Any advice for trying to start dating in my late 20s?

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Dargo
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11 Feb 2018, 1:12 am

Though a lot of why I have absolutely no experience is I'm obviously shy and awkward, I've also not cared much for most of my life, but it's getting weird so I feel like I should at least put a good effort into figuring out if this is for me. So what don't I know that I should? I mean the dumbest most obvious stuff most people wouldn't think needs to be asked since I don't even talk to my friends about this stuff and have had almost no chance to pick up basic information. How bad/weird is it going to be at my age that I've never dated, kissed, or even shown interest in a woman before? Fortunately I'm happy on my own so if this all works out terribly I'll be fine but at least it's a chance to face my fears. Thanks for any advice.

whatamievendoing
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11 Feb 2018, 6:22 am

Much as I hate to say this due to the unstable climate that dominates it, online dating is one of your better bets.

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Loner269
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11 Feb 2018, 9:10 am

Try online dating, but remember you need good pictures so work on your body and style to maximize your potential, even though you have no previous experience you can win girls over by looking confident and nice. Also, try not to mention it to them until perhaps later on as there's really no advantages of letting them know of your lack of experience.

I happen to have very little experience for my age too, only had very short relationships and only kissed one girl out of those, never did the deed either. I have quite similar past of just not caring and letting gaming take a hold of me and consume my life fully. The transformation to a datable guy from a severely overweight, unemployed gamer has been an arduous one and am still working on it. Women tend to be very picky these days and will more gladly stay single than date a worthless guy.

Dargo
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11 Feb 2018, 11:41 am

Loner269 wrote:

Fortunately I'd also rather stay single than date someone who makes my life worse and datability is only a side effect of my self improvement so I think I'll be ok. Thanks, and I hope you figure out how to be happy whether you find a relationship or not.

sly279
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11 Feb 2018, 2:51 pm

Do you have a good job, car and your own place? Cause if not and you can then get those, otherwise most women won’t even consider you dateable.
Then once you get those are you attractive cause not being attractive will eliminate most women as well. What about body are you thin or fat, most women prefer a thin athletic man. Once you have all those you’ll be able to get matches and women message you back so it’ll be about finding a woman with personality and similar interests.

Also have you had past relationships or sex? Cause after 25 not having it is a red flag to most women.

kraftiekortie
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11 Feb 2018, 2:54 pm

I only had my own place. I didn’t even have a license or a good job when I was in my 20s.

I did okay, sometimes, with women.

Many guys even worse off than me had less trouble than me.

AnonymousAnonymous
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11 Feb 2018, 10:16 pm

Don't be clingy. If you express clingy behavior or anything similar, it will be a big turn-off for women you meet.

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Dargo
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12 Feb 2018, 1:19 am

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:

Don't be clingy. If you express clingy behavior or anything similar, it will be a big turn-off for women you meet.

I'll do my best though I suspect my problem will be being the opposite of clingy.

sly279
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12 Feb 2018, 2:52 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

I only had my own place. I didn’t even have a license or a good job when I was in my 20s.

I did okay, sometimes, with women.

Many guys even worse off than me had less trouble than me.

Those were different times and nyc has a lot more women then men. My area has the opposite. Areas with more women lower their standards, but area with more men women get pickier.

Dargo
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12 Feb 2018, 11:53 am

sly279 wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I only had my own place. I didn’t even have a license or a good job when I was in my 20s.

I did okay, sometimes, with women.

Many guys even worse off than me had less trouble than me.

Those were different times and nyc has a lot more women then men. My area has the opposite. Areas with more women lower their standards, but area with more men women get pickier.

So you're saying if I'm picky about wanting someone relatively sane and I'm trying to date someone who is picky it's probably never working out? Honestly I'm not that bothered by that though I know a lot of guys who work minimum wage jobs and seem less mentally stable than me getting married and dating so it can't be impossible.

fluffysaurus
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12 Feb 2018, 2:58 pm

Dargo wrote:

sly279 wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I only had my own place. I didn’t even have a license or a good job when I was in my 20s.

I did okay, sometimes, with women.

Many guys even worse off than me had less trouble than me.

Those were different times and nyc has a lot more women then men. My area has the opposite. Areas with more women lower their standards, but area with more men women get pickier.

No it is not impossible, but it can be difficult. It depends on what your issues are.

I think you are going into this with the right attitude. The wrong person has to be a lot worse than no person

If you find someone you like work on the communication, make sure she understands the need to put her expectations/needs of the relationship into words (NT women don't do this naturally) and to keep doing so.

If you try internet dating please note that the women on there are not typical. A lot of single women don't feel comfortable using them so the odds on them are against you.

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kraftiekortie
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12 Feb 2018, 4:49 pm

I agree with Fluffy about Internet sites. It’s far better to meet someone in person.

sly279
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12 Feb 2018, 5:49 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:

Dargo wrote:

sly279 wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I only had my own place. I didn’t even have a license or a good job when I was in my 20s.

I did okay, sometimes, with women.

Many guys even worse off than me had less trouble than me.

Those were different times and nyc has a lot more women then men. My area has the opposite. Areas with more women lower their standards, but area with more men women get pickier.

No it is not impossible, but it can be difficult. It depends on what your issues are.

I think you are going into this with the right attitude. The wrong person has to be a lot worse than no person

There’s no right or wrong people there’s just people you won’t find a perfect mate. Just lucky to fget nd someone you mostly get along with and there will be times you don’t get along or fight.
So I’d rather be with someone who we have issues but mostly get along then alone waiting for mrs right to come along.

There’s quite a few women who say that but are on dating sites giving it a try.

sly279
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12 Feb 2018, 5:50 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I agree with Fluffy about Internet sites. It’s far better to meet someone in person.

Maybe but I have better odds meeting a unicorn flying on the back of a griffin then meeting a woman out and about.

yellowtamarin
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12 Feb 2018, 6:39 pm

I don't think our opinions on where to meet someone are relevant, in terms of where is "better". Whatever works for you works for you. My advice would be to just try different methods and see what happens. Be genuine. Be honest. Put yourself out there and find out who likes what they see

sly279
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12 Feb 2018, 6:53 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:

How do I put myself out there?

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