Need some help with a first date!! !

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Hey guys, havent posted in years. Anyways I got another girls number from pof, been trying to figure out what to do about it. I know I need to ask her on a date, she would be down but I dont have the balls to do it...

Quick backstory, I get girls numbers pretty regularly at bars, on dating sites ect. I've spent most of my 20s intensely working on fitness/style/looks in an effort to boost confidence and get some attention from women. But every single time I pull a number, I blow them off on purpose. I think about it, put it off, think about it some more, and then decide I'm too afraid to do anything, tell myself I'm not ready yet or some other BS. Pretty pathetic, thing is everytime it happens I feel worse and worse for wasting the opportunity. I look well above average, tall, have plenty of money, If I wasnt such a coward I could get a girlfriend. Its happened several times now where I had a girl in my bed and my dick just wont get hard because I'm so nervouse (all the drugs and alcohal probably doesnt help) so I'm at a point where I feel like failure is eminent, the end game is sex, and I'm not capable. After this many years of rejection and failure with the opposite sex I will admit my outlook on women in general is very negetive, I've never had a positive experience or any connection with a girl. The girls these days move so quickly to sex and I'm just not comfortable doing that with a complete sranger, so the only time I can ever have sex is when im out of my mind f****d up. And the instances where I try to put off sex till later, they invariably dissapear. All I'm looking for is a nice girl I can get along with, but it feels like an impossible goal. So thats my mindset and where im coming from just for reference i guess...

I'm just looking for advice on what a good first date and how to set it up. She gave me her number quickly and texts me back instantly, and I dont know what I'm supposed to send her. I feel like I should just set up the date and wait to talk in person as I am no good with text conversations. Are you supposed to have some small talk via text first or what??? I was thinking a bar meetup is the safest option, definitely not dinner and coffe shops make me way more nervous then bars... She lives nearby, Should I pick her up or is just meeting at the location considered more normal? How long should a first meetup last? I'm absolutely terrified of the idea of a formal meet up with a complete stranger that seems intersted in me. I'm almost 30 and have never been on a "date". Its got me all f****d up and I dont want to let these girls keep slipping through my fingers. Its getting to the point where people are begining to speculate that I'm gay...

Any input is appreciated, Thanks.

Should I pick her up or is just meeting at the location considered more normal?

Standard advice is to each arranage your own transport and meet there. If things were to take an unexpectedly bad turn, not having your own transport could make things worse.

How long should a first meetup last?

Every single one I've had, we just hung out until we decided we were done
Just play it by ear. If you're enjoying yourselves keep hanging, if she says she has to go end it, if you're not enjoying it end it.

Just treat her like a new friend that you are getting to know. Try to enjoy the experience regardless of whether or not she wants to see you again after.

Best of luck!

ps. you a greenday fan?

Well have you told these women you aren't comfortable having sex so soon? I myself had a lot of disappointing 'dates' with guys because they pretty much just ended up being in it for the sex when I wanted a relationship...it got to be a pattern of meet a guy, have sex on the first meet up and then have them lose interest or express they were never really interested in anything serious with me. So finally I decided to put end to that and told the guy who I am still with 3 years later that I wanted to wait till we got to know each other better before having sex due to those experiences....I was certainly rather nervous to say that but at that point I was so done with getting led on I figured if he had a problem with that he wouldn't be worth it. Still did not take long till we did...but then the fact he was understanding and respected that certainly made me more comfortable going that far.

You have to just make yourself do it. Do you actually want a girlfriend? Maybe you’re better off without one.

Women these days as a general consensus are quite slu*ty, blame the media for that. Unfortunately, it’s also what a lot of girls think guys want. There are plenty of non slu*ty ones around though.

If it’s me, when I text a guy to do something, I just say, “lets do something this weekend. I will pick you up/meet you there” and leave the ball in their court. I don’t ask them if they want to, that’s a closed question that often goes nowhere. I lay a proposal down on the table.

I did it to a guy at work today. No BS, let’s do something, let’s do it on this day, here is what will happen. Are you in?” Easy.

Don’t beat yourself up too much. But do seriously think about whether you actually want it.