What do you think of this statement?

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What do you think of this statement "There is somebody out there for everybody".

I remember at times I would feel down about my dateless and relationshipless (is that a word?) status. My mom would always tell me, "SweetPraline, there is somebody out there for everybody".

I would disagree with this statement because I don't feel that this applies to aspies. And not just aspies, I don't think it applies to anyone who has been an outcast and ostracized their whole life.

The main issue I have with this is that I am looking for, basically, an opposite-sex version of myself.

Tim

No. But for ALMOST everyone. There are
some people who are really unlikely to
find someone - either due to high
expectations, or because they are
just so terribly handicapped.

I once saw a man who was severely
ret*d, and had the most hideous
face imaginable. I doubt that he was
likely to find anyone. Maybe I'm wrong
though.

I'm thinking that some people are destined to remain single for all their life. But if that's the case, they will be more able to devote their time and energy into whatever it is they do. (like for some Christians, if they aren't married, it is sometimes easier to serve God wholeheartedly). And sometimes that person may only find their perfect someone when they are older, or maybe that person will give wholeheartedly to helping others or developing a cure for something. I don't know, but I have my doubts that there's someone out there for everyone.

they should develop a cure for love

There are people out there for most, not all, people. This is common sense given the size of the world's population. The problem is meeting.

Your mom calls you SweetPraline?

I think the statement is bull, and people say it just to make people feel better. Same with "Everything happens for a reason." And "God has a plan."

I agree because there are always good people out there!

For the most part I agree with the statement but sometimes I wonder.

I voted no.

In one sense I do agree. Specifically I think that your reasoning is mistaken, sweetpraline. There are very few people in the world who are too weird or distasteful to have a significant other. People who mope about, saying, "I'm too (whatever) to interest anybody" are usually wrong.

But I voted "no", because:

1) I do not believe that it is preordained that we have one specific "soul mate" out there. There are many people who could conceivably be compatible with you, and (to an extent) you get to choose.

2) There are good reasons why one might voluntarily stay unmarried. For example, the reason squeeker cited.

3) There is a chance you might never come across someone who is good for you, even though they exist.

4) There is a chance that an individual might never develop sufficient maturity and wisdom to be able to maintain a loving relationship. Although I'd argue that these individuals compose about 50% of the world at present... and they do seem to try anyhow.

Your mom just wants you to know that there are people out there who would be interested in you, no matter how weird you believe yourself to be.

I would add that (chances are) you're not anywhere near as weird or unattractive as you think you are. We all get down on ourselves sometimes. If you truly are being ostracized and you don't like it, there are many things you can do to help your chances of being accepted and noticed by others.

I don't beleieve this statement. Since many people will be miserable no matter if they are with a person who is perfect for them.

It is basically a statment of hope, that is mostly meaningless.

It goes hand in hand with the concept of Soul Mates, and again gives people hope.

But I'd rather deal with the reality instead of these false hopes.

Also whenever someone tries to cheer me up with this sort of talk it always feels uncomfortable since I can't help put try to correct the ideas behind it.

But then at other times I think there are roughly the same number of women in the world as men so it can't be all that hard to find someone compatable... and perhaps it is true.

There must be people out there hogging all the women/men for the rest of us...

Last edited by Pugly on 03 Jun 2007, 12:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think there are many possibilities for everyone, you just have to meet one of them at the right time when you can connect.

I voted yes, there is somebody - I think many somebodies - out there for everyone. The trouble with that is its no guarantee that either party will know what's right for them, what they want, one or the other might get peevish about something the other did and it renders a bad first impression (usually the coupe de gras on anything really). That's saying that even if you do meet them and do talk to them, you still have to worry about being too nice, whether your talking too much or too little, passing all the seemingly arbitrary litmus tests, etc. Really its no assurance on your luck, just that you're probably better off looking at poor luck in the relationship world as an issue of natural law rather than there being no one out there who's right for you.

It's partially true. I really do believe that there's someone out there for me. But she could be all the way on the opposite end of the world, and I'm not willing to travel that far. So what I usually end up doing is settling for the first girl who shows interest in me. Sure, she's may not be what I'm looking for, but if she can provide me with companionship, sex, and some emotional support once in a while, that's all I need to be happy in a relationship.

I do think there is always plenty of hope, but I think you're right about the above.

And there are many many more who are slaves to their standards, know what they want in a world where self-imposed restrictions are a disadvantage, but they need to just in order to be able to look themselves in the mirror and be happy with where they're at. People also discriminate heavily on a persons looks, demeanor, presence, and if your personality is a good deal better than your presence it'll criss cross and cancel out your possibilities - ie. they people who'd be best for you will scorn you on first glance, the people who like you on first glance see your personality and have that reaction of "Oh, thought you were someone else".