Finding love

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I am an Aspie male never been in a relationship at 27 years old, finding love is incredibly difficult. My life has changed a lot in past year that resulted me being a keynote speaker at conferences, public speaker, advocate with government and communities, running a business helping people with disabilities finding jobs and getting involved in environmental projects, and adventures. A week ago I was voted as Volunteer of the Year award from state environmental (landcare) organisation due to my hard work involved in environmental projects, improving social inclusion, accessibility and disability awareness within environmental groups.

I am extremely overwhelmed by lot of things I find myself getting out there. Before this, I was a uni student struggling to find friends. While this is still difficult today, my motivation, energy and confidence has grew a lot while I am seeing others' confidence dismantling themselves. Gen Y have biggest impact from mental health (mostly anxiety and depression). This is why I am struggling to find right people because majority of them in our 20's are coping mental problems and personality impacts that causing no time to learn why I am being different among their peers. This year I met a lot more terrible people than before coming across who are passive-aggressive, cringe and clingy (I am more socially active than before).

I met more women than before as well, but from my perspective those who I didn't know they are unavailable to date is already taken. I always look at their personalities, maturity and self awareness rather than their status, physical appearance and that. Unfortunately I am in middle of bad lucks because they are all unavailable. I am not saying the ones who are single don't have those three values but it so difficult to find. I live in big city of Brisbane with region population around 3.4 million. There plenty young people here but super rare to find right people.

My business and community networks always praise for my work trying to get Gen Y rediscover their lives using inclusion and accessibility to environmental projects and activities. This is my huge passion. I took this advice from psychologist many years ago saying you will find right people when they share similar interests, passions and values. Funnily, I find it obvious that didn't even happen, despite some of my friends told me I should go out more. I denied them because they recommend me to go to clubbing more where that many young people go these days. I am not into that sort of thing, even I know they have lot of bad personality types in this stereotypical environment, and plus I can't go to places with loud music and distractions due to my hearing loss and sensory impacts.

So, I am trying my best being optimistic to find a long term girlfriend and get married one day. My heart is there, and I am compassionate for women being together with me. I found myself of who I am, and I know what I am looking for. That helped me a lot especially in past year, and at same time it difficult to know when, where and who.

Many research articles I read lately (yes I am a scientifically minded person!), says that psychological impacts of Gen Y today is technology, society expectations and media causing mental breakdown and privilege war. This worries my future, making me feel bad witnessing my chances to find right person reduced as you age. It has been so long time waiting. Many of my friends still dating just simple yes without hesitation and, some still do FWBs and that while I couldn't land an opportunity.

Being ND in this NT driven privileged world it making my lifestyle inaccessible nor inclusive to social acceptance. Why it so difficult for Gen Y to be understanding and well driven people? I am also optimistic about this too but I need to see that opportunity. Everything is too NT addicted outcomes. Not helping my case.

I'm 38, and have been looking for a quality women for a few years now. I have actually met several that I would consider potential long-term partners, but they were all unavailable, as well. The ones that are available, normally seem to have personality problems, have different values, and/or not compatible. It's really frustrating. Where were these quality women 10-15 years ago?

Many single women in their 30s also rue the fact that "all the good ones are taken."

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he’s a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he’s to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may, go marry;
For having lost but once your prime,
You may forever tarry.

- Robert Herrick

This [url]article: https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/gener ... ove/989885[/url] totally answer majority of our questions. Likewise my other thread in the Haven section of the forums about why young people are very disposal in many things.

Even if women in 30's crying out for available men, that is their problem because they didn't commit earlier. Likewise many men like us struggle to find right women in our 20's. It because Gen Y females focusing on Casanova, popular, cocky and unskilled men. At same time women have anxiety issues that affect developing trust and closeness on males who are committed and compassionate. It ruining their chances. That lead to singledom in their 30's struggling to find someone.

Many friends told me over past few years say I need to go out more. I have been really busy doing work and everything like I already mentioned in first post of this thread. I can't go anymore further plus being myself knows who I am wanting for. Friends kept dwelling on me should go to clubs, nightclubs and parties because they kept saying 'that wheres women are'. This is incredibly foul and off putting attitude.

In media there always films kept stereotyping males as a blame to cause dramas in relationships. This adds fuel to anxiety issues in women.

Why I am not surprised about this?

And if you’re falling to your death, it’s your problem because you’re not flying.

Do you have female friends you spend time with one to one?

A few miles away from where I live are Amish communities. Sometimes I will stop in one of their stores. It is alway interesting to watch the children all dressed up in Amish attire. They peer around the corner trying to take a quick peek at me because I am different, and strange. I have a different manner of dress and hairstyle. They are very shy and inquisitive.

We live in many worlds. There are worlds within worlds. Generally most people only live in the world they live in and their perspective is from that singular world. But all these other worlds exist. There are different cultures, different people, different perspectives of life, different value systems. Many Aspies live in large cities and that is their bubble. But outside cities are agrarian communities and outside the countries we live in are other countries. Many of their inhabitants are shy and inquisitive and have different value systems than ourselves. So perhaps if you reach outside your bubble you will find love.

Yup, it's easy to meet people, but it's difficult to meet someone compatible.

Sorry that's not very encouraging. Us unusual people take longer to meet someone because we aren't compatible with the majority.

Patience is needed and don't give in to despair.

You will find someone eventually, just be patient.

Sounds like a part of your problem is that you are Very picky for someone who can’t seem to get a date.

You write off everyone who goes to party places. Meanwhile, I’ve met Doctors and other Healthcare professionals at warehouse parties and the nude party beach I hangout at. Not everyone who goes to parties is a loser. There are many accomplished people who like to let loose and blow off a little steam once in a while.

Also, with all the dating you’re not doing, surely you’re saving up a lot of money. Shouldn’t be too long before you have the option of just paying for a mail order bride from Russia or the Philippines or wherever.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.