TOS Reminder

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While we understand that many members here have had very frustrating dating (or non-dating) experiences, and that such experiences can lead them to make negative generalizations about the gender involved, Wrong Planet has rules that prohibit any remarks that can be deemed sexist or that make negative generalizations about all members of a gender:

1. Posting offensive language, comments, video, or images.
Unacceptable content includes swearing; racist, sexist, homophobic language; behavior intended to provoke or belittle other members; violent or sexually demeaning content; sexual fetish; and discussion of excretory function. Posting graphic images or videos of people or animals being harmed is prohibited.

This should be a forum where both men and women can be comfortable trying to figure out what is going on in their lives. Generalizations along the lines of "all women are shallow" or "all men are jerks" interfere with that, and are offensive to the members of the gender mentioned. Please be careful to NOT make conclusions or statements that extend beyond your personal experience and the particular people involved.

NOTE: while the above was posted when I was an active moderator and still stands as appropriate guidance despite my retirement, I have no authority to resolve current disputes among members.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 26 Jun 2013, 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The biggest issues I found with those threads is that it drew attention away from the threads that dealt with legitimate advice.

Is "Lot of women are b*****s" okay and "most men are jerks or "most men are pigs?"

Surely that would be generalizing?!?

I say "lot" "most" and "some" so that way I am not talking about all men and women. I think it be clear to literal thinkers.

I realise that and personally couldn't care less about those phrases being used. However, the TOS mentioned above says no outright sexism but also no generalizing either sex.
Saying most, lots, many, predominantly, majority, etc, would all therefore contravene said rule!

Although I personally don't mind their use, it can appear a bit of a cop out when they are used. 'I'm not actually sexist, I can't be if I'm ambiguous enough to opt out a minimum of only 1 person'. This doesn't mean I don't talk in this manor - I'm purely interpreting the terms.

The reason sexism runs rampant on this forum is that people don't want to think about the possibility that they are the problem. Take my case, for instance. I know that all but one woman have dismissed me out of hand (and the one that accepted reversed her decision shortly after). On one hand, I could just go around insisting that the entire female gender is <insert conspiracy theory here>. But a far more rational answer is that there is a problem with me, rather than the women. I know its not my weight because people much heavier than me have no problems with women. I know it's not my lack of money because there are completely broke men (that aren't going for college degrees either) with girlfriends as well. It's not any discerning criteria I have that's automatically screening women out either, as I'll pretty much accept any woman that would actually want to be with me. So unless someone has a better explanation, the only conclusion I can find is that I am unlovable...

Even "lots" and "most" are still broad generalizations, especially if you're not exactly someone who goes out of your way to meet new people of different backgrounds every day. I personally prefer the word "some," and if I use "lots" or "most" I try to be more specific in my sentence. I also prefer to insult individuals rather than the majority of a certain group.

Examples:
- Instead of saying "Most men are married," I say: "Most men I know who are between the ages of 25 and 35 are married (or in some kind of a committed relationship)."
- Instead of saying "All the black people I know are stupid," I say: "A lot of people I know are stupid, and if you find yourself focusing on the black people you're probably a racist who should get over yourself and/or be burned at the stake."

This is not me trying to be PC, this is me trying to be more accurate in my wording.

That's what I am trying to do too, not being all PC. I don't want to lump men and women into a catagory so I use "lots" or "some." So that way I am not talking about all of them because I know not all of them are like that. I thought saying all women or all men would be generalizing. No matter how accurate I try to be with my wording, people will still get upset or take them out of context. Sometimes I feel "Why do I even bother?"

meh...you don't have to remind us about ToadOfSteel.....he's always out there....

ROFL, that was, of course, Terms of Service reminder.

League_Girl, the problem with saying "most men" or "most women" is that none of us know, on a personal level, "most" of the women or men out there. For some generalizations that little detail can be overlooked, but when making a hurtful generalization you do need to be more precise. Plus, since people are usually posting conclusions driven by personal experience, they should also be allowing for the fact they may be seeing things wrong.

I think an acceptable sentence, to voice a generalized gender frustration, would be: "It seems like most of the men I know are jerks." At least it allows room for the generalization to not (a) be accurate even with the group mentioned, and (b) not apply beyond the people the one person has come in contact with.

It seems like most of the cockroaches I know are repulsive. I haven't met most cockroaches, so I better not comment on them.

I know one troll who constantly breaks these rules but is still roaming free. I reported said troll to the mods via PM ages ago only to be told off for it. I still see his blatant trolling everywhere in this section.

Mind sorting it out? I'm sure some other members know the guy I'm talking about.

A troll being defined as someone whose opinions you don't agree with.

A troll being defined as someone who posts utter crap for the sole purpose of creating drama.

Don't get defensive, I'm not even referring to you.

But what if someone was just speaking their mind and they weren't doing it to create drama but people get upset with their views anyway? Does that still make them a troll?

(Honestly I don't know what you're talking about)