AS/AS Relationship: too similar?

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I'm currently in an AS/AS LDR. My partner and I get along very well. He's probably the first person I have been able to talk to (probably because he and I are at a similar place on the spectrum.) We share similar thought processes, social difficulties and interests. We immediately clicked. Because we're so similar, I have seen my 'flaws' only intensify. All we do is stay indoors and talk, play video games and watch and analyze movies together. I feel like we've become very dependent on each other because we both see ourselves as introverts with few friends, and are obsessive and anxious (would rather talk to each other than socialize). Before meeting each other, both of us were the type who slept around/basically didn't want to pursue a relationship because we felt like such loners. We both have had bouts with depression and are both pretty closed people.

I feel like maybe it would be better if we were each with someone NT, because though everybody says AS/AS relationships are ideal, I feel like we might need someone to 'balance us out'. I really like the guy I'm with. I feel like he too has doubts--he fears that we're too stable and it feels weird that we aren't turbulent because we're both used to feeling self-doubt and disinterest in relationships.

You know you're posting on a forum filled with people who can't find anyone, right? :O Sounds to me like you found a match and you're happy with him, so who cares that it's making you both shut-ins? If you're happy like that, then just be happy If it bothers you that much, talk to him about it and you guys can get out there and meet people together. Don't break off a good relationship, the grass is rarely greener next door, you're just viewing it through the wrong lens.

Hey there! I actually logged in just to share my own experiences on AS/AS relationships.

I'm 32 years old (female) and I've been in 3 relationships...my 1st has AS as well (undiagnosed, but his traits were more severe than mine, and it was the most intense and uncomfortable relationship I've ever been in, we were obsessed with each other), the 2nd was an NT and it only lasted a month lol. The 3rd also has AS and we were together a year, got engaged. He doesn't know he has AS but his family constantly talked about how eccentric and 'child-like/transparent' he is and how I complement him so well. Because he had no self-awareness, he was very judgmental towards me and my own quirks, and towards the end became overbearingly mean. There is nothing worse than a person with AS who is in denial (or ignorant) about their condition, they are nightmares...it's worse than being with an NT.

Currently, I am with another AS guy (diagnosed and self-aware...finally!), it's been a little over a month, he is 35, and things are going wonderfully...we oscillate between intense + passionate + sensitive, and cool + robotic + structured , and we are always in sync. We're both super blunt and transparent (and we both have a history of being rejected or taken advantage of because of that), we both hate PDA or holding hands, we both struggle with eye contact, both foodies, we are obsessed with similar topics (spirituality, ancient history, philosophy, psychology) so there's always something to discuss, ponder and debate about. We also both hate noise and crowds and prefer being in quiet places. Things moved superfast. But because we both are self-aware, we are the ones driving the relationship and not the other way round. Not saying we don't each have our flaws...he is very paranoid at times (and it overwhelms me and makes me want to escape when he has an episode), and I get really messy when I'm distracted and in hyperfocus mode (he is very anal and a neat freak so he hates that)...but we have been handling this quite well to my surprise. I've been single and alone for 4 years before I met him, and I had given up on men and relationships, so him coming into my life is a blessing for me (and vice versa...he had been in a string of relationships with NT women and he openly told me about how difficult it had been).

So what you have sounds ideal to me. It's actually a great thing that you share similar interests. One of the guys I was with had different interests, he was more extroverted and liked to go out...our mannerisms may have been similar (child-like, transparent, blunt, aloof, poor eye contact, socially awkward, etc)...but we enjoyed very different things.