Do we tend to over analyze people we're dating?

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cato4797
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10 Oct 2017, 5:04 pm

Do we tend to over analyze people who we're dating? I dated this person over the summer whom I was able to have lots of fun with in person. But she also had a habit of dumping things on me (like things from her past), such as having visions, and cutting herself, and other stuff (although some of it I told her to go ahead and tell me before she did).

Also, I found out at one point that in her past she'd had a lot of friends believe because she was depressed and they thought she was pretending for attention — and that to some extent made me question things that she told me about herself (I dismissed it cuz i assumed it was me over analyzing due to AS). Sound familiar?

And I feel like maybe I over-analyzed a lot of it, because when we're trying to be friends later on, I didn't think about any of this stuff at all. Didn't factor in it all. Is that normal for us?



hurtloam
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12 Oct 2017, 4:34 pm

I think it's normal to think seriously about what you're taking on in a relationship. It's a closer pairing than just being friends.

These were some serious issues you were confronted with. It wasn't like you were overanalysing her eyebrows or teeth, which would be petty; you weren't distracted by analysing and focussing on little things.

This was a decision about whether you could handle a long term intimate relationship with someone who needs a lot of support.

I don't think you were overreacting.