Is he interested? what should i do?

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Over the weekend i went camping with a group of friends and this other guy came along who has diagnosed asperges. He came on the last group camping trip and he flirted with me for the whole time but then i asked him if he wanted to catch up sometime and made an excuse as to why he couldn't and we didn't speak for about 6 months. His friends have said he flirts with most girls but is too scared to actually be in a relationship and commit to anything. However this weekend, i had no where to sleep so he offered me to stay on his mattress in his car with him. in the middle of the night he was awake and he was slowly moving his hand towards mine and playing with my fingers in such a romantic way. He eventually intertwined his hand with mine and we had a conversation and went back to sleep (still holding hands). The next day there was no mention of it but when we left i texted him later on and thanking him for everything he did for me on the weekend and said no problem. Then i said i think its really sweet that he held my hand and i got no reply. At this point I'm very confused and so are his friends because he has never done anything like that with a girl and now he's back to being distant? What does him holding my hand like that mean? I really like him but i don't know what to do as i don't want to push him and scare him away again but at the same time he probably won't make the first move? Thoughts? Advice?

*Btw, i'm neurotypical!

It sounds like he's attracted to you but may be too scared to take it further & if that's the case I think there may be no way for this realtionship to work. If leave the ball in his court, he won't do anything & if you make a move he becomes distant so this may be a damned if you do & damned if you don't situation. I certainly would not hold my breath waiting till he can deal with it.

It sounds like a classic case of "fear of commitment." This phenomenon is not limited to Aspies, though.

If a girl did this to me, I'd be very upset and confused.

Holding hands....then being distant? Too weird for me!! !! !!

I just thought of this but if a girl did something like this to me, I'd maybe think she's playing hard-to-get

Be more aggressive in pursuing him. What is the worst that will happen?

Yeah, he is interested. Show interest in him, but don't be too pushy. Don't discuss what you are feeling with him, just do it. He sounds like one of those skittish puppies that you have to let warm up to you.

I tried to start a conversation with him over message. Thought i made it pretty clear i was interested by saying i thought it was really sweet he held my hand and the fact that i held his hand back? I don't know how to be any clearer and i really don't want to scare him away again. His friends agree that he won't want to hang out with me unless there is someone else tagging along. Not sure why i guess he's just afraid but i would have thought if he felt comfortable enough to hold my hand then he would be fine with spending time with me alone?

Signs:

1. he flirted with me for the whole time
If the guy is flirting he usually wants something and not necessarily love.

2. i asked him if he wanted to catch up sometime and made an excuse as to why he couldn't
He rejected you, point blank. He is not interested. He is not ready. If he is not ready it does not even matter if he is interested. Not ready is also an excuse, it means "Not Interested". That does not mean you are not lovely girl. But he does not see you the way you need to be seen by your love interest. He is not crazy about you. Don't you want a guy who is crazy about you? Someone who likes you and wants you in the same way like you do? If a man really really likes you, even if he is on the spectrum, he would ask you if he really really liked you. He would find a way to communicate his romantic interest respectfully in his own way. You came to him, made it so easy for him, and did all the work and he said no. If he really really liked you, he simply could not reject you.

3. we didn't speak for about 6 months
Was he in a different country with no phone, no email, no form of communication, totally stranded somewhere with absolutely no means of communication? Sick in the hospital in coma unable to move, or speak? Did he communicate with other people? Everyone has time, especially for the one you really really like a lot.

4. His friends have said he flirts with most girls Then flirting is not an indication of romantic interest. He flirts with most girls. His friends are trying to let you know he is likely interested in short term relationships, and not romance.

5. but is too scared to actually be in a relationship and commit to anything.
Nobody is scared to be in a relationship and to commit to a woman he really really likes. And if he is, you should not be pursuing him, he is not compatible. He doesn't want what you want. I am sure he would not mind to have sexual relationship with you. When someone says they are too scared to be in a relationship and commit to anything usually they still do want to sleep with you. In other words, they want all the benefits of relationship with you but with absolutely no responsibility. Do you want to be with a man who really really likes you and who would find relationship with you without commitment unfulfilling?

6. i had no where to sleep so he offered me to stay on his mattress in his car with him.
Sorry to hear about that. On his mattress in his car with him? Does he have a home or apartment? Do you have any friends to stay with? I hope you are ok. This is not safe for you. He is likely interested in sexual relationship only and you seem to be in a very vulnerable position.

7. in the middle of the night he was awake and he was slowly moving his hand towards mine and playing with my fingers in such a romantic way.
He was awake, were you sleeping? You are in his car all alone. You have nowhere else to go. In the middle of the night he makes a move. I hope you understand that this was not romantic in any shape or form.

8. He eventually intertwined his hand with mine and we had a conversation and went back to sleep (still holding hands).
It does not matter.
9.The next day there was no mention of it
It did not matter to him.
10. when we left i texted him later on and thanking him for everything he did for me on the weekend and said no problem.
Why do you invest so much energy into someone who obviously rejected you, does not want any responsibility or commitment, is flirting with most girls, and is responding only to a physical contact?
11. Then i said i think its really sweet that he held my hand and i got no reply.
He is likely interested only in sexual relationship and does not want to talk about romance.

12. he has never done anything like that with a girl and now he's back to being distant
He was never interested in the first place except in sex.
13. What does him holding my hand like that mean?
It means he likes physical intimacy that leads to sex.

I really like him but i don't know what to do as i don't want to push him and scare him away again but at the same time he probably won't make the first move? Thoughts? Advice?

I totally understand, it must be very confusing, but it's very simple actually. Do whatever you want just do not believe that he is some innocent guy who is scared and incapable of pursuing a woman he really really likes in his own unique way. Based on all you mentioned, he is very capable and thus you are excusing his lack of interest, basically ignoring the reality and thus be ready for pain down the line. Once you enter dysfunctional relationship like this one based on interest of only one person you will not be happy because your needs will not be met. Do not believe he will change or that your love will change him. On the other hand you have a choice to increase your standards and boundaries and be more selective when it comes to important people in your love life. Do you want to be with someone who adores you and respects you? Who sees something very unique and special about you? Who feels this deep and strong connection with you? If yes, then it is up to you what you allow and not allow in your life. Good luck!! !