I aged into my looks, and I can't do anything with them. :(

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From puberty (age 12 or 13) to my late 20's, I was always an ugly piece of crap. Girls/women would say things like: "Oh my god! Look at his eyes! Ew!" Or: "Gross! He tried to hug me!" Or something else equally "heartwarming". Although more frequently, they simply rejected me. When I used online dating sites, very few of the women I messaged would message me back. And forget about trying to meet women at parties! Or worse, in clubs! I now cringe at how awful those environments were. My first sexual experience was with an escort, and at age 22 to boot. The few women I dated were someone I settled or lowered my standards for. I didn't find them attractive, but dated them anyway, because I didn't feel like anyone else would like me, although I treated them very well. Most of my past girlfriends were actually kind of fun, although my first one was very, very boring.

When I was 21, it even got to a point of me going to a plastic surgery consultation. The doctor took a photo of my face, loaded it into a computer program, and manipulated it to show me possible results. I was pleased with the possibilities, but not the cost: $10,000 plus aftercare expenses for 6 weeks. I didn't have the money or the time. I'm sure the doctor felt sorry for me when he saw how upset I looked, because he waived the $50 consultation fee he was supposed to charge me.

Between age 27 and today, I feel like I aged into my looks. Because women started showing actual interest in me. I also became comfortable with seeing myself in the mirror, as opposed to feeling like punching my reflection in the face. The final turning point happened on my cruises, both at age 29. A very cute 23-year-old girl showed interest in me, three older women danced with me in a cuddle, a group of girls got into a group picture with me because the shirt I was wearing matched theirs, and other similar encounters. In 2015, I became Red Pilled, which enabled me to filter out women who could be a detriment to my life. In 2016, I met a very cute girl, 11 years younger than me, on Tinder; we quickly became great friends, which was actually what I wanted. And in the last few years in general, I got pretty good at getting phone numbers and dates.

However, it's not without a dark side. In the same few years, I witnessed friends get into very sedate, insular, codependent relationships. Not just one friend, but most men I know. Women my age, in turn, seem to be a rush to lock down a man for marriage, and after that, require such a lifestyle for themselves. Which makes me fear women, as opposed to make romantic connections with them, the very thing I got good at, except 20 years behind NT men. And on the same note, after seeing how my friends changed, I developed an intense, visceral aversion to sex; like, I'd rather clean a public toilet with my bare hands! (With that said, I do have several platonic friends who are women.)

So now, aging into my looks feels like "too little, too late". Yeah, I look more attractive, but what good does it do? The only people I can attract are women looking to get married and go to snooty dinner parties with other couples. I'm far too old for a 20-something lifestyle, when it's OK to proverbially paint the town red. Like I wish I could have, back when I was young enough to do so, but far too ugly to find a girlfriend to join me in the endeavor. On a happier note, I can afford that plastic surgery today, even with inflation factored in. But why bother? To attract a wife I want nothing to do with? Nah!

P.S.:
Going on a tangent, is it actually possible to age into your looks? Like, being college-aged but having looks suited for a 30-something man (or woman), which effectively made you ugly in women's (or men's) eyes. Then later, when you're actually 30, your looks start to match your age, and you're suddenly attractive.

You should definitely stay single. There’s nothing wrong with doing so.

Also, you seem to put too much of an emphasis on appearance. Maybe you should worry about improving other areas of your life.

Sounds to me like you're having a midlife crisis a bit early.

Stay single, if that's what you want. It's your life, do what you want with it. Keep hanging out with your friends who are younger than you. You could move out to the west coast where that's perfectly normal. You'd hardly be the only guy who has ever maintained a bachelor lifestyle.

Seems pretty evident to me that for the majority of men, we don’t typically reach our peak in terms of either attractiveness or financial gain until our 40s or 50s. College age girls might fool around with the few lucky early bloomers, but it’s no surprise to me some settle down with guys who are significantly older and already well off. So I don’t see why you necessarily couldn’t do that.

All that said, perhaps you should count your blessings. You’ve been made to see just how shallow many can be, and once your looks are gone, they may be as well, and off with your money if they can get their claws in it. Had you been good looking early on, it’s also possible you could have been metoo’d by now as well.

I like it when Aspie 1 talks about railroads....

Maybe your looks haven't changed but rather your perception of how you look has changed.....just something to think about.

Better too little, too late than none, ever.

First, yes, some men definitely do "age into" their looks. And some age out of them. It is really interesting how much a man's face can change with time. A woman's can, too, of course, but for some reason I notice it more in men and it seems more dramatic. I don't know if that is reality or just perception.

Second, it is never too late to "do something" when it comes to dating. However, I do have a problem with your attitude towards women. Still, to the extent there are women who want what you seem to be offering, you should be able to find the company. Just BE HONEST about who you are and what you do (and do not) want from a relationship. You will find it astonishing how many women won't take you at your word that you won't ever get married, etc, but at least you will have come clean (please don't knowingly date someone who clearly holds out false hopes, however).

Just FYI, how couples live life varies a LOT by couple. I count on ONE HAND how many "dinner parties" my husband and I have been in our more than twenty years together. Even those we could have bowed out of gracefully had we wished to. You really need to break this bad habit of yours of forming staunch impressions that simply are not accurate. I realize the ASD plays into that but, still, work on it. You are making the world and the people in it so much more negative than it has to be, and that will negatively affect your life.