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ThisAdamGuy
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09 Nov 2018, 7:38 pm

I have a tendency to get into fights online, like this or this (DaHeckIzDat is me) and I'm afraid if I ever get into a relationship things will be the same, only in person. Does that mean I don't deserve a girlfriend and need to stay single?


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blackicmenace
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09 Nov 2018, 7:59 pm

Seems a bit extreme (not deserving a girlfriend), perhaps if it is an anger issue you could learn to step away from an argument until cooler heads prevail. Being correct and winning an argument may not be worth hurting someone's feelings that you care about so picking your battles as they say might be the best solution to the problem. Everyone has character flaws and no one is perfect. Understanding there is a problem is a step in the right direction. You deserve love and affection just as much as anyone else. Best of luck Adam.


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Fnord
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09 Nov 2018, 8:04 pm

Only a person who can handle relationships deserves to have relationships.



kraftiekortie
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09 Nov 2018, 8:06 pm

But what makes you upset, Adam?

Why do you get so upset?



ThisAdamGuy
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09 Nov 2018, 8:07 pm

The problem is that I always look at things as logically as possible when most people argue with their feelings. To me, a logical argument is almost always the right one because that's where the facts are. I admit I'm stubborn, but if someone can use real logic to prove that my logic is flawed, I'll change my mind. But when someone counters my argument with something that's just plain wrong, it immediately makes me mad. They're not interested in really being right, they want the world to conform to them and agree with them out of sheer pacification, and (imo) that's one of the most pathetic things a person can do.


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blackicmenace
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09 Nov 2018, 8:16 pm

You can win every battle, but you should be prepared to lose the war.


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Fnord
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09 Nov 2018, 8:20 pm

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
... when someone counters my argument with something that's just plain wrong, it immediately makes me mad. They're not interested in really being right, they want the world to conform to them and agree with them out of sheer pacification...
Projecting much?



ThisAdamGuy
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09 Nov 2018, 8:23 pm

Fnord wrote:
ThisAdamGuy wrote:
... when someone counters my argument with something that's just plain wrong, it immediately makes me mad. They're not interested in really being right, they want the world to conform to them and agree with them out of sheer pacification...
Projecting much?

I guess it could be worse. I could troll an aspie forum, pretending to help people as an excuse to leave snarky comments everywhere.


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kraftiekortie
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09 Nov 2018, 8:30 pm

How's the job coming along?



ThisAdamGuy
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09 Nov 2018, 8:33 pm

Still sucks. The jobs I want to do won't hire me, and the jobs that will hire me don't pay enough.


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kraftiekortie
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09 Nov 2018, 8:37 pm

It's better than having no job at all.

You deserve a girlfriend. Just know that you can't use logic in love relationships all the time.



ThisAdamGuy
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09 Nov 2018, 8:44 pm

I recall during an argument right here on WrongPlanet sometime last year, someone said something along the lines of "Wow, no wonder you're single. God forbid any woman be put through this just because she had the nerve to disagree with you."


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kraftiekortie
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09 Nov 2018, 8:50 pm

Keep in mind that people can't agree with you on everything.

If you keep that in mind, you'll probably get in less arguments.



blackicmenace
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09 Nov 2018, 8:52 pm

Perhaps giving theory of mind strong consideration could help you avoid arguing to the point it is detrimental to a relationship.


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auntblabby
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09 Nov 2018, 9:01 pm

a lot of us here are prolly like I was when I was the OP's age, i'd be like "who give a $#!+ about that $#!+? theory schmeory BAH!" I had to grow up a LOT to even be able to comprehend that it existed in the first place as well as the importance of it, and to stop being so, well, autistic. :oops: [spoken in irony]



ThisAdamGuy
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09 Nov 2018, 10:13 pm

auntblabby wrote:
a lot of us here are prolly like I was when I was the OP's age, i'd be like "who give a $#!+ about that $#!+? theory schmeory BAH!" I had to grow up a LOT to even be able to comprehend that it existed in the first place as well as the importance of it, and to stop being so, well, autistic. :oops: [spoken in irony]


The definition of the theory of mind is "the ability to attribute mental states—beliefs, intents, desires, emotions, knowledge, etc.—to oneself, and to others, and to understand that others have beliefs, desires, intentions, and perspectives that are different from one's own." I can do that. The problem is that people today think everything that goes through their heads is an opinion, and therefore must be right. That's untrue. "I like McDonald's better than Burger King" is an opinion. "A McDonald's Big Mac is a healthy and nutritious meal" is wrong, but they'll tell you it's an opinion (and therefore right) anyway.


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