Afraid of ending up old and alone

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It is my worst fear too, I am terrified of this possibility. Can't imagine coping with a chronic physical illness completely alone. I don't have the skills to make friends and keep them. I don't have the skills to get social supports and to keep them. Even people who are paid to support you (therapists) are human and will give better treatment to people they like. I feel like an unlikeable person who will always be alone.

I'm from the U.S. This is an old thread but an interesting topic. Aside from the emotional, what are the practical implications of being old and alone, completely unable to care for yourself? (curious)

Due to an intense dislike of human contact, it is very likely that I will end up old and alone. Not sure how I feel about it.

Even if you are married for decades you can end up old and alone. If you have no kids or if they live far away from you, and your spouse dies, there you are. Alone. That worries me, but I have four kids and I am pretty sure that one of them will take care of me. It will probably be my oldest daughter. Unless I die first then she will take care of her dad.

Iam mid fifties now, my teenage nightmare was still being single at 30, so Ive far surpassed my worst nightmare.

At least I still go to work where I am quite popular and lots of people like to chat to me, when I have a few days off however, I realise how dreadful its going to be when I retire.

Iam looking forward to being old and frail on my own so that I can no longer even make it to the shops so I fall over in my flat and lie there for a few days in pain and suffering until I die of starvation, and my body rots away covered in flies and riddled with maggots until the neighbours complain about the smell and the Police come and put my unloved corpse in the garbage disposal or whatever they do with the unwanted.

Thanks for keeping things positive

I am old, and have my cat for company. I often joke (with myself) that it is a shame I am not some sort of criminal because I would really get along well in solitary confinement! I am on disability, but not able to get half of my medication (can't afford it) and the lottery that is the State health plan is not paying off for me.

I have often wondered if people would start smelling me before I got any other 'help." It really busts any ego you have when you tell your therapist "The only people that care are those I pay" and she laughs like I made a joke. It's no joke. Now, I am not whining, you understand. I realize that it is my fault I can't make and retain friendships, I understand knowing me is a frustrating experience. I am not saying that my neighbors I have "Hi/Bye" relationships for a few years would not cluck and nod and compare
notes while the EMTs haul me away.

But terror is relative. I would be more filled with terror if powers that be decided I needed to be in a group house and not allowed to get up when I cared to, or eat at a certain time, get along with people I really could do better without, etc.

LOL! I see what you did there . . .

but read it and weep if you need to, why delude ourselves that it is any different when we are living the reality of it.
Old age is not for the weak of heart (or stomach.)

Eh... I'm not so worried. I don't really get lonely and I have my computers and my books.

This thread is 6 years old and the OP hasn't posted anything on WP since 2009.

Yeah, Im most likely going to be in single club myself too, Oh,well, could be worst.

Better afraid than certain.

yeah, we were discussing just that up thread. If you were a member and involved in this thread in 2009 it is going to ping you with a post notice for this thread, an people respond.

Most threads aren't about the OP anyway.


Merle

How old are you?

Most people don't meet their lifetime partner no until they are in their 30's, do bear in mind what life was like for your grandmother may be vastly different today. I really wouldn't worry about this right now if you are still young.

None of us can know the future.

I've thought about being very old too and what could happen, and it's worrying. But, I think those who go into their extreme elderly years gracefully, take advantage of city resources.

Get on the list for Meals on Wheels. Join groups or churches. Family can fail you even if you have one. Communities rarely do. (Not cities - chosen communities.) Look into assisted living rather than be put into a nursing home. Volunteer somewhere, or spend time in the senior center (day time activity center.)

Preparing for old age: Take care of your diet and health. Get at least some light exercise throughout life. Save as much money as you can and make a financial plan for it. Don't fall for lonely hearts swindlers, or other scams.

Also, having a pet relieves stress and anxiety and can even help lengthen life by lowering blood pressure. Just make sure you can feed and care for it.

If you get a pet, do not get a Jack Russel puppy. That dog will tear your house a new one several times over. I say this from personal experience.

I know I'll stay alone and pretty much end up dying that way too. I just don't know how to come to terms with it.