Chance to flirt

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09 Oct 2017, 10:49 am

I've seen this guy a couple of times now. He seemed really crazy about me at the start, and kinda cooled off a little over the weeks (which i guess is normal). I'm pretty sure he's not ASD, but he doesn't seem NT either (probably some variant of neuroatypical).

Anyway, he was like playfully teasing me, but I gave him a totally serious straight up answer. He actually went so far as to explain that he was joking. I feel like such a dolt for inadvertently rejecting his advances. OTL

I'm really hoping i didn't blow it. How long do guys usually keep trying before they give up?

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Closet Genious
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09 Oct 2017, 10:54 am

First time I get a negative reaction, or sense that the girl is uninterested I stop.

magz
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09 Oct 2017, 11:02 am

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:

I'm really hoping i didn't blow it. How long do guys usually keep trying before they give up?

Depends on how seriously they think about that individual woman, I believe. Can you still have contact as friends? If so and you find out you like each other, new chances may come.

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that1weirdgrrrl
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09 Oct 2017, 11:20 am

Closet Genious wrote:

First time I get a negative reaction, or sense that the girl is uninterested I stop.

This is what i was afraid of

kraftiekortie
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09 Oct 2017, 11:52 am

Maybe contact him again, and suggest going out for coffee or something.

That'll get the ball rolling, that's for sure.....

Closet Genious
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09 Oct 2017, 11:53 am

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:

Closet Genious wrote:

First time I get a negative reaction, or sense that the girl is uninterested I stop.

This is what i was afraid of

Nothing to be afraid of. Just re initiate the flirting with him, so he knows you're actually interested.

The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Oct 2017, 1:02 pm

Quote:

Anyway, he was like playfully teasing me, but I gave him a totally serious straight up answer. He actually went so far as to explain that he was joking. I feel like such a dolt for inadvertently rejecting his advances. OTL

What was the joke exactly? Censoring this info isn't helpful for you.

Embla
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09 Oct 2017, 1:11 pm

It's different from person to person.
I've encountered guys who just won't give up, and guys who can take a "No" the first time.

The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Oct 2017, 1:53 pm

Embla wrote:

It's different from person to person.
I've encountered guys who just won't give up, and guys who can take a "No" the first time.

and guys like me who give up on the slightest first sign of disinterest.

ShyGirl7
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09 Oct 2017, 2:24 pm

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:

So you rejected him, but you actually liked him, and now you want to be with him?

Was there an Autistic reason for rejecting him and not telling him you liked him?

What was your reasoning?

Thanks.

jrjones9933
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09 Oct 2017, 2:28 pm

If you want to flirt more, start. If you want to get together, you could return his favor in explaining himself by explaining yourself in broad strokes.

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that1weirdgrrrl
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09 Oct 2017, 2:48 pm

Quote:

So you rejected him, but you actually liked him, and now you want to be with him?

Yes

Quote:

Was there an Autistic reason for rejecting him and not telling him you liked him?

Yes, i didn't realize what was happening until after the fact. I'm slightly daft when it comes to subtlety and cues.

Quote:

What was your reasoning?

Thanks.

I didn't have any logical reasoning. It was more like i missed the cue, realized it later, then regretted it.

jrjones9933
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09 Oct 2017, 2:53 pm

^Can I say that in practical terms, any aspie can make that same mistake. The social context makes it different for men and women.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Oct 2017, 3:06 pm

You're really weird, that1weirdgrrrl.

jrjones9933
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09 Oct 2017, 3:17 pm

I also like people who own it.

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ShyGirl7
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09 Oct 2017, 3:36 pm

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:

Quote:

So you rejected him, but you actually liked him, and now you want to be with him?

Yes

Quote:

Was there an Autistic reason for rejecting him and not telling him you liked him?

Yes, i didn't realize what was happening until after the fact. I'm slightly daft when it comes to subtlety and cues.

Quote:

What was your reasoning?

Thanks.

I didn't have any logical reasoning. It was more like i missed the cue, realized it later, then regretted it.

Thank you for the information. We have a lot in common. :heart:

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