Ever tried to date someone "way out of your league"?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi,

So, after not dating for years (gave up on socializing entirely due to autism related stuff) ... my best friend (known her since we were kids) is insisting I try dating a good friend of hers.

She told me about her, and she sounds amazing from her description (in terms of her personality, the "kind" of person she is, etc...) ...

haha, that alone had me worried because I have such bad luck with people... Kinda feel like anyone who has alot going for them in any way is probably not going to be interested in me at this point in my life...

However my friend has been really insistent, she hates how isolated I am and seems determined to try to fix it. lol

She swears her friend tends to sort of prefer social outcasts... She owned a carnival and always loved all the carnies she employed, got along great with them, even though society sort of rejects alot of them for various reasons. She obviously doesn't mind unusual people with "issues".

Anyway, from everything she's told me she sounds pretty awesome.. lol.. Well, she sent me some pictures of her friend last night, presumably to try to encourage me to meet her.

It kind of had the opposite effect though. lol, this woman is beautiful. Completely out of my league, I would never even talk to her if I met her on the street. I would actually be confident in saying, I have probably never talked to a woman that attractive before, ever.

My friend seems convinced she'd like me, I don't think I could keep her attention very long... Women who look like that, especially if they have awesome personalities to boot, are constantly flooded with socially skilled guys trying to flirt with them and stuff.

I've dated some attractive women in the past, and I've literally had guys walk up to them while I'm with her and start flirting with them right in front of me... lol

I just don't think.. Well, I know I can't compete with that kind of stuff. If she sat down at a table with me and a socially skilled, nice, fit guy... and me... There's no question in my mind who would be getting the majority of the attention, I just can't compete with people socially. The conversation would be in a different gear with the other guy because they interact with eachother "properly", using body language and stuff.

lol, put me in a room with a complex physics or math problem I'm your guy. However, social stuff just isn't my game.

Curious if any of you have tried to date someone like this and how it went?

To me it doesn't seem worth the energy... lol, I don't have luck with women I'm not scared to talk to... This just seems unrealistic to me.

Thoughts appreciated.

Just go for it.

My wife is STILL out of my league. We’re not going anywhere! You lose nothing by giving it a shot. Let us know how it works out!

I only advise this: if you think she’s out of your league, don’t let on that you think that, and certainly don’t let that affect your behavior. Keep cool, pretend she’s just the sort of girl you’d date. If you act like you’re shoving her on a platform and it’s got you jittered, you’re gonna do something inappropriate. Keep cool. You can do this.

Yes, dated this nice girl in 2004 i had been talking to for a few weeks, she was extremely beautiful IRL. Met up with her and she told me she were very introverted and actually didn't get many dates. Most guys didn't dare to ask her out.

Girls don’t always have guys all over them. In the real world, it’s not exactly the case. The males on here might be desperate, but a lot of guys aren’t. You would be surprised how many girls never get approached. I don’t think you have anything to lose from meeting her. She may not be out of your league at all.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My Husband didn't ask me out, I had to ask him. He said he didn't ask because he didn't think he had a chance, I was out of his league. I have no idea why he thought that but he did. If I hadn't been proactive about getting a date, we would never have gotten together and I'm ever so pleased we did. So rather than make up her mind for her, why not let her decide. You never know, she may surprise you.

I once went out with a woman I considered to be breathtakingly beautiful. I was just getting over a divorce... so that didn't help. It was a horrible time, just listen to Dr Hook's song "When You're in love with a Beautiful Woman" for more details. I also had an affair with a professional actress once... she was good looking, very intelligent and very lively... but she was... erm... married, so that ended badly for me.
Reading over that it seems very weird that it happened to me. But it did... sort of crept up on me while I wasn't looking.
Anyway, Mrs Trueno is very good looking and is also down to earth and sensible... so that works, I only had to wait until my late forties.

The better looking a woman is, the more attention from the opposite sex she will get (usually). The problem isn't that she get's attention, it's how she handles it. Some women crave it, and will actively seek it, while other's only like it from the person they are interested in. I tend to avoid the former, because you will be fighting off other guys, and competing for that person's time and attention all the time, which get's real annoying, real fast.

She just might be in your “league.”

I sense that your friend is “onto something.”

Just “be yourself” on your first date with her. If you fake it, she’ll REALLY think you’re out of her league.

Daryl Hannah is an example of a beautiful autistic woman, by the way.

I’ve seen quite a bit of evidence that women are usually offended when an unworthy suitor approaches them, that they aren’t satisfied with just rejecting him, but usually make sure he understands that it should have been obvious to him that he is unworthy and should have stayed well away from them, if not from any woman in his whole life. For him to approach women seems to be tantamount to harassment. Therefore, it seems wise to stay away from women in general if you’re not very sure you cut the mustard.

Prior to getting married I had been set up (like yourself) with women who were probably out of my league. There are attractive women who are quite open to new experiences and are happy to meet new people through friends (that's how the NT social world works).

These women are happy to meet guys through their social networks, but what you have to realise is they are attractive and single and have no problem going through a number of men (kind of like speed dating). What is a big investment for you is just a walk in the park for them.

I would think about what you want out of this experience? If you go into the date open to whatever happens and not carry high expectations then I think you will at least enjoy being in the company of an attractive girl. If you invest too heavily into the experience then both you and the girl will not enjoy it (especially if you are tightly wound up about her being out of your league)

It's a no brainer, relax and enjoy yourself. if the girl has a good time she might be more willing to meet for a second date. On the other hand if you are looking for a long term relationship and you think you don't have what it takes to stack up with the competition then I don't think you are in the correct mindset for dating to start of with.

Even though I am educated, if I find a man who is compatible with me in terms of education, I would still be far behind him in terms of life experience. I have only about five years of real world experience and I would have to catch up a lot to be ready for a relationship. I am afraid I have missed so much that I may never catch up in that department.

Never too late...remember the numbers favor you in terms of more men looking for a chance...age is no barrier

Apparently all guys I've tried to date are "out of my legue".

Sounds like we need a matchmaker right here on WP

My broking fees are very reasonable ladies!

If the person says yes, then he/she isn't out of your league.

You haven't even met her and you're already building her up in your head. What if she sucks and you hate her?

What if she doesn't suck and you like her but you screw it up because you've built her up so much before even meeting her?

If you met someone who thought they didn't deserve you, it'd be a turn off. Even if you would have liked them otherwise.