how do you shut off from love?

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so from being married with my own kids (now divorced ebcause she cheated on me with one of my freinds), having a few girlfriends in the past and 2 fiancees...

On every free dating site i can find... the only ones who will talk to me are the scammers and the fakes *yeh i will meet you... pay me 5k to get me out of africa...* or *... yeh lets meet up next month here is my number... oh sorry missed your call because XXX... oh sorry can't call you because XXX... no i don't need to prove i am real by calling you...*

Why does it hurt so bad? it can't just be because i am 37 years old and all alone/lonely,. needing companionship... i measn people who have been divorced/widowed/seperated for 20 years + don't get effected and they say the are HAPPY being single!

How do i shut down my emotions like they obviously have... even after all the rejections... the heart breaks from my ex's, the hoplesness i feel from fakes and scammers who build you up for a month or more and then say *nope* its no wonder i self harm and want to end it, but no i am still here because like a massive **** i still have hope... IS my heart INFINATE!! ! what the hell is going on here??? how can my heart not be exhausted already??? why does it keep pushing me to love someone??? Why can it not just shut the hell up... go the fk away and shrivel!! !! enough is enough already!! !

i have tried meditation... i have tried ignoring it... i have tried drugs... i have tried tattoos... i have tried a rqazor... i have burned myself... i ahve taken overdoses... i have talked to the doctors and shrinks and professionals... NOTHING WORKS!

Bromide no longer exists and was only given in prisons... is there nothing i can do?

I think the feeling is rooted in early childhood, or even being separated from the mother after birth, it's at the core of my being as an attachment issue. I'm seriously struggling with it at the moment, went through a divorce a few years ago but I'm constantly thinking about my first girlfriend and how I should have done things differently or what I would say to her if I ever saw her again, the heartache is unbearable at times. Fortunately I'm the primary carer for my daughter, so that takes my mind off things, but I do worry what kind of state I'll be in when she grows up and leaves home.