How can I show more emotion?

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mikeman7918
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21 Feb 2018, 5:38 pm

As some of you know for a few months I've been in a long distance relationship with forum user Lillikoi. I have Alexithymia so I kind of suck at recognizing and showing emotion which has become a bit of a problem. My dad had the same problem in his marriage and that went down in flames.

I don't know what to do... When Lillikoi rants to me about something I usually just silently listen because I have no idea what to say. He also says that he gets the vibe that I don't care about him even though I do. It's become a big problem and I promised that I would do everything I can to fix it but I don't even know where to start.

Is this something anyone else here has dealt with? I could really use some advice.


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kraftiekortie
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21 Feb 2018, 9:44 pm

Have you experienced what Lillikoi has experienced? Put yourself in Lillikoi's shoes, if you've experienced things like Lillikoi has experienced.

What does he "rant" about frequently?



nick007
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22 Feb 2018, 5:49 am

Maybe it'll help to do little things throughout the day to show him you love him. Like call him a pet name, tell him you love him at random times without being prompted or anything, get online or on your phone at a time you normally wouldn't & send him a message when he has something going on. Little things like this are how I compensate.


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mikeman7918
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23 Feb 2018, 3:51 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Have you experienced what Lillikoi has experienced? Put yourself in Lillikoi's shoes, if you've experienced things like Lillikoi has experienced.

What does he "rant" about frequently?

His rants are usually about school and his parents.

We have talked about this whole thing a bit and really I was kind of overreacting because I was having an anxiety attack. It’s the kind of thing where I read what I wrote the next morning and wonder why I reacted like that.

nick007 wrote:
Maybe it'll help to do little things throughout the day to show him you love him. Like call him a pet name, tell him you love him at random times without being prompted or anything, get online or on your phone at a time you normally wouldn't & send him a message when he has something going on. Little things like this are how I compensate.

Those are some good ideas, I’ll try to remember to do stuff like that.


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bobaspie2015
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23 Feb 2018, 4:16 am

mikeman7918 wrote:
I don't know what to do... When Lillikoi rants to me about something I usually just silently listen because I have no idea what to say.


It is a wonderful attribute that you have, that is listening.
Have you thought about explaining to Lillikoi that you have no idea what to say?
I have times when I rant and go on and on, my boyfriend just sits and listens, and that is good.