Are there any HFA/ BPD match success stories?

Post Reply New Topic

I don't have much experience dating people with personality disorders, so I'm having some trouble knowing what to expect. My cultural exposure to BPD is Girl Interrupted and Troy on Community. It seems like in some ways they're more culturally invisible than we are, and information on the two neurotypes interacting with each other is virtually nonexistent.

My closest friend is BPD. You have to accept there is a good chance of them self harming, killing themselves, and just being extremely reckless in general. They can explode at the slightest thing. They usually don't have the best past. They might love you one minute and hate you the next. 10 percent of people with it die by suicide.

I dated one with it. It didn't go so well at all. There was no self harm or any suicidal behavior or any threats about it but there was the wreckless spending and wreckless plans and not following through, the splitting where he loved me and then acted like he hated me, the clumsiness and calling me self centered when things wouldn't go his way and the excessive crying, and then the discard when I wanted to break up with him. Also too many broken promises and procrastination and the lack of empathy and narcissistic behavior. But he appeared normal to everyone else and could hold a job and got along well with his co workers. Some don't display BPD to others except for those who are real close. I see it as a strange way of them showing love.

My girlfriend's mom probably has it from what my girlfriend says about her & my girlfriend may be borderline BPD(she thinks she is & it really wouldn't surprise me). I was diagnosed with that after my 1st relationship ended because I was extremely depressed & having a lot of problems due to being immature & bad anxiety & OCD. I don't think I would get the BPD diagnoses anymore thou cuz I grew from the experience & am on anxiety & OCD meds thou I still have some issues. I'm an Aspie & my girlfriend is probably on the spectrum herself. We both have anxiety, OCD & depression along with other mental stuff on top of all this thou so it's kind of hard to look at the BPD by itself. We both like being supportive within a relationship or at least try to be. My girlfriend can get upset pretty easily sometimes for lots of reasons & I do my best to be symptomatic & supportive but she sometimes takes things out on me alot; she says she can get pretty b!tchy. Sometimes she blames me for things & I get mad & we start an argument. Sometimes we both think that the other would be better off in a relationship with someone else. She has a really hard time expressing her wants sometimes but that may be cuz of the way she was raised. She was brought up being told that if she asks for anything it makes others not want to give her what she wants because she's bugging them. She didn't get what she wanted by not asking/telling them either so she kind of learned it's better not to have wants so she wouldn't get disappointed. I have to ask her a lot what she wants or ask her a question that's worded different ways before I figure it out. She sometimes gets annoyed that I spend too much time with her but other times she wants me around & she has a hard time telling me which one she wants so I'm playing a guessing game or just end up doing what I want & hope she doesn't get upset. She used to hurt herself alittle but she hasn't done that much in a long time but she talks about how it would be better if she were dead because she finds life difficult due to her depression, anxiety, stress illness & other issues. She thinks she's a failure with life & society wants her dead because she's disabled. I try my best to reassure her but really s#ck at it sometimes.