Is Casual Sex more suitable for Aspie's?

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madbutnotmad
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20 Nov 2016, 6:43 pm

Hey, and please don't ban me for being controversial. And hope I don't anyone, as i most certainly don't intend to.

I was thinking about all the stress that relationships bring and how difficult it is for people on the spectrum to meet people, get along with people in a long term relationship....

I also notice how hard life is for most aspies to find a really kind hearted nice person who has the patience and moral
integrity of a saint (due to the major socio-economic implications that can come with the disability) then wouldn't life be a lot simpler for aspies to simply just have casual sex or buddies instead?

Perhaps someone should set up a Tinder for Aspie? :D 8O 8) :lol:



cberg
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20 Nov 2016, 7:13 pm

Well some of us work information security so while I'd still be highly unlikely to use such a thing, I'd happily at least voluntarily *try* to keep it copacetic & safe.

Just yesterday I was asking a big hacker group chat about Tinder's 'asexual' option; whatever they did, now THAT's an advertising strategy I can use!


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AspieGuy96
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22 Nov 2016, 4:04 am

I agree with you 100%, OP... If I was an atheist, then I'd totally be down with using hook-up sites. But sex outside of marriage is fornication, and it's not worth spending eternity in the lake of fire.

Don't get me wrong -- Banging a different girl on a regular basis would be awesome. I think about it all the time. But as a Christian, my goal is to get a trophy-wife, and make her my one-woman-show.

I don't think relationships are stressful, at least they haven't been stressful in my experience. I mean, look at it like this:

You're lucky to even have a relationship at all! You know what I'm sayin'? Take into consideration that literally millions of deprived guys out there, especially aspies, would do ANYTHING to have a relationship with an attractive female! Real talk.

The main problem is that females in the 21st Century are untrusting of males - They get taken advantage of once or twice by their ex-bf, and every other guy next in line suffers because of that.

They build a barricade to protect themselves from getting hurt again... A barricade so strong that the only way to tear it down is by establishing trust, however long it takes until she's emotionally ready to break that damned barricade.

Females are like The Sword and The Stone... It's either their way other the highway. You have to get to know 'em first, or at least attend the same class, or work together in the same blue-collar business and you'll break the barricade much faster...

Unlike a situation where you know you're only going to see the girl once -- Like if you're casually roaming a mall in order to get girls' numbers so they can hang with you. (Which rarely works, 'cause apparently it's "creepy" to them)

Not only that, but nobody wants to talk to eachother anymore in this Post 9/11 society. High speed internet and modern technology is keeping people indoors and turning the masses into socially awkward hermits.

But anyway, people with the likes of Asperger's DON'T need their own hook-up site. We're not stupid. Hook-up sites are strictly for sex. Simple -- Nothing more to 'hook-up culture', unlike dating and building relationships.



Last edited by AspieGuy96 on 22 Nov 2016, 5:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

whatamievendoing
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22 Nov 2016, 4:40 am

You know something, that's actually an interesting point. Personally I'm torn on the subject, though - I don't know if I'd prefer casual (and probably rather mediocre) sex with multiple women or "non-casual" sex with the love of my life. Granted, I have had sex with a prostitute, but the experience was anything but amazing, not to mention it's the only sexual experience I have to begin with.


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izzeme
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22 Nov 2016, 5:44 am

For me personally; i disagree. I do not feel the need to have sex as a goal, my needs are for companionship mainly, and i need a certain amount of emotional attachement before i will concider having sex with a person, casual sex (and even sex workers) are not for me (i tried; since the workers are legal where i live).

That said; for others on the spectrum, it can be a good option. This is why my country offers a budget to hire sex workers for mentally handicapped people, if they want/need them.



amykitten
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22 Nov 2016, 4:25 pm

I'm with Izzeme there. I need the whole relationship thing. I get to emotional for casual sex and my hormones are far more intense than a NT person. So I guess even something like this varies from person to person.



Alliekit
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22 Nov 2016, 6:28 pm

I've had both and personally found casual sex unfulfilling both physically and mentally.

Its more fun to have sex with someone you know well because there is no anxiety. Also I like to have sex pretty often and having a partner means sex whenever you want it with out having to figure out loads of complicated stuff that comes with casual sex :).

There are other benefits but I cant mention them on this forum ;)



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22 Nov 2016, 6:40 pm

Have considered it, but unsure on the best way to pursue it. I guess I could start cruising social media services or casual dating / hookup sites.

I'd start to consider the quality of person I'd meet on such a service or site. Being casual would mean bringing a condom though and I almost wonder if it's worth it for that.



Northeastern292
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22 Nov 2016, 7:35 pm

I've hooked up twice with mixed results:

First time (also the night I lost my virginity): was beyond awkward, but I got my now ex-girlfriend out of it. And despite an awkward breakup, we still keep in touch, however, her work schedules and issues paying a lease on an apartment have strained things. In the time I was with her I became almost a pro at sex.

Second time (last month): Learned I have a thing for shorter girls (ex was my height and a bit out of shape). Haven't heard from her since, it was an awkward, booze-enfuled night. To be honest I think she was trying to get rid of me, and succeeded.

Something else I've learned: seems I end up with girls with tattoos. In the end, it's best to have a consistent partner, someone you can snuggle up to, someone you can cry about when you two get in a fight.



Alliekit
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22 Nov 2016, 7:46 pm

VIDEODROME wrote:
Have considered it, but unsure on the best way to pursue it. I guess I could start cruising social media services or casual dating / hookup sites.

I'd start to consider the quality of person I'd meet on such a service or site. Being casual would mean bringing a condom though and I almost wonder if it's worth it for that.


The texture and smell of condoms is something I have always hated but they are necessary for casual sex.



Sabreclaw
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22 Nov 2016, 8:21 pm

I'm not good enough for either, though I'd much rather have a real relationship.



Canary
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23 Nov 2016, 12:40 am

Some people might enjoy company casually but without commitment due to the stress. Others (like me) find strangers touching them stressful, and casual sex is often not so good in quality.



Peacesells
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23 Nov 2016, 1:15 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
But as a Christian, my goal is to get a trophy-wife, and make her my one-woman-show.

The hell you talking about? 8O



DancingCorpse
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23 Nov 2016, 1:41 am

Absolutely not, I'd literally rather eat a piece of tattered bin bag than seek out casual sex, it's not something that entices me, I like sexual exploration with a person I am heavily invested in and excited by around the lake of physical melding, sex is great but it's not something I need if I don't have that connection fueling it.



nick007
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23 Nov 2016, 2:05 am

I'm sort of on the asexuality spectrum & never really desired sex outside of a romantic relationship. I had a strong desire for companionship when single & struggled alot to find someone to give me a chance cuz I'm too direct & straightforward for lots of NT women on top of being disabled physically.

I don't think a casual sex site for Aspies would work well because Aspergers is diagnosed 4x more in men than women, guys in general are more open to casual sex than women & women who want casual sex can use the already established sites & find more matches closer by.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Nov 2016, 2:26 am

Peacesells wrote:
AspieGuy96 wrote:
But as a Christian, my goal is to get a trophy-wife, and make her my one-woman-show.

The hell you talking about? 8O


He must be seeing divine revelations.