any women here who have never dated, never had a boyfriend?

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I know there are women in this forum who have admitted that they have been single their whole life, never had a boyfriend before, but it really does seem the amount of women in this forum who have never had a boyfriend pale in comparison to the number of guys who have never had a girlfriend, either women hide their situation more than men do or it is just something that happens to men more than women.

No offense and don't take this the wrong way, but it kind of makes me feel better whenever i hear of women that are in their 20's and beyond who have never had a boyfriend than the other way around, because it seems women are far less at risk than men are at being perpetually single because women don't have to be the initiators. Any women in their mid-20's and beyond who have never had a relationship before?

As sex ratios are more or less equal, for every single man there is a single woman, and for every woman with a partner, there is a man with a partner.

You see more single men here than single women for two reasons.
1. This is an ASD oriented website and males are significantly more likely to be diagnosed with an ASD than females, and males likely also outnumber females in actual prevalence of ASD.

2. Women are less likely to turn to online forums to vent about their single status.

Anyway, yes, I am single, and have had just as much difficulty finding a partner as the men here.

I've read a number of threads from women saying they haven't been able to find a boyfriend. Life can be hard for everyone, men and women alike.

Men outnumber women here, but it's not only here that I see this.

Since 2014 on a variety of websites including here, Reddit, Citydata, Bodybuilding.com Misc, Yahoo Answers, Quora and Facebook, it seems for every single female who complains of being miserably lonely, there are 10 males who feel the exact same way.

"2. Women are less likely to turn to online forums to vent about their single status.

Anyway, yes, I am single, and have had just as much difficulty finding a partner as the men here."

Because some women are probably happier being single, or at least tolerate it better. And they say women are the one's typically supposed to be the hopeless romantics?

If anything, I have never met or even seen a woman who identifies as a hopeless romantic, online or real-life. Ever.

Also, I would have never known.

In past posts I saw you have struggled with love and dating and predicted you were single, but you never at any point showed you feel extremely miserable loneliness and depression for several hours each and every single day, (not just minor or moderate loneliness) and if you don't and never have? Well, then you wouldn't know how it appears most single men feel.

That makes sense. It's reassuring to know you're not alone and to know that you may meet someone with the same circumstances as yourself.



I disagree. We are just as much at risk of being single because we expect men to be the initiators and when a man we are interested in does not initiate then we assume that he's not interested, even though he might be. Our lack of initiating means we may miss out on opportunities that were staring us right in the face.

^ On anonymous sites like Reddit and Quora, there are obviously way more men who complain about not having a gf.

But not on FB, I have never seen a guy who ever jokes or says anything about his chronic single state; basically because guys don't want to be seen as desperate or whiners in front of friends, family and people they personally know, it's probably a male pride thing; but I do also see the wisdom in that because people are generally harsher on guys who show the slightest emotional weakness.

While girls do it a lot, I see a lot of girls on fb who post jokes or memes that indicates their celibacy ie. "a picture of skeleton with a caption Waiting for the Right man".
Or you see a lot who post motivational quotes about being single things like "being single is smarter than being in a wrong relationship" or "I am single because I am reserved for the right man".... such quotes.

Men on fb never post such stuff.

Just because there are roughly as many single men as single women at any given time doesn’t mean the fractions of them who are chronically single are similar. The numbers add up, too, if almost all currently single women have been in relationships in the past and will get into them again, while a significant number of men have been always single and will remain so for life. It just means that, on average, men who do get relationships spend a slightly higher fraction of their lifetimes being in one than women do, making up for the non-negligible minority of men for whom that fraction is zero.

Don't expect them to initiate then? Seems like a self-created problem there. Unless you're really shy of course, social anxiety makes it impossible to approach people.

Yey, let's rewrite gender norms!! !

Can't tell if you're mocking me or agreeing with me. I'll clarify, just to be sure.

I'm saying if you have the social confidence to ask somebody out, don't refuse to simply because you're a woman. You said it yourself, you very may well miss out on a decent guy because you don't ask him out, expecting he will. Gender roles are stupid and limiting everyone.

Personally I'm too shy. I always feel like a complete idiot if I like someone and there's no way they could possibly like me.

Fair enough. I feel the same way, though I also worry that I'll come across as creepy and desperate if I asked someone out. I haven't had a crush on anyone in several years though, so I haven't really had to deal with those problems in the recent past.

I never understood the whole "real men don't cry" mentality. I think real men are the complete opposite of that. Society needs to get its standards sorted out.

I completely agree with this.

Let's play 'social expectation that men initiate, women wait'. It's not something I've really seen in my life - if anything, I've mostly seen men and women gradually approaching each other, sort of circling round each other, each trying to work out the others' possible response, and I have both approached and been approached by women. Could be a social-cultural thing for the UK, or the parts of which I've lived in. But still.

A man takes a fancy to a woman. He has to approach her and try his luck. She is not interested.

That sucks.

A woman takes a fancy to a man. She has to try and catch his eye, to signal to him that she's interested, in the hope that he will return the interest and approach her. For all her attempts to appear attractive to him, to make her interest almost excrutiatingly clear, he barely seems to be aware she exists. Or is it that he is aware she exists, cannot but be aware of her interest, but can't take the mutual embarrasment of it all, so ignores her in the hope she'll give up and they can both pretend it didn't happen?

Either way, this also sucks.

I think the difference in how women approach their singledom and men do is due to a variety of factors.

My entirely 'just stuff I've noticed in like tv and magazines and adverts and that' survery of the Field of Expectations for women would suggest that, while there is clear pressure on women to Get (And Keep) A Man, I think there is also pressure on them to be happy without one. Lousy as either (indeed, any) pressures are, the latter at least has some benefit of opening up a space of possibility of happy singledom for women.

My similar survery of the Field of Expectations for men would suggest that, while they should definitely try and get a girlfriend and there's something a bit wrong with them if they can't, they should also expect to be utterly unhappy in any sort of relationship where they see the woman as more than a life support system for a pair of tits (with an exception made for 'something to show off to my peers').

I think we need better ideas.

It’s pretty simple. Males are biologically the expendable sex. In the ancestral environment, your tribe had no use for you if you couldn’t fight for it like every man was supposed to. Young children cry when someone hurts them to attract their parents’ attention so they protect them. Women are allowed to cry because their childbearing ability makes them inherently valuable to the tribe, so they’re protected, too. However, as a man, you’re supposed to be a protector yourself, not a liability. If you expect the tribe to spend resources protecting you instead, the tribe is better off getting rid of you. This means that, if someone hurts you, you’d better settle the conflict yourself, fighting to the death if necessary, so you won’t be caught alive without having destroyed the source of your grief.