I am afraid my boyfriend will leave

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I try to be a good girlfriend as often as I can, and I realize that most times I probably am. The problem is that I feel my boyfriend is going to leave because I am the way I am.

I enjoy doing the same things over and over, and I don't really enjoy spending time with others than him (simply because I have no other friends). His best friend and I (he is also autistic) got into a big dispute because he wouldn't validate that i got angry, and he still is angry at me even though I was forced to apologize by him. I feel like i am going to ruin everything so that he will not want to be with me.

He loves me over everything in the world, and it might just be me that has a tonne of anxiety - but I feel like he has a way better time if he is with other people than me; even though he says he loves being with me. I dont really know what to do, because I love him endlessly. I dont ever want him to leave.

I can understand your anxiety.

But I don't sense that he will leave you any time soon.

I don't know why, but that answer actually helped a lot. Thank you, I think I really just needed someone to listen.

I might love somebody, and think somebody is "my world."

However, it is healthy, within that love, to enjoy being with other people, too.

It's unhealthy when you are don't feel you should be friends with somebody other than your beloved.

It's not as much that i dont want to be with somebody else as that nobody wants to be with me

Why do you feel that way?

He certainly wants to be with you.

But I know the feeling. I've felt that way, too.

Because I've been bullied since i started school. I dont have any friends except for people on the internet, and whenever i try to make friends nobody wants to talk to me. I feel alone in this big world.

I felt exactly the same way when I was 17.

Things will get better.

I had no friends. And I commuted 1 1/2 hours each way to school every day. And I was chased quite often by bullies from my subway station to my home.

It wasn't a nice time. This is why I can relate to what you say.

Thank you for sharing this with me. Does it really get better?

It got better, pretty much, after I got a job and moved away from my mother.

I am nearly a decade older than you, but I remember my high school years very well. High school is hell for most kids compared to what comes after - and it can be particularly tough if you have ASD because high school is where teenagers focus most of their energy on social development.

A few things you should know...

1) People bully you because they are afraid of things they don't understand - differences. Ever heard of Aesop's fable 'The Fox and the Grapes'? - it's easier to exclude or criticise things you aren't good at (or people you don't understand), rather than admit that you have shortcomings. That's why they bully
2) Focus on the things you are good at. You do want to learn some social skills, that is very important. But don't be afraid to spend most of your time developing other talents. That's what will earn you friends and respect later on
3) Try to practice some self-compassion. It makes you a better person overall, when you are gentler on yourself you can be more understanding of other people
4) It is possible to worry a relationship to death. So you want to try and focus on doing the things that make you both happy. Has your boyfriend said that he is bored or wants to try new things?

I think you'd be overall happier if you were able to try and make some friends so you have people to balance you out and you won't spend all your time worrying about your boyfriend. Can you think of any ways you might be able to meet people who share your interests or personality type?
I know it's easier to play it safe and stick to what you know (especially if you have anxiety), but there are other people who are in the exact same boat as you and would appreciate a friend who is kind and understanding

Joint activities are a great way to make friends. School is too, even if you just sit next to the same person and help them with schoolwork (or ask for help)

If he loves you I don't think he would ever want to leave you. He must see something good in you.