Former Co-Worker Suddenly Pushes Contact

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georgewilson
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02 May 2018, 9:53 pm

A month ago, I worked with someone, interacted a little but not as closely as she and some other co-workers. Not much in common AFAIK, she was 18, I'm 29, etc. May have asked a mutual co-worker in her training class if she quit, he told me her next job, don't remember, didn't really think much of it, basically full on getting into Meetup groups, political volunteering, and online dating. A week or two ago, Facebook "suggested" her so I friend requested.

Suddenly, last night about 11:00, she accepts the request, OK whatever, mutual friend did after my charity walk last weekend morning. Immediately after, she waves on Messenger, I wave back, and she starts talking. I play it cool answering minimally, she throws a curveball saying "I heard you asked about me," I just kind of wait for her question-mark followup and say "how u been." Next, she sends an audio thing asking if I have Snapchat (set up last month or so), I do and I ask if she wants me to add her, she says OK so I do, then she says "Wanna text?," I say fine, she hands me her number on a silver platter. I text her hey, she texts WYD ("What you doin'"), I say NMU (not much you?). I know, the most inane stuff, but I was shocked by the initiative she took.

Probably nothing if she doesn't text, Snapchat, or Message in the next few days, might briefly message Friday but not trying to seem needy. Any idea what could prompt this (other than the obvious trying to set me up for some awful calamity) from someone I maybe left a few work days of impressions on at most? It's a bit of a confidence boost to think I'm starting to motivate women to want my attention in ways I'm not used to at all, and I'm probably just asking for trouble bursting it through naysayers here, but thought I'd see if anybody had a similar experience or perspective.



georgewilson
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02 May 2018, 10:31 pm

WTF Checked in and have been unfriended in last 24 hours. Not sure what happened, haven't interacted since her last text this morning. Guess I have my answer. :(



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 May 2018, 1:40 am

Never initiate text if you were the who initiate the friending request; and if she never does, move on.



Chronos
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03 May 2018, 2:02 am

georgewilson wrote:
WTF Checked in and have been unfriended in last 24 hours. Not sure what happened, haven't interacted since her last text this morning. Guess I have my answer. :(


Maybe it was someone posing as her or maybe she is just immature. Remember, 2 years ago she was 16. 18 might be a legal adult but it can be far far from a mental adult.



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03 May 2018, 2:06 am

Social media is quite unhealthy the way people write each other off.

Choosing to generally avoid it is something that I would recommend.



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03 May 2018, 3:00 am

There's nothing unhealthy about writing people off for any petty reason you want, or for no reason at all.


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hale_bopp
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03 May 2018, 3:25 am

Spiderpig wrote:
There's nothing unhealthy about writing people off for any petty reason you want, or for no reason at all.


That’s a rather uncommon and disturbing opinion. Are you one of those incels?



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03 May 2018, 3:28 am

She may have expected you to ask her out and then lost patience. People seem to move on at incredible speed and label anyone who doesn't do likewise as time wasters. Not good for those of us that need time to think things through.



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03 May 2018, 3:40 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
There's nothing unhealthy about writing people off for any petty reason you want, or for no reason at all.


That’s a rather uncommon and disturbing opinion. Are you one of those incels?
Don't we all write people off all the time for all kinds of reasons. We're talking about writing people off for ourselves, right, not as people, or for others?
Just walking down the street, in my mind I've written off all the women, all the men a lot older or younger, anyone in a couple, and any man in sandals. That's before I've started giving it any real thought. Of course I don't Facebook them ect and then unfriend them because there's no need to be rude (usually).



hale_bopp
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03 May 2018, 3:45 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
There's nothing unhealthy about writing people off for any petty reason you want, or for no reason at all.


That’s a rather uncommon and disturbing opinion. Are you one of those incels?
Don't we all write people off all the time for all kinds of reasons. We're talking about writing people off for ourselves, right, not as people, or for others?
Just walking down the street, in my mind I've written off all the women, all the men a lot older or younger, anyone in a couple, and any man in sandals. That's before I've started giving it any real thought. Of course I don't Facebook them ect and then unfriend them because there's no need to be rude (usually).


All kinds of reasons isn’t “No reason at all”. That’s not socially normal behaviour and would be seen as extremely strange to most normal people.

Also having heavy petty inclinations isn’t what is considered healthy either. Yes, people can do it. But I wouldn’t say it’s healthy.

Maybe we are referring to different definitions of writing someone off. In terms of social media, I’m referring to people you were on friendly terms with suddenly deciding you aren’t worth knowing. Not people you don’t even know.



fluffysaurus
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03 May 2018, 4:40 am

hale_bopp wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
There's nothing unhealthy about writing people off for any petty reason you want, or for no reason at all.


That’s a rather uncommon and disturbing opinion. Are you one of those incels?
Don't we all write people off all the time for all kinds of reasons. We're talking about writing people off for ourselves, right, not as people, or for others?
Just walking down the street, in my mind I've written off all the women, all the men a lot older or younger, anyone in a couple, and any man in sandals. That's before I've started giving it any real thought. Of course I don't Facebook them ect and then unfriend them because there's no need to be rude (usually).


All kinds of reasons isn’t “No reason at all”. That’s not socially normal behaviour and would be seen as extremely strange to most normal people.

Also having heavy petty inclinations isn’t what is considered healthy either. Yes, people can do it. But I wouldn’t say it’s healthy.

Maybe we are referring to different definitions of writing someone off. In terms of social media, I’m referring to people you were on friendly terms with suddenly deciding you aren’t worth knowing. Not people you don’t even know.
Sorry, totally missed your original comment, the one about social media.



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03 May 2018, 6:23 am

Chronos wrote:
georgewilson wrote:
WTF Checked in and have been unfriended in last 24 hours. Not sure what happened, haven't interacted since her last text this morning. Guess I have my answer. :(


Maybe it was someone posing as her or maybe she is just immature. Remember, 2 years ago she was 16. 18 might be a legal adult but it can be far far from a mental adult.


I'm going to go with this answer. To me, this sounds like Mean Girl garbage. She messaged you rather late at night and she may have been drinking too.

That's just speculation, of course, and may not be what actually happened. But knowing her age, I'd agree with Chronos.


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03 May 2018, 6:26 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
There's nothing unhealthy about writing people off for any petty reason you want, or for no reason at all.


That’s a rather uncommon and disturbing opinion. Are you one of those incels?


The incels you are may be referring to are usually entitled to girl's attention (ie. "How dare she removes me from FB?? Rawwwr") , but Spiderpig's opinion seems to be totally opposite to that as “c’est la vie, she is free to unfriend him”.

So I don’t get how this makes him one of those incels.



Chronos
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03 May 2018, 2:26 pm

She might have thought he didn't give her enough attention with enough enthusiasm, taken it as rejection and was just like "What ev er! Bye!" and defriended out of frustration. That is teenaged kid stuff. Be happy she is gone.



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03 May 2018, 2:55 pm

One time a girl sent me her phone number on some dating app (and I didn't even ask for it), when I texted her Hi she blocked me.

It's just plain craziness.



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03 May 2018, 5:42 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
There's nothing unhealthy about writing people off for any petty reason you want, or for no reason at all.


That’s a rather uncommon and disturbing opinion. Are you one of those incels?


What I find disturbing, though certainly not uncommon, is your reasoning. I am an incel—there’s nothing I can do to stop being one, unless I’m supposed to give up and content myself being celibate for life, which I refuse to do. I don’t know whom you’re pointing at when you say those. So there, if you were looking for a way to write me off, congratulations, mission complete!

Any chance you care to explain the connection between what I said and being “one of those incels”, whatever this is supposed to mean?


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