Why is it so hard for people to be alone?

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I've never understood why some people need someone in their life 24/7. I have never been in a relationship with anyone. I'm not assexual, I just don't have the social skills for a relationship. I don't have many friends either. I actually enjoy being alone. I find it peaceful and relaxing. I don't know if it is because my brain is wired differently that I can tolerate being alone. I know people who can't stand being alone and need to be with someone constantly. There are people who leave relationships and go straight to another. There are also those who get divorced and jump right into another relationship or marriage. I rarely feel lonely. It is nice to have someone to do things with and spend time with, but I don't need someone around me every second of the day. Do NT's feel the need to have someone because the media tells them that being alone is depressing or are their brains wired to want to be with someone? There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone and wanting someone to love you back, but there are some people who can't seem to function unless they are in a relationship with someone.

Humans are a social species, so being alone 24/7 for years and years is bad for our species.
Some of us are more suited for it then others. I’m not at all suited for being alone so it’s very damaging to me.im a social people person. No one spends every second of their day with their SO. But never having anyone is horrible. I dont know how much longer I can take it

It's not solely an issue with NTs. There are Aspies - even on this very forum, in fact - that find themselves unable to function without a significant other.

I guess some people are just "built" that way, and I certainly don't blame anyone who is. I believe that no matter how strong and independent we think we are, we all need other people to an extent - some of us more than others. That said, I also believe that being alone is underappreciated in a sense. I think a lot of relationships suffer exactly because some people, when one relationship ends, seek to fill the void immediately with another instead of taking time to themselves to get to know themselves better, i.e. analyze what went wrong in the previous relationship.

I’m “better” alone, prefer platonic to romantic love, & experience a rich inner life. Having another human around me 24/7 with criticisms, needs, & demands is my nightmare. I don’t even want to be around myself 24/7.

In my experience having a desperate need for a romantic relationship is not an NT thing. I've been a loner my whole life who never had many friends(sometimes I've had none) & I never had a close relationship with my parents either because they were very critical of me since I was little. I never had a desire for a romantic realtionship till I stumbled into my 1st one at 20. We were good online friends before she told me she liked me. Since then I've realized I actually am a better person within a romantic realtionship. Some of my mental issues & disabilities are better & I like having someone I can be my true self with who can understand, accept, relate, & support me. I also like having one person I can be affectionate with. Since then I was very lonely & desperate for a relationship & I tried most everything I felt I could do at the time to find a partner with no luck but bad till I got in my 2nd relationship at 28. I got in my current relationship shortly after we broke up & we've been living together 5 & a half years now. I'm pretty needy & clingy with her still & like spending a lot of time with her but I'm OK when alone for a while. It helps that she's kind of needy & clingy too. I was NOT OK when not with my 1st & 2nd girlfriend cuz of anxiety & OCD issues. I kept having thoughts that bad things were going on when I didn't hear from them for a bit & it caused me panic attacks. I became controlling as a result. I got on anxiety & OCD mediation before I got in my current relationship so those issues aren't much of a problem this time.

Exactly, which doesn’t make either type wrong. I’ve always said if one enjoys being alone tinkinering with their hobby they good for them, sadly so often said people judge me as horrible for needing a partner. It’d been nice if I was born that way but I’m not I was born as a social people person, people like me get our happiness from having a partner and friends and socializing with them regularly. Which to the other type is hell but to us is heaven. Thanks for understanding

I understand that we all see someone that we like. I have had crushes on people I know I would never end up being with and I've been ok with that. There are people who perseverate over it. They get all depressed and act like it is the end of the world if they don't have a significant other in their life. I have poor social skills and I don't think I could ever do a long term relationship or a marriage. I don't perseverate over it. I just do my own thing and life goes on. Whenever I do socialize with others, I need a mental break by being alone when I am done with the socializing. Most people don't seem to understand that socializing is draining to me. I like hanging with friends and family, but I need my alone time to recharge.

Humans have an instinctive need to place themselves securely within a designated role within a group. It gives us a sense of purpose and social interactions with other members of this group can act as release valves for stress and anxiety. Note that nowhere in there did I make mention of a romantic partner or having a family, the connections don't have to be that intimate to be effective in grounding ourselves.

Being alone by contrast causes anxiety and stress to build. It also encourages a kind of disassociation from society and its mores. The mind can wander to dark places and with less incentive to be sociable can lead to a slow degradation of one's hygiene and inhibitions.

I start to go insane without regular interaction with people. Working forces me to do this. When I was unemployed for a while, my mental health was a lot worse for this reason.

I enjoy being alone, I do nearly everything outside of work alone. But I also need interaction.

I’ve been alone 90% of the time for 10+ years

Because those people are super needy codependent people who haven't figured out how to be happy on their own.. typically they're depressed and miserable, haven't realized that it's the quality of their own thoughts that determine their own happiness from within (or refuse to accept it) and thus seek someone else' energy to make them feel fulfilled and whole. IMO it's a very unhealthy & imbalanced approach to relationships and those people need some sort of counselling to learn to love themselves and feel whole without clinging to someone else.

And gays are just people who haven’t realized their straight yet. Sounds stupid and hurtful? So is what you posted. How can you think people can be born gay or trans but everyone is born the same when it comes to happiness and needing people.

Your saying you don’t need people so anyone who does is just wrong and defective. Which is a lot like what people said and some still say about gays. Just cause someone different then you doesn’t make them bad or wrong

For mod reference I don’t believe that about gays it’s just an example of similar stupid thinking.

Except what you posted is a complete BS lie intended to be offensive, and what I posted is the truth about people who can't seem to ever manage to be happy without clinging to someone else.

Because it's been proven MANY times over by MANY authors, doctors, psychiatrists etc.. happiness comes from within, from the quality of our own thoughts and how we react to them. Happiness cannot be bestowed upon us by another person. Sure, attraction and hormones etc feel good, but that's just being need & codependent on others for happiness if another person is required for you to experience happiness. These are not my theories. This is reality.

Anyone who thinks they Need someone else in order to experience happiness is wrong & defective, yes, at least now you're grasping the concept. They're people who need to learn not to be codependent on others for happiness, because it's unhealthy and unrealistic to sustain. People should be calm, balanced, and happy when they're alone, too, not uber depressed unless they're clinging to some other human being.

It sure is an example of stupid thinking; at least you acknowledge that.

I was never really a social person but didn't mind being alone when I was younger. Now that I am truly isolated I hate it.

Because sometimes no matter how much our significant other hurts us, it's depressing to live without them

It's not hard for me to be alone.