Do you think my views are sexist in this case?

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ironpony
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03 Dec 2017, 3:37 am

I've been told that I am too much about sex and not enough about pursuing serious relationships. But every time I pursue serious relationships with women they don't take me as such serious material. However, it's must easier to get sex than it is to get a relationship.

Almost every time I try to go on an actual date, I don't often get a second or third one. But I have no problem getting FWBs or flings.

So if I think of most women as only wanting one thing, which might come off as judgmental, the majority really only does want that one thing, at least from me.

So am I being sexist or judgmental for treating the it as such, if that's the case?



ZachGoodwin
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03 Dec 2017, 4:05 am

Mask your feelings on your next date. It's hard if she's hot, but you gotta mask them. Focus on all of the interesting personality traits you'll discover by getting to know her more.



fluffysaurus
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03 Dec 2017, 8:59 am

Hello

Do you think the person who said this was trying to help you or just judging you?

If you think they were trying to help then they may have meant that you come across as only interested in sex or that you are only asking out women who are only interested in sex. This might answer why that's all your getting. You didn't say whether you wanted a relationship or if you're happy with just the sex but don't like being thought sexist.

Might there be something about the women that you ask out that an NT would recognise as likely only interested in sex that you are unaware of? I can never tell if men are gay for example.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Dec 2017, 9:23 am

Why don’t you try to turn a fling into relationship? This worked for me with more than on girl... in fact, it is the only way that worked with me and the most effective.



kraftiekortie
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03 Dec 2017, 5:12 pm

I’ve tried that. It didn’t work for me.

The women I had flings with only wanted flings. They were just horny at the moment.

This is not a knock on women. Women are people, too. Some just want flings when they’re lonely, just like men. Most are looking for someone serious—but might get lonely and desirious for love.

Just like most men.



Terminus
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05 Dec 2017, 1:43 pm

It's much more common for women to have multiple men serving different emotional needs though.

It's not really a common thing for men to have multiple women. I'm not talking about the outlier players. I'm talking about average Joe.

It all comes down to the sexes having fundamentally different reproduction strategies.

Of course, if you don't think evolution is a thing, then... well make up whatever you want to make yourself feel better then.



modernmax
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06 Dec 2017, 6:21 am

Sounds to me like women literally only want one thing and it's f*****g disgusting...


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The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Dec 2017, 6:34 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I’ve tried that. It didn’t work for me.

The women I had flings with only wanted flings. They were just horny at the moment.

This is not a knock on women. Women are people, too. Some just want flings when they’re lonely, just like men. Most are looking for someone serious—but might get lonely and desirious for love.

Just like most men.


I have the opposite experience to that, all my past relationships started as sexual flings then evolved beyond into relationships.

When I tried your way, to date someone normally before anything sexual happens - this never worked, never passed the first date, in this way I often got rejected because they didn't feel chemistry, in my case - the most common case of rejection was my height (And I believe most subconsciously think that short men = have small penis). In these scenarios, the women had the upper hand, the date always felt like they're the employer who's interviewing me and judging me at every thing and I am just the job candidate.

But when I date someone whom I had a sexual contact with before, it's a totally whole different experience - in these cases I had the upper-hand as I was totally sure that the person I am dating is sexually attracted to me, those ones already know that I don't have a small penis :lol: - in other term they see me as a sexual being and as an adult sexually capable man and not as a boy- she won't be able to deny that, it was them who were trying to impress me, it was them who were expecting me to ask them question, It felt like I was the employer and them the job candidates, them the chasers and I am the chasee.....I will not deny it, this POWER feels good!! !



ironpony
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20 Dec 2017, 1:42 am

Oh okay, for me it's the opposite and the women who wanted flings, just wanted flings and couldn't be persuaded into a relationship.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Dec 2017, 7:11 am

I should go to Canada....



MagicKnight
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20 Dec 2017, 8:37 am

ironpony wrote:
So if I think of most women as only wanting one thing, which might come off as judgmental, the majority really only does want that one thing, at least from me.

So am I being sexist or judgmental for treating the it as such, if that's the case?


Hello.

Your views can be considered sexist by others but that's because people out there are in the wrong mindset. You have your own experiences and your own conclusions, which mean no harm to anyone and you shouldn't feel insecure about that. Don't let people put you down. Prepare yourself to live in a world in which people listen less and care less about a message from their neighbours, because those people think that they are the messages themselves. They don't want to understand your point, all they are looking is for short triggering words so that they can vomit their pathetic speeches and point their fingers at everyone else, feeling like they are so superior to everything.

So, you're casually banging a lot of women out there? Amazing! Congrats, chief. If your girls have no complaints, you shouldn't mind anyone else. They don't talk engagement, you don't talk engagement: perfect world.

Cheers.



hale_bopp
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21 Dec 2017, 5:41 am

For me personally, I only ever want flings with people I would never want a relationship with. Sex and relationships are completely separate and men to me are in the sex category, the friendship category or none. I have never once met a man who I wanted for both. Are they out there? Probably if I made an effort to look harder.

If I ever meet the elusive relationship category, it would be an interesting experience.



magz
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21 Dec 2017, 6:43 am

I don't see any views in what you describe, just expiriences.
You seem to attract women interested in casual sex, not the ones interested in deep relationships.
Are you comfortable with this? If so, then enjoy! If not - well, I guess it hurts.


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ironpony
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29 Dec 2017, 7:00 pm

Well I kind of wish I could attract ones interested in serious relationships, but my experiences, make me see that women seem to mostly want casual sex relationships from me.



honeymiel
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29 Dec 2017, 10:29 pm

ironpony wrote:
Well I kind of wish I could attract ones interested in serious relationships, but my experiences, make me see that women seem to mostly want casual sex relationships from me.


Yeah, this is the part that stands out to me. I don't think that has anything to do with women in general. Most women/people do want something more substantial and fulfilling than a casual sex relationship. In my opinion/experience, women seeking casual sex relationships usually do WANT a real relationship, but they lack the skills/confidence and knowledge of themselves and their preferences to seek out and develop romantic relationships. Thus, they tend to attract (or be attracted to) men with a similar lack of relationship-building experience. And when you don't know what you're doing, it's easy to not take things seriously - or for others not to take you seriously

In social settings, like attracts like significantly more often than opposites attracting. Thus, I would be looking at yourself and what image and persona you're projecting when you date. This is probably the biggest clue as to what is causing you to meet certain women and not others

If you're looking for a more substantial relationship, say that early on, so at least if you find a woman who doesn't entirely know what she's doing but wants what you want, you can figure it out as you go.



starkid
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29 Dec 2017, 11:05 pm

What is the point of generalizing your experience to women you've never even met? You don't have to have this opinion at all so I don't see why you're even bothering to ask if it's sexist.

No, it isn't sexist. It's just an over-generalization.