Can having the same interest(s) ever be a negative?
For example nerdy interests such as video games, anime, comics, computer parts, niche music, DnD, etc. Or other "uncool" special interests. Interests being things you are fairly enthusiastic about, that you could consider yourself a fan/enthusiast/etc. Would you ever think less of or even reject someone due to having an "uncool" interest, when you yourself are actually the same?
Would you ever prefer they not share one of your interests or at least it never comes up? Excluding stuff that generally aren't acceptable to talk about publicly. Or the person just being weird about it because that's just their personal issue. Also excluding politics and religion that aren't good to talk about due to potential for problems, I know for myself those are mostly off limits till I know people well since there's always risk involved.
Examples:
Girl calls out a guy/criticizes him for talking about anime/manga/comics when she herself has a decent collection.
I had mild crush on a girl who was a gamer, pretty decent gamer as in had almost every Zelda, almost every gen of Pokemon, some anime games like Dragonball/Naruto plus the mainstream stuff. Every Nintendo system except Wii U/Switch. But I sense over time that talking about games/anime seems negative like maybe they dislike being associated with that stuff even though they're actually pretty interested in it? She slowly became less friendly so eventually I stopped caring.
Then I'd seen on other forum someone bringing up using DBZ lines(over 9000!) as a pickup line which of course is a bad idea and of course the girl reacted negatively. But it seems the girl was familiar with the reference and therefore likely to be a fan as that particular scene would have been on TV 21 years ago (I googled it, original date was April 19, 1997) so I wouldn't think it to be a commonly known thing anymore outside of anime nerds. So I think she must be an anime nerd or at least DBZ fan but still criticizes a guy for bringing it up.
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nick007
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I wouldn't have a problem with a girl having the same interests as me unless she's very extreme with it. Like if that's the only thing she ever talks about & wants me to indulge in it all the time with her when I may want or need to do something else. I would consider this extremely over the top thou & not sure if I should vote, Yes but only if they're weird about it/over the top Or if I should vote, No not really, I wouldn't really care
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I would say 1st option if them being being more into it then you quickly becomes a problem. Like if being one-upped is a problem. What I had in mind was thinking about what some other guys said when I'd said my physical preference in girls are those with muscle(but no steroids of course), they were like "I wouldn't want girl who is stronger than me". That point doesn't matter to me unless she would view me as inferior as a result.
3rd option: It's hard to word it better within poll options(usually theres a character limit) but I would say excluding what would be considered pathological behaviour/addiction which I think is safe to say always will be a problem.
Am thinking maybe I should have had 1 more option. For me it's probably either positive or indifferent depending.
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I would think having an interest in pets would be a major plus. I hope I find a man who has pets and who has grown up with them his entire life, just as I have.
An interest in tennis could be a problem if we just sat in front of the television set watching it all day, but exciting if we actually played it together and attended tournaments.
It's not a matter of how extreme or weird they are about it, but rather, their interpersonal skills and style.
Where it would really be a problem is if the person becomes competitive with me about it. Every interaction would then be an opportunity for one-up-manship. Good people skills would mean celebrating my successes rather than ignoring them or trivializing.
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A finger in every pie.
My default tendency is just to be relaxed about it. It would become bothersome for me as well if the girl would be competitive about it.
Worst thing is judging my interests next would be belittling my merits within the interest. Since I have fairly narrow interests(Video games, anime, martial arts, fitness/working out, computer stuff, psychology and somewhat other science stuff. I expect NTs most likely have twice or three times as many areas of interest), fewer in number that I tend to focus a lot more than normal on, I feel it should be safe to say they ought to respect it enough to not call me a poser or pretender or something like that. Even they are more into it they should still consider me a peer most likely, barring really extreme cases.
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