Pickup artists FOR Asperger's

Post Reply New Topic

Hello

This topic might already be out here somewhere, but I haven't found it.
I was wondering if there are pickup artists (or something similarily, sort of a mentor) out there in the big world that know how to help people on the spectrum with attracting women as much as possible such as to eventually lead to a girlfriend or even a wife.

The pickup artist I see & know about(which are mostly NTs) are not looking for girlfriends or wives, instead they are looking to get laid & do the f#ck & run.

Be yourself. You aren’t fooling anyone. Everyone will think you are strange. If they aren’t ok with that , then don’t set i ourself up for more pain.

Pick up artists are dipshit as*holes tHat spend more time talking game than making connections.

Don’t have expectations
Things will be harder for you
You are essentially asking about gaming society. You could take daily acting classes to be someone else. That’s a lot of energy for someone that won’t accept you

Don't be an as*hole pickup artist.

Dude, Pickup artists "PICKUP" attention and YT views to make a living out of ads and selling naive people magical solutions. Seriously, a lot of them seem like they are not the type to hold a relationship, let alone a "wife".

So yeah... Don't learn to drive from a getaway car driver, and don't learn manners from a pickup hustler (it's not an ART!)

PUA is rape culture.

Most PUA are rich attractive guys and their techniques will not work for average/unattractive guys.

Any smart smart and confident woman with boundaries will smell that PUA nonsense 50 feet off. If you want that type of woman, don't be that PUA guy.

Scipio's post reads much like a PUA handbook.

@Fnord: Thanks very much. My post is not that thorough though. A PUA handbook would have a lot more detail though. My post is more like a call to action. If you wanted to find a starter's PUA handbook, I would recommend "Rules of the Game" by Neil Strauss. It is basically a workbook with daily homework assignments to gradually force you out of your shell and into the world. "The Game" by the same author is also good if you are just interested in the history and some stories of individuals who made it alongside others who didn't. "Improve Your Social Skills" by Daniel Wendler is also good if you are just starting out and only want to get your feet a little wet without diving into the deep end with real hardcore self development stuff.

That wasn't meant as a compliment, but as a warning to others.

I have taken it as a compliment and I don't think that encouraging others to make excuses and accept failure when they can do something about it qualifies as a "warning" unless the warning is "don't do this or your life might stop sucking and then you will not be able to complain and blame others as much." It sounds more like crabs in a bucket.

Last edited by Scipio on 30 Oct 2018, 11:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

The best selling PUA book is The Rules, it’s purely a gold digging culture.

Yea, it and its sequel were written by two women to teach other women how to use charm, social hacking, and self improvement to net a wealthy high-status man. A female PUA book essentially but, since it was written in 1995, it actually predated most of the PUA stuff that I was ever familiar with and it was obviously written for women whereas most PUA stuff was geared toward men.

Can't really fault The Rules that much though. Women want what they want the same way men do and that generally means status, wealth, style, career prospects, leadership qualities, etc. (or at least the appearance of those things) in the same way that it means an attractive figure and face, politeness, shaved legs, etc. for men.

There is a lot of overlap between what men and women generally want in the other (pretty sure we are all attracted to good oral hygiene for example) but, generally speaking, women tend to value status, wealth, and social competence (or even dominance) in men a great deal more than men value those things in women whereas men tend to value physical beauty and fashion sense in women a great deal more than they value her career or how wealthy she is. For better or worse, that's reality and there are biological and evolutionary reasons for it. It's not a social construct and it's not going away so we have to work within reality as it is and not as we wish it could be.

I would probably disagree with some things in The Rules but I can't bash the authors too hard as they were, like the original PUA guys, sort of testing the waters in a new field that nobody had really explored before so of course there was going to be a learning process of trial and error as years went on.

"Being yourself" is very often the problem, especially if you have some major character flaw or unattractive qualities that are decreasing the quality of your results in life. Sometimes, the answer is "identify those aspects of yourself which are causing you to not get what you want and modify them." That requires more detailed information and action steps than "be yourself" alone provides. If "be yourself" were sufficient advice, then nobody would ever as the question "why is this not working for me and why do other people seem to just get it when I don't?" The fact this this forum topic exists is proof that, for at least one person, "being yourself" is not enough right now.

If you are autistic, then pretty much everyone already thinks you are strange by default because, statistically, you are. That is neither a good nor bad thing. It is just a reality that is not going away so we might as well own it and try to figure out a way to turn it into an advantage or at least make it less of a weakness.

You need to talk to make connections. That does not mean pickup lines. It means you need to learn and hone conversation skills (something which I and many others did not do naturally for whatever reason). In this realm, intentional study and practice of routines, openers, and conversational patterns can go a long way in the beginning toward getting you to a place where you are practiced enough to wing it without rehearsing things beforehand.

Not having expectation at all is also unhealthy. Everyone should have and enforce some reasonable expectations, standards, and boundaries such as "I will not accept a person who cheats on me," "I will not accept a person a person who completely lets themselves go and stops taking care of their health immediately after I have declared commitment for them," "I will not accept a person who derides my religion when my religion is very important to me," "I will not accept a person who mocks and demeans me in front of other people," etc.

The goal of learning social skills or PUA skills (which could be called a very specific sub-category of social skills) is not to become "someone else" in the sense that you are putting on an act forever but to become someone else in the sense that you internalize all of the positive things you have learned to the point that they become instinctive and you maximize your positive qualities to such a degree that you can barely even recognize yourself in the mirror. Essentially, the goal is self-improvement and becoming the most maximized version of yourself that you can be by uncovering and increasing your positive qualities which were stagnant and buried beneath all the other refuse and detritus that you just accepted as "part of who you are." You never stop being yourself. You just become a much better version of yourself.

It's a similar mentality behind joining the military. "Be all you can be," "accelerate your life," etc.