of an abusive behavior.

Ok, well that is not quite as bad as I was thinking...but certainly still a bit possesive/jealous. But yeah basically he should not dictate who you talk to and for how long...if it was just the one incident then yeah people make mistakes I don't want to judge your friend on on incident. But if it is a common pattern for him to try and stop you talking to people and like keep you all to himself then that is certainly crossing the line to more abusive behavior than friend behavior.

But yeah I mean if he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, he's going to have to come to terms that, that might mean you could meet someone else to fall in love with and if that were to happen he needs to respect that. I mean I doubt you're going to want to spend your whole life in a weird limbo wondering if he could ever become more than a friend or not.

He realized that he loves you.

Well then he should act on it...and end the confusion.

I agree Sweetleaf! If he does like me, then say something. I already confessed. It was him insisting on friendship in the past , it's his turn now!

It sounds like he is one those people that enjoys the close friendship he has with you, but isn't attracted to you enough to go on a date with you. He doesn't want anyone else to date you either, because he thinks he would lose that close friendship.

I would say that you need to have an honest conversation with him. If he doesn't want anything more, I would distance myself from him. There are other people out there that will give you what he isn't. He is holding you back.

I mostly agree with this, although I'll add another theory. He may be genuinely fond of you and may find you physically attractive, but he has a strong fear of relationships. Which could be due to anything but you personally. And yes, he's hesitant to "let" you date other men, because it will put a damper on the close friendship you built. I see nothing wrong with his feelings here.

So while I don't think you should distance yourself from him---because good, trusting friendships are extremely rare---an honest conversation about boundaries and what-have-you isn't a bad idea.

I think we both agree...an honest conversation is in order.

If I were interested in her, and this person (that may, or may not be interested in her romantically) was always hanging around, and interfered with her talking to me, I would have a problem with that. This is what most people call cockblocking. So, if he isn't interested in dating her, he needs to step back, and let her talk to other people.

Life isn't just about talk...

Touch approach, get laid, he's yours...

There're lots of things to explore, and nothing to be so afraid of, you both should loosen up, diversify activities and stretch your confort zone.

Thanks you guys for the lot of replies.
Hmmm yes, I think that "talk" is inevitable.
Next week I am visiting my family in my hometown, that could be a great opportunity to have a chat with him.
I need to figure out what to say as I don't want to "scare" him or to make him feel like I am attacking him.
Thank you to all of you who took their time to answer my long question.

I agree with those who said you have to have "that talk." And there can't be any subtlety in it. You have to state clearly what you want and ask him to state clearly what he wants. I know from talking to my AS son and my daughter (who knows the girls my son interacts with better than I do) that wants and desires are easily misunderstand when someone with AS is involved. So, there is only one way about it: be blunt. Both of you.

There is no reward without risk. If you think you may want something more, you have to risk saying so. If you don't and worry he does, you have to risk saying that, as well. JHMO.

It is possible, by the way, that he is confused about his own feelings. Feelings and situations do change, as well. Let him say that, if that is the case. Sometimes we have to own what we have before trying to put a name on it.

It is possible, but in most cases, people know right away if they are romantically interested in someone, or not...even people with AS.

I've seen it change too often to put the word "most" on it. Love can come from a lot of different foundations; it doesn't always have to be lust (which is what initial attraction usually is, in my opinion).

I disagree with you on that. People categorize other people within the first few moments of meeting them (whether they are fully conscious of it, or not). With guys, some of the categories are: physically attractive, dateable, just friends, not interested, or they are undecided. Love usually comes later, and it isn't always romantic. The only time it ever "changes", is when they were undecided (50% interest level), which means the other person did something to increase their interest level (this could be changing physical appearance, love, increase in confidence, etc.). Romantic interest just doesn't appear out of nowhere...if it happens, there was always something there to begin with.