Online Dating Experience

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My experiences with dating sites have been mixed. It's an entirely different environment. More like a catalog. I was enthusiastic once I started online dating; lengthy profiles, completing relationship tests, elegant messages, constantly checking for new profiles. But I've wised up about it. And ironically, the first relationship I've ever been in, was a person I met off Craigslist.

I have been on POF, DH, MeetMe, and OKC. You'll get laid quicker on DateHookup and MeetMe (if that's your intent as a man).

Four Things guys need to know about OLDing:

Attraction is always a factor (no surprise there, goes for both genders)
If you are under 6'0" you won't even show up in most women's search criteria
If you don't have a job and car, forget it. No job + no car = a bum
Women actually do get around 100 emails a day (The men outnumber the women)

I would not recommend diving too deep into OLDing especially if you take rejection and alienation personally. You'll begin to get cynical (like I am). Not all women or men are bad. But when it comes to OLDing guys have to step their game up. The possibilities are limitless in the real world vs the online world.

Good advice!

Years ago in the day of dial up bulletin boards, one guy told me about setting up a dating profile for a woman out of curiosity. He said that for the time he paid attention to the account, it was getting at least five or ten messages every day, some pretty demanding. And that was just a dialup board active in only one city.

Sounds pretty accurate, except the part about women not being interested if you're under 6 feet tall. I can't say that I, or any other women in my life, have ever mentioned height as being that important. Maybe we're just less shallow than average or something, but I honestly don't think that many women care about height.

Unless we're tall and were called "The Jolly Green Giant" all through school because of it.

A man being under 6' is not a deal-breaker for me, but I'm definitely initially more attracted to taller guys because of my past experiences of being mocked for being a girl and being taller than everyone else in my class (with 3 years of being the tallest kid in the whole school). Doesn't mean I haven't enjoyed being with shorter men, but they always seemed to be gazing longingly at the petite women. Or worse, dumping me for one of them.

You are right about the height. I don't think it is a big factor as many make it. A guy actually pointed that out to me and it did make sense. If a guy who is 5'10" or something messages a woman I don't think it is a total big deal. But for most women when they enter the search requirements (give or take) its 5'11" and up. But I don't think height is much a big deal. There are many women who love wearing heels and they don't want to be taller than their guy. Lol

That's the thing. 5'9" isn't even short. Lol I am 5'11" or 6'0". I love tall women. I'd date one who's 7 feet honestly.
And I usually lie about my job. I get money but its none of their business how I get it as long as it's not super illegal or harming anyone.
I stay in a city where if you don't have a car its like you're a total lame. But I am not getting a car just to get a woman. I'll get one on my own terms.

Hey Guys,

I just found out a few years ago that I have Aspergers. I have been dating for many years and have gotten a lot of great first dates but nothing set in stone. I actually haven't had a girlfriend now for 8 to 10 years. It's been difficult, I have felt very lonely. It seems that any girls I date "just want to be friends." Its been this way the last 10 years but I just can't figure out what I'm missing here. I have a close friend who was my very first girlfriend at 16 years old. She has never gotten over me and I still talk to her in tough times. She keeps telling me that the girls I am dating are really missing out every time they say they just want to be friends. She says they wouldn't say that or be so quick to judge you if they knew you the way I do. I asked her through texting, what is it that she sees in me that all these other girls miss or just don't see? She said "You are kind, gentle, polite and the list goes on and on." She unfortunately is married but wishes she could date me anyway. I can't do that. I'm trying dating sites such as Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, and now more serious ones like Match and EHarmony. I have not had any success yet. I have come so close but it always ends up as "I just want to be friends." In Highschool I felt I didn't need a girlfriend and I had girls asking me out like crazy. I was too shy to doing much about it though. I dated a girl I knew since Elementary School and we were together for 4 years. It was a rough relationship though as she could be very mean, she liked hanging around her Guy friends and pretty much let them do anything they wanted to her. She had no problem flirting with them in front of me. After 4 years I asked her to move with me which she thought about then refused. Since then I just haven't been able to find/ have a steady girlfriend. They all "Just want to be friends." One girl who I dated recently, we had a great date but at the same time she did a few things I didn't like, she talked about a male co-worker in front of me, she said I was socially awkward, when I mentioned my Aspergers she laughed and said "Like Sheldon." On the positive side, we kissed, hugged, cuddled, she said she loved kissing, hugging and cuddling me. She was so pretty. She couldn't take her hands off me during the date. Then two days later she said she didn't think we were a good fit and once again, we should just be friends. I tried talking to her, saying "Are you sure we couldn't try just one more time? I really like you." She then blocked me on Facebook after I sent 5 messages. I had said stuff like "Please don't forget me. If you ever change your mind, I'm right here <3" Where am I going wrong? People tell me that I didn't do anything wrong but I just don't understand why this keeps happening. I have also had girls say that I was the nicest and most polite guy that they ever met but I wasn't what they wanted. There have been times too that I have gotten desperate over the last 10 years from being so lonely as well as from OCD. Guys, where am I going wrong? - Nick

My experience with online dating has been pretty good.

I have nice experiences with Tinder and Bumble, but even more better with some hookup sites I discovered a few years ago, I suppose that is about lack of competition or something like that.

Modern dating, I mean all those technologies, sites, appsand messangers make easier to approach and find a partner for sex, relationship, marriage, whatever. Just my 2 cents, and my experiences...

Well I never got even close to 100 messages on a daily basis, at most maybe I'd get a few messages in a week. So i am still fairly convinced that it has to be more typical/normal outgoing type women who get tons of messages...not so much odd outlier women with aspergers or who just don't fit in the norm very much.

I met my boyfriend on Okcupid, and so all and all I think the site was worth it for both of us.

Before I met him I got led on a few times, or things didn't work out with guys I met so those were not great experiences. Also, from time to time I'd get gross hook-up messages but I just didn't respond to those. Or some guys I'd start talking to and the conversation would fizzle out before we'd make any plans to meet which could be a bit frusterating. So yeah there were downsides but I also met my boyfriend I've been with around 3 years now.