Do we have any kinda competitive edge against N.t

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As the topic states do we have any kinda competitive edge against Neurotypical

From observation, research, and life i find:

Its the guys with super muscles that can bench press a bus, a "package that has the same stats as most salami, or bad boy with tats that get the girl.

Meanwhile the meek, brainy, sensative empathetic types ( learned it in therapy). The long term, long haul types get over looked and forgotten

Forsaken

When we do come in handy ive observed is to single moms, women in there late 30s, into 40s, desperate, etc.

I find it sad....
Anyone wanna comment?
Concer, agree, disagree

Unfortunetaly you're right.. And I really really wish that aspie guys would stop selling themselves short like this.. If an aspie guy goes through his teenage years, and young adulthood being completely ignored, and maybe even despised by women, and his prize by the end of it, is to provide for some 30-40 year old woman, who's already got kids, and spent her best years screwing idiots, he should quite frankly buy a dog instead.

It annoys me so much I cannot even begin to describe it.

Btw, besides the fact that it's pretty much impossible to benchpress a bus, there's not reason why an aspie could not build muscle mass. In fact I might even think aspergers is an advantage, because I know for myself that I prefer having some structure to the way I eat, and this helped me get really lean, and build some muscle.

We have more focus on certain things.

Many inventors in the past were at least somewhat "Aspie," and had an all-abiding focus on the tasks on hand.

(Don't worry: no "retrospective diagnoses here"---just speculation).

Many of them were "problematic" in a social sense. The key, really, was to be "good enough" socially to attract assistants and to disseminate ideas.

Albert Einstein might have been "awkward" in many ways---but he was also charming and witty, and was able to attract women quite well even before he was famous.

I started preferring type B in my mid-twenties. I guess I'm nearly late-thirties now so it's been over a decade since I stopped seeing the appeal in "bad boys". And even back then, I didn't seek them out exclusively.

So if you're open to dating the neurodiverse yourself, I'd say that's where you may be more likely to find exceptions to your observation.

Yeah your sarcasm doesnt help (rolls eyes) and im aware a normal person couldnt. It was a metaphor.

I myself go through this. All the "gang" members, wannabe gang members, the athletic are the ones picked. I myself end emptyhanded (in everything love related.) . It funny if a girls in trouble, crying, in need of someone to talk to. Im the guy. Im not gonna try to grab her on the rebound. Im aware of the vulnerability and willing to talk her through a prob. But when it come to dating when there single .....
Im met with these phrases:
" your not dating material"
"Your not my type"
"Your sweet but"

And that wasnt enough ... when im out its always single moms who approach me. Its always the same story. We talk, we flirt , we get along...... and then once one of her children comes into view, nearby or buggs mommy. They become embarressed. They get this look of dismay and a attitude is now gone 180.

Finally im not the only one, two other aspies have very very similar situations.

What does that have to do with Asperger's? I've known quite a few guys with Asperger's who were incredibly attractive.

Instead of blaming women for dating "bad boys" (which is really just a name men give to other men who they know nothing about, because that man is dating a woman they find attractive), I would suggest looking inward to try and discover what might be causing the rejection.

Im not blaming women. Im wondering why im avoided in the dating scene. Maybe im asking why a nice guy is unwanted but if you have a six pack and a tat your wanted. A good personality is out wieghed by good looks. Myself and two other aspies have entered into single matching clubs n such together. Weve tried dressing in todays fashion, todays style, we look reasonably attractictive. While our flirting skill lack we we all tree offer honesty and faithfullness.

When the events over we three are the only unpaired and there still single ladies on the other side not wanting anything to do with us. We walked over and introduced ourselves again but we dont fit the bill. Again and again this happens. Ive check with a few others with Asperger's and autism. Same issue.

This is the fundemental error you're making here though, by assuming that just because a guy has tattoos or a six pack, doesn't mean he isn't nice or a good boyfriend. You only assume he is an as*hole because he has an easier time picking up women.

Here's the reality: women like physically attractive men. A guy with a six pack is way hotter than a guy without one, and it also sends the message he lives a healthy lifestyle, another thing women are attracted to.

Essentially, you are oversimplifying the issue by saying that these guys are as*holes. How do you actually know that? Your evidence for someone being an as*hole/bad boy is:

A) Tattoos
B) Physical fitness
C) Is dating girls you'd like to date

None of these things suggest a guy is an as*hole. How do you know they aren't also loyal? You don't have any way of actually knowing this.

And likewise if you're just meeting these women for the first time, it's unlikely they know that you three are honest and faithful, and not as*holes.

Im not saying there any kind of bad guy. I never stated they were a**holes.

Ive been a geek my whole life. Ive been a towel boy, water boy, captain of chess club and av club. Ive been hall monitor and on the sports med team for years. I was in science club and mathmatics club.

Im 30 with degrees, certs, .. it dont mean diddily...

Im in shape but idont have the above. So again i ask why is guy with the poetry book unwanted

Im killing this post as its gotten way off topic

You referred to them as "bad boys", which is a pejorative.





It doesn't when it comes to dating. Women want a guy they are attracted to, having degrees and certifications will not create attraction when it isn't there.



Because those women weren't interested in a book of poetry. Also, how do you know the guy with a six pack isn't also a poet or an intellectual?



Was the original topic to just have people tell you what you want to hear?

No it was to find out if i stood a chance or do i stay in my labratory with 30 others who say i belong there with them. 30 others married to there work. I walked around inside asking about themselves as my therapist asked. They dont have lives beyond there R&d. Ive been challenging myself to leave this behind but with all ive seen its getting re enforced to stay in with them.

This whole thread seems to be asking “Why are alpha males more desirable?”

They just are. For many reasons from fitness to finances, social status, ability to provide financially, ability to protect physically etc.

So, you’re acknowledging traits that they have that you don’t. Some things are within your control. Work on changing them if you want to. Get stronger, change your style of dress, get a tattoo if you want to. Work on becoming the kind of guy more women are attracted to if you desire to do so, otherwise accept that the pool of women drawn to you for your traits will be much smaller. That’s life.

I was hoping for something more.... thanks for insight. It seems i have an answer.

You have a friggin' chance, buddy.

Don't listen to the folks who tell you that you have "no chance."

I'm 5 foot 5, a little chubby. At best, I'm "cute." I have had quite a few girlfriends, was engaged once when I was 19, and I'm married now.

I don't have a six-pack. Even in my marathon-running days, I didn't have one.

What more were you hoping for? A magic spell you could cast on the world’s 3.7Billion women to make them more attracted to your type? It’s infinitely easier to change just yourself, if you desire to. Otherwise, your only remaining option is to accept yourself as you are and that fewer women are attracted to your type than the stereotypical alpha male.

I was out of shape and weak. Now I’m quite strong by anyone’s metric. I also got my first tattoo started, but not to attract dates, especially not women since I’m gay. It took years to build up physical strength, but I’ve done it and so have many others who wanted to & decided to. I do things like kite board on the ocean and do the Tough Mudder obstacle course in Whistler. Etc. I’m a lot more alpha-ish than the stereotypical geek. I’m planning a gradual return to university and am going to be in labs amongs total geeks. I’ll intellectually be on their level, but off the clock I’ll still enjoy an active sex life and my action sports. It’s going to be interesting in the not so distant future when I’m surrounded by a bunch of career geeks to the nth degree. I look forward to it. Might be fun being a slightly more alpha-influence in their lives. Never know, maybe one of those nerds might start getting into better shape or take up some action sport as a hobby due to my presence in their life. Or maybe not and I’ll just be the odd one out even amongst a bunch of other geeks.