Boyfriend = 10% human connection, 90% trophy

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You know what kind of mentality I'm talking about. Those girls who have their MySpace default pictures be of them kissing their boyfriends, and the words "THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND AND I LOVE HIM SO HANDS OFF" pasted somewhere else on their profile (even if they've only known each other for weeks). Those girls who are particularly loud on Valentine's Day, particularly adament about the Public Displays of Affection. (PDA's.) Those girls who find any possible excuse to mention (and possibly brag about) their boyfriends.

They're so bloody common.

Why is it so hard to find someone who genuinely is out for real human connection rather than somebody to show off?

I find girls like that incredibly irritating.

....and they grow up get married and do the same thing with their husbands. These are the ones that if your a woman...you make sure you don't slip and actually say hi to their husbands before you acknowledge their presence or they turn into savage Rottweilers and start to snarl at you....they usually are married to the men you couldn't pay me enough money in the world to ever want if they did happen to be single.

I don't grasp the jealousy thing.

Same thing here. That's what annoys me about St Valentine's day - it seems like a day made to brag (and for flower-sellers to make a killing, of course). I feel the same about families that make a huge, big deal about how loving they are on Christmass - so they can use the other 364 days in the year to hate each other?
Surely so much showing off shows, apart from shallowness, insecurity? I tend to find that couples thta don't brag about it are precisely the ones that still love each other a quarter of a century later.

Yeah, and i noticed some women care more for the trophy then for the damn connection.
Or maybe that's just my perception.

well yes, obviously i know what you are saying.
But you know these NTs are pre-occupied with 'social climbing', whatever that is - i dont really know
Same as some aspies get 'obsessed' with music or numbers or collecting whatever.
They can't really help it.

Social climbing is 'climbing up the social ladder'.
As they say, "You're who you hang out with".
So girls try to get the cool, handsome guys so they become more respected themselves, i understand that.
But what i don't understand is that they, as girls are the more sensitive and emotional of the 2 genders, can be so superficial that they engage in this social climbing.

hmm, reminds me a lot of several occasions with my ex

She would often say to other girls "you can't have him because he's mine" or something like that. In the early days she didn't tell too many lies, but later on she just had no regard for our relationship

There were times I felt that she didn't love me as much as she was implying she did and just wanted me there just for appearences sake

Why girls, even in my age group (I'm 25), seem to treat their boyfriends as just someone they can show off with I will never know

Sometimes I think that because I have so much trouble connecting with people, I really value the close relationships I do have, more so than people with normal social skills might. I guess maybe if you don't have that trouble, and you can form relationships easily, you might want to show off the fact that you can get someone who others might find desirable or who might inspire jealousy in others. They want to show off that they can have their pick of the litter. I don't really care what other people think of my relationships as long as I'm happy with them.

It's weird to me how much other people notice these things. It's also weird how they want to "see" who you are with in person. That's an odd concept to me. I find that if my husband is around, this is what happens with men and women. The first thing I hear is, "You are with HIM????" I'm not sure if that's because he's handsome or what. They always seem thrown and say he's not at all what they expected. Never fear. By the time they are around him for any length of time, that changes to "you are with him? I can't believe it. I never would have pictured you with someone like that." That's about the time they realize he's OCD and completely intolerant of their inane blabbering.

I never thought about him like a trophy. I can't picture anyone else getting along with him, to be frank and the same goes for me. Yes, I'm attracted to him, but let's be honest, I have to actually live with him so we have to be compatible. Why is that something to show off? I don't get that.

I also don't get the women who say, "If he's hot and has money, I'll be able to like him and get along." Yeah, right. Four months and a break up. That is what you call that.

My wife used to be so upset about the
idea of the opposite, being an arm decoration.
I think that I mostly managed to cure
her of that objection, both through my
vanity and the fact that she sometimes
would refer to me, in just those terms.

Hell, I'd take what I could get.
I'm pretty sure that most of
the girls who approach me only
do so for my looks, and the status
that I have. They know nothing
about me, except for the one
who discussed insanity with me
for a while.

Men and women do the same thing. It's status alone when it's a younger person. *I* have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Then it's what kind of boyfriend or girlfriend. Depending on what is important, that is what is sought.

People brag about anything. Even if it is an emotional connection. It doesn't have to be on looks or wealth.

People want others to know their standing. Including on this site. There are separate forums for married people. For singles. For young and old. For various hobbies, interests, work, school. WE are working. WE are young. WE are experienced. Each one having a status.

And, yeah, it is terribly distasteful to be unkind to others on Valentine's Day. I've seen that since I was old enough to know about Valentine's Day. Same kind of thing that goes on with material goods during the December holidays. "I got this".

Work? Yup. "I got a raise".

It's tiring. What if everyone was satisfied with what they have right now?

I think that's terrible. If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't even tell anyone unless they asked.