I want to date

Post Reply New Topic

Everybody I know seems to be dating but I dont really understand how it all works. It seems really difficult. I really want to though. It seems like everyone is a part of this club and somehow I wasnt invited ever.

I wish I had way better social skills. Everybody tells me that I seem detached and I act bizarre during social interactions. Girls say I am attractive but that I have weird mannerisms. I jerk my shoulders sometimes by accident. I really try. Girls also get weirded out by my constant fidgeting.

Girls have never asked me out. The only time was for a great 8 school dance. I went just to see what a dance was like. It was too loud. This girl wanted me to dance because she didnt want me to be lonely. We had one dance and it got too loud. I left early.

I also want to know what affection in a romantic way feels like. I want to have my first kiss and I want to experience touch that I might actually like. But right now touch feels bad. I cant do it.

I understand how you feel and it sucks that we have to life this life due to our DNA but you gotta try, go on tinder or something, look at videos to improve your social skills and etc.

Do you like a particular girl? Do you want to ask her out on a date?

A bit. There are 2. There is one girl I like. Her name is Maria. Shes nice. She comes into the bookstore where I shelve books. I have never spoken to her. She has a nice voice though. Shes friends with my cousin. She seems really kind.

Then there is Wanda. She has autism like me. She seems to be more extroverted though. We are friends. She has helped me with my social interactions before. Shes better at them than me. She lets me be me. I dont really talk around her. She talks to me alot. I like to listen..

Why don't you ask either one of them to go out for a soda with you.

you may have a better chance with wanda, if only because you share the autistic experience and you both are familiar with the social struggles that come with it.


plus having *actually talked to someone* is a bonus. if she lets you be you, that seems like a very good sign but it would be hard to tell if she does it because she genuinely likes you vs. her doing it because she find you amusing.

Yeah Wanda is really attractive and nice. I get a feeling. Shes a bit higher functioning but shes really good about it. She is really patient. How would I amuse a girl with my behaviors?

Sounds to me that with Wanda you already have. Just keep going with it.

Yeah. Im not quite sure how but I will attempt it. Hopefully she accepts it. Im 18 and have never dated. Im very socially awkward.

Since you apparently like music, try playing her a song.

I hope you do ask her out....

I would like to hear about the date.

It will happen eventually, just be patient.

When I was growing up and in school, I had a crush on different girls at school. They were often beautiful and popular. But I was so shy that I never even talked to them. You will never really know if they might have feelings for you unless you ask them out on a date or meet-up. So be brave. And if you get rejected along the way, take it as a learning experience. Heartache is a part of learning the art of romance.

Girls said Hi and wanted to talk to me a lot because I am good looking - I have a nice face and wide shoulders. I would brush them off because I was at a total loss as to how to talk, and I seemed to be at a disadvantage as a socially inept person and I was embarrassed about it. Later I got dates with girls who seems excited to get to know me, only to be weirded out by me and driven away by my discomfort and ineptitude.

I did find that taking a dance lesson - where you are guided through touching each other by an instructor, made me more comfortable talking to girls or at least happier and more attractive. Also after going for a run or working out, I felt less autistic and more willing to make the contct and engage in touch and whatever with people including girls.

At the dance, if you had some dance lessons under your belt and knew to put in ear plugs to help with the loudness - you could have enjoyed a sensual dance with a girl.

My 8th grade dance, I groped firls butts while dancing with them. I felt bad and embarrassed about doing it for a decade afterward.