Troubling

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I'm 15, and I just couldn't take the...frustration anymore, yet I'm not allowed to go on any dating sites, which isn't a huge concern except that I'd like to make a connection if I were to do so, and lying for whatever reason is not the way to start that. So I just set up a profile on alt.com, which is a leading site in this sort of thing. I'd like companionship, but I'm just too lonely and I want it to stop so I figured maybe I'd go try this to see if it makes me feel less lonely and less wanting of companionship that is not there. I'm so confused, part of me thinks I found a solution and part of me thinks I just opened up a shedload of problems.

What's your hurry? Have a long chat with your logical side regarding that subject.

Also, that site looks questionable and creepy, IMHO. You're worth more than that--don't degrade yourself in the pursuit of love, ever.

6 months and you suddenly return subatai?

Oh, you would.

I'll try to start frequenting the boards more often, but I'm always in some of the lesser chatrooms. Also, I'm fully aware that the site is kind of strange. My sexual preferences are kind of strange as well. I wish I didn't have to do things like this, but I'm just so lonely. I need companionship, but I'd kill for a quick fix, and this might be a quick fix.

You don't have to. Loneliness is an emotion, not an imperative command to seek companionship in whatever form easiest to grab. I know you'll probably disregard what I say, but you sound like a very intelligent and interesting person and it makes me sad to see people like you heading down that trail. Quick fixes aren't good for anybody at all.

I'm not going to disregard you, I hate when people disregard me. It bothers me. Unfortunately, my mind forces me to do s**t sometimes. It's all very complicated and confusing, but my mind tends to be that way; I'm most likely insane. I just can't take it anymore; my hormones are going crazy and I don't know any females nearby similar to me, and I've yet to get to know a female face to face nearly as smart as I am(I'm a 15 year old shut in without anything else than my intelligence and my massive ego, I will thus openly flaunt both), and it's just frustrating. If I saw anything better, I'd take it, but right now I'm just frustrated. I go through these phases where I have an insatiable need for companionship for a couple weeks every 6 months or so(the need only qualifies as insatiable as I cannot sate it), and it always turns my life into a living hell until it disappears for some reason. Usually I have an on again, off again girlfriend that helps with these kind of things, but she's gone now, so I have no idea what to do, so I came to the need for a quick fix. Maybe it won't help anything, but I search for reasons not to try and I can't find any.