Was I foolish for letting this opportunity slip?

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On valentine's day 2014 I was in a nightclub with some friends of mine.

These 2 girls came up too me and started touching my face and one of them said "My friend really fancies you do you want too Dance with her?" I just stood there awkward, nervous and quiet and they walked away from me.

I am now 28 never had a proper girlfriend or had sex but do you think I was very stupid for letting that opportunity slip? Since then a girl has not said too my face that they fancy me.

Bear in my mind that I am very outgoing and go too clubs regurley a woman has not said they have fancied me since.

Let us keep it short. No. "Opportunities" like this can have many possible outcomes, but at least 3 outcomes can be very serious: an STD (sexually transmitted disease) or rape charges or a serious beating from a jealous boyfriend.

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Do women do this too get there boyfriends jealous?

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Do women do this too get there boyfriends jealous?

As someone who used to be in the club lifestyle, I must say that while those are possible outcomes, I think its a little extreme to not miss out on a potentially fun and positively life-changing experience out of fear. Also, just because X person fancies you doesn't mean you have to have sex with her. Who knows, you could've ended up smoking joints and having a few drinks and making some friends (who probably also have more cute girlfriends).

With that being said, I met my ex-girlfriend in a semi-similar situation to that. I was performing at a show -- after I performed, my now ex and one of her friends came up to me in a similar manner. I ended up naked in a hot tub with her and we hooked up later that night -- wear a condom if you're worried about STDs. We started seeing each other after that and it blossomed into a relationship that occurred during a period of my life that I would consider one of the only times I have truly been happy. We embarked on lots of journeys and had lots of experiences together that I probably never would've experienced if I hadn't taken that chance that night. Obviously it wasn't all good, hence why she's my ex, but we both did things that sabotaged the relationship. Ultimately she moved to another part of the country and that is that. Still, I don't remotely regret it. She's still my friend and hooks me up with cool opportunities or people when I pass through her area.

Now, were you stupid for letting that opportunity slip? I don't think so, but more than anything that's because you were feeling however you were feeling that night. There's nothing to gain out of regretting missed chances. If you think it is something you might've liked, you know how you might like to react if a similar situation arises in the future.

A situation like that may not arise again because........

1. In 2015 I had my face a bit messed up doing boxing

2. 14-24 is peak of attractiveness and I am now 28 so you get my point

Sort of. You aren't that much older than me. Keep in mind, those situations are pretty rare for most men.. so you might have to make the approach yourself.. and trust me I know how hard that can be. But -- Rock the ruggedness my dude & keep up the outgoing energy. There's plenty of women that dig that, but if you let your mind tell you otherwise, they're gona look right past you. And at least around where I live, I notice the guys older than me tend to get along better with women. Probably something about looking like they have their s**t together and not getting quite as trashed as the younger dudes.

Also, like I said before, you don't necessarily have to look at it from a "looking for a hookup/romantic partner" standpoint, in fact I would recommend against that unless someone is obviously interested in you & you in them. Having women as friends is awesome. I think hanging with lady friends is more fun than with my male friends. Also, my most successful time in my life with meeting women was when I had lots of female friends already, as their friends had time to recognize the things I excel at and could look past my quirks cuz I was already friends with their friend.

This happened 3 years ago, and....
Stop looking for love in bars.

Many women happen to fancy older men.

That "peak attractiveness" thing you mentioned is a bunch of rubbish.

Club =/= bar

More or less.

Obsessing over missed opportunities is foolish. Forget about it and move on.

A "bar" is frequently less than a "club" in the US. Many times, bars only have a few booths, a central "bar" area, and a jukebox. Especially what are called "Irish" or "old man" bars.

A "club" in the US always has at least one place where people can dance.

Exactly. And at least where I live, there are many clubs that host counter-culture events that aren't full of "bro-ey" type people. These events are usually attended by open-minded people who don't really give a damn who you are as long as you are kind and respectful and will celebrate you if you are having a damn good time.

It was 3 years ago, let it go. I wouldn’t recommend hookups from clubs. I lost my virginity this way and it was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.