Why can't fat women on dating sites grasp the fact

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I strength train 3x per week, have a good diet, plus I do a lot of walking (as well as the odd venture on my mountain bike at weekends depending on weather). I put this on my dating profile to be seen and read. One common trend I notice among the fat women is they don't seem to grasp that you NEED to be of average weight or healthy-looking weight in order to get a reply from a average-looking guy who looks after his weight like myself. Yes, there are exceptions of normal/healthy weight men with huge fat women out in public. However, chances are, if someone works their ass off for 45 minutes, 3x per week to look after their weight & health, they are going to expect the same kind of effort from a potential partner. We aren't looking for a couch potato, love.

Why can't most fat women grasp this?

Do they think because I'm not facially model-looking, tall and "hawt" they got a chance with me? Like I'm desperate or something?

Why can’t men grasp this isn’t a fact.

A better question :Why don't they grasp the fact that MySpace-style selfie pics don't fool guys anymore?

Above head selfies, cut-edge pics, very close-up pics...all these won't change the reality when the guy meets you for real.

This thread busts 2 myths:

-Any woman can get a date on a dating site.
-Working out gets you laid.

The first one is not a myth. Fat women can still get dates from dating sites.

It is a fact for many, many men. I only get messages from fats and I'm pretty damn tired of it. These women are enormous and it clearly says in my profile I look after my weight. Why can't they take that as a hint?

It must of been years since a healthy woman contacted me first on a dating site. It's like a unicorn appearing from the mists on the grounds of a Welsh castle at 6am in the morning. Pre-2007 I used to get at least 1 to 2 healthy weight woman a month message me. Now I get nothing going on for years. Why have things changed in 10 years? I certainly haven't got uglier.

I'm thinking fat women DO get many messages from healthy weight men, thus they begin to think they are attractive. Have men's standards dropped? Look here: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthre ... genumber=1

And here: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthre ... 091&page=1

It would seem so.

I just want to know whether guys should also get stricter with their standards or thin women should loosen up?

My build is like this. I'm not some ripped Adonis with 9% bodyfat, far from it. But I'm not fat.

I'll stop the snarky comments for a sec and chime in here.

When a person writes a dating profile and writes about their self they are doing exactly that. Unless they states so in their profile it is unreasonable to assume someone wants to date their doppelganger.

Someone could be thin but like curves. Or nerdy but likes someone who brings them out of their shell.

Opposites attract is not a cliche without reason. Add t that people aren't mind readers, plus their sense of self worth vary from person to person. That is rarely within our control and isn't always determined by logic.

If you don't want to date a woman you would class as obese or fat then just say you like a girl that knows how to look after herself or wouldn't mind a gym buddy. See, that's not so hard is it!

TL;DR - To reduce the number of people messaging you you don't want, tell the people what you do want.

This is a bad idea though, because I came across a lot of women who view themselves as overweight but they aren't.

Wow, some of the people on that thread you linked are absolutely appalling!

Perhaps you could mention in your profile that you're looking for women who are into keeping fit?

Because if you put down "I only date thin women" then cue a barrel load of hate mail and zero invites to chat from anybody.

These women will send hate messages and tell you things like "your nothing special yourself!" or "No wonder your alone". It's as though they believe you think your gods gift to women (when I don't think that all) and they believe all healthy weight females are special.

It maybe sour grapes and mate guarding. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_guarding_in_humans

By shaming men that do like thin women, they are guarding the women that are thin whilst also trying to make themselves feel better about being fat... or a former fatty. I dunno. Females are complex.

Besides, I don't just work out for dating. I had a health problem last year and needed statins and thyroid medication.

Seems like you glossed over the part where you can make subtle hints which aren't offensive.

You can ask for someone who isn't stupid by saying you'd ideally want someone to discuss [insert intellectual topic here] with. Same as you can avoid an unhealthy date by asking for someone who likes to do the same training regimes as you or a gym buddy. Tell them what you do want, but not in such a harsh way.

They still read any guy that wants a gym female or health conscious female partner as "NOT ATTRACTED TO FAT WOMEN" and you rustle the hatred in them.

Maybe its just British females.

Perhaps these women have a point when you say things like that!

My advice isn't unreasonable, and you're eventually going to have people initiate contact with you you aren't interested in. That's all a part of dating, and it isn't exactly hard to reject people in a humane fashion or, avoid responding to them altogether.

You talk about mate safeguarding and how you'd receive a lot of hate for specifying what your personal wants are, but if I'm honest the problem isn't an external one. The way you've spoken about women here ... just be glad those girls on OKC or POF haven't found your WP profile yet. There's more to life than looks. There are women that will want the physique you've aimed to achieve (whether that was a personal goal or not), but not always at the expense of being spoken about like in this thread.

Totally agree with TheSpectrum there.