My girlfriend is smothering me.

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My girlfriend is wonderful, but she is smothering me. I just lost my job, she only works part time and wants to be hanging off of me the rest of the time. Right now I would like it if she had a full time job or a hobby or something. I am not ready to return to work, I just got off a six month run of 70 hour weeks, and I'm nursing an injury. I could really use some headspace to get myself together, make some future plans, and just generally relax. I've talked to her numerous times about it, she cries, she says she has nothing to do and no money to do it with. I had paid for a month of talkspace, I brought it up several times, the only thing the therapist said about it was it was important to have personal space. I don't know what else to do, I don't want to leave but I am running out of ideas and feel pretty unhappy.

Just say that you love her—but that you need time with yourself alone, so you can sort things out.

Sounds lovely to me. Sorry I can’t offer any advice.

Would your therapist be willing to see the two of you together once? You need for space might sound more credible coming directly from him/her.

PUSH HER OFF, MAN!! BREATHE, BREATHE!! !




Just tell her you need some space to decompress from your work stint & sort some life things out. Tell her to spend time, not money. Take a walk, read a book, watch a film, learn a skill, make some art, write some poetry, play some music, bake a cake, do some Spring cleaning, try some yoga, volunteer somewhere, do w/e she likes with her free time when she's not at work and you two don't have a date planned.. but for right now, you need some space & time to just do you and you'll be in contact still and meet up for regular dates together. If she can't handle some sort of compromise then perhaps it's time for a break, or a breakup. Obviously that's yours and her call to make, but that's the way I see it.

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