Unfair attitude about my love life?

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Jamesy
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27 Mar 2018, 11:20 am

My dad said too me once in a casual tone "most women are indifferent towards you"

Do you think that comment showed prejudice towards me?



Wolfram87
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28 Mar 2018, 4:55 am

Your dad must have some profound insight into the minds of a huge number of women in order to say that with any degree of conviction.

And you should prefer "most women" to be indifferent to you, and hope that a select few are not. And for the ones that are not, hope that the feeling is mutual.


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yellowtamarin
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28 Mar 2018, 5:20 am

*shrug* Most women are indifferent towards most men (and vice versa), I imagine, so it doesn't really matter.



Spiderpig
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28 Mar 2018, 5:29 am

I'm sure on average men are a lot less indifferent towards women than vice-versa. I certainly am far from indifferent towards most women I see.

On the other hand, I don't see anything unfair or prejudiced in the OP's father's comment.

I shudder to imagine complaining to my father about anything he might obliquely have said about "my love life". He'd laugh in my face and ask me what the hell I mean, "my love life", as if anyone could actually believe I have anything of that sort. And he'd be completely right.


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BayeuxTailor
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28 Mar 2018, 5:38 am

I think it was wrong for your father to day that. No one can know what goes on in the mind of others. Perhaps you do not make as much impact with as many women as you would like. Have you seen Amy Cuddy's body language video on TED talks? I think personal grooming is important in making an impact, as well as dressing neatly. (I'm not suggesting you dont, as I have no idea what you look like. Its just me trying to help)


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whatamievendoing
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28 Mar 2018, 9:52 am

Jamesy wrote:
My dad said too me once in a casual tone "most women are indifferent towards you"

Do you think that comment showed prejudice towards me?


It didn't show prejudice. It showed wisdom.

Think of it this way: if you walk past a woman while taking a casual stroll - and if she's someone you've never met - chances are she won't look at you in a way that shows either attraction or contempt. If anything, you're just another stranger in her eyes. Until you take it upon yourself to engage in conversation with her (if you ever do), that's not bound to change easily. The same principle applies to men.

First impressions are about so much more than looks. And in the scenario that I described, the visual perception lasts seconds at best. People usually don't form an opinion of someone based solely upon their appearance. Granted, they can probably think up words describing their appearance, but what's on the outside matters very little compared to what's on the inside.


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BeaArthur
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28 Mar 2018, 12:10 pm

You haven't given ANY context for your father's remark. If it were preceded by you saying "Women hate me!" and he said "I'm sure most women are indifferent to you," then that was actually a supportive remark.


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CockneyRebel
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30 Mar 2018, 10:32 pm

BayeuxTailor wrote:
I think it was wrong for your father to day that. No one can know what goes on in the mind of others. Perhaps you do not make as much impact with as many women as you would like. Have you seen Amy Cuddy's body language video on TED talks? I think personal grooming is important in making an impact, as well as dressing neatly. (I'm not suggesting you dont, as I have no idea what you look like. Its just me trying to help)


I also think it was wrong of your father to say that, as well. He should be encouraging you instead.


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