Being a naturally shy, whimpy, awkward unmanly guy

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Is there any hope for a guy who naturally is - shy, whimpy, lack aggression toward people who hurt me or my partner, cannot stand up for myself, not socially savvy or aggressive, but tend to have internal aggression toward my own family like even my mom.

Women found me attractive and mysterious, but were turned off once they saw these qualities.

Basically, I am realizing that I am naturally a weak man and feel a lack of confidence about becoming a strong man.

[quote="Citymale"]...- shy, wimpy, lack aggression toward people who hurt me or my partner, cannot stand up for myself, not socially savvy or aggressive, but tend to have internal aggression toward my own family like even my mom...[/quote

The sexist comment has been removed by moderator.

I fit those criteria & I have a girlfriend but she's NOT a stereotypical feminine woman. She grew up with an older & youger brother so that may be some of it.

Do a martial art. Knowing that you can take someone down means you won't supplicate to men and if s**t goes down you know you can handle yourself.

when I say martial art I mean a martial art that has been proven in MMA like boxing/wrestling/Judo/ju-jitsu / tai kick boxing/kick boxing/ krav maga

You don’t have to beat the crap out of people to stand up for yourself.

Adults generally won’t insult your girlfriend...unless they’re drunk or idiots in general. Most women like to take care of themselves when they’re insulted. Some may not even like it when you “defend” them.

The world is not Charles Atlas getting kicked in the sand on the beach

Being a man is standing up for yourself like an adult, not like a punk kid.

Martial Arts is good. Yes.

So, is the question how you go about becoming this paragon of masculinity that you imagine a man must be, or how to go forward with not being that?

Not going to lie, that's basically a whole bunch of red flags. You could maybe (almost certainly not) find a woman who'll tolerate the unmanly stuff, but that internal aggression towards those close to you will leak out. You may not notice it, but others will, and they'll bolt pretty quickly.

Who in the world would you be defending you or your partner against in this day and age? It's not like Vikings are going to come and pillage the town.

Shy and not interested in grunt-grunt man things is my type of guy. Which is why I'm seeing that type of guy now. I like a more refined man. I'd rather join him at a classical concert than a football match (neither of which I am into myself).

Internal aggression is very unattractive though. Dark simmering and ready to bite with nasty words is not someone anyone wants to be around.

You need to figure out why you feel that way and work out how to turn it around.

True, you aren't going to find a woman who wants to fix your issues.

Martial arts are a great way to improve one's emotional state. When I studied Taekwondo, I learned how it is more about emotional "chess" than physicality immediately. Another thing is: find three things that you are very good at. Based on how you describe yourself, those three things might be philosophical knowledge. Your future life might be quite influenced by the Tao Te Ching.

Abusive family relationships are something that can't be fixed. Moving out on your own may be the only option if that is the case.

Yes, there is hope: you can emend those qualities by an effort of the will.

What is wrong about wanting to become a traditionally masculine man in some ways?