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angela8
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12 Dec 2018, 11:04 am

This is not meant as anything but a sincere question of interest. Why do so many Aspie men remain virgins for a long time?
Is it social anxiety or just the inability to feel you can connect with someone? Or is it not wanting the physical closeness?
I'm sure it's different for every man. Just looking to understand in general.



kraftiekortie
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12 Dec 2018, 11:06 am

It's probably a combination of many factors.

It should be noted that many Aspies DON'T remain virgins.



angela8
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12 Dec 2018, 11:25 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's probably a combination of many factors.

It should be noted that many Aspies DON'T remain virgins.


I just meant that they seem to remain virgins for a long time, meaning until late 20s or maybe later.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Dec 2018, 11:30 am

George Bernard Shaw, it is said, remained a virgin until he was 29.

There are many factors which cause a man to remain a virgin. Perhaps it could be one of the factors you mentioned. Perhaps it could be other factors. It depends on the individual.

But....many Aspies also lose their virginity earlier than their late 20s.

I, for one, lost it at 17. Even though I was a socially-awkward Aspie-type teenager.

I know, to many men, being a virgin in one's 20's is something which aggravates them. They are always seeking the "reason," and sometimes come up with very erroneous notions.

The pursuit of the "why" pertaining to male virginity often gives rise to controversy.



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12 Dec 2018, 12:32 pm

I'm 28 and still a virgin. The only reason I'm still a virgin is because I have yet to meet somebody.

Maybe someday. :D



nick007
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12 Dec 2018, 12:48 pm

I was a virgin until I moved in with my current girlfriend at 30. I'm sort of demisexual thou & I don't really desire sex outside of a serious romantic relationship. All 3 of my relationships were long distance & my 1st two only lasted about 6 months thou me & my 1st girlfriend were friends a while before & for a little bit after we broke up. I was single & looking for 8 years after me & my 1st girlfriend broke up. I couldn't find any girl willing to give me half a chance.
I think there can be lots of factors as to why Aspie guys tend to remain virgins later than NT guys.


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lostproperty
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12 Dec 2018, 2:59 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
George Bernard Shaw, it is said, remained a virgin until he was 29.


John Cleese lost it quite late too, think he said he was 26.



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12 Dec 2018, 3:54 pm

angela8 wrote:
Is it social anxiety or just the inability to feel you can connect with someone? Or is it not wanting the physical closeness?


Those both reasons are relevant. The second one is connected to the fact that (I have a picture that) asexuality is more common than average among the people of the spectrum.

Also people on the autism spectrum are not usually smoothie talkers (rather something opposite) and their social standing is often low. These both are significant factors that effect on how sexually attractive men are seen.

Naturally, many people on the spectrum display behavior that others immediately perceive as strange in a way or another and this makes them less attractive.

And it is not just social anxiety. It is also preference not to spend time socially or difficulty to enjoy social situations in general. These both lead to a lower chance to meet potential companions.



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12 Dec 2018, 5:42 pm

For me, it was probably a mix of being demisexual, not having a steady girlfriend, and wanting to wait until marriage (I changed my mind on that one when I turned 21).


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12 Dec 2018, 6:14 pm

angela8 wrote:
This is not meant as anything but a sincere question of interest. Why do so many Aspie men remain virgins for a long time?
Is it social anxiety or just the inability to feel you can connect with someone? Or is it not wanting the physical closeness?
I'm sure it's different for every man. Just looking to understand in general.



I am curious to know why do you care?



sly279
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12 Dec 2018, 6:28 pm

angela8 wrote:
This is not meant as anything but a sincere question of interest. Why do so many Aspie men remain virgins for a long time?
Is it social anxiety or just the inability to feel you can connect with someone? Or is it not wanting the physical closeness?
I'm sure it's different for every man. Just looking to understand in general.

Because no woman will date us non less have sex with us.



angela8
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12 Dec 2018, 7:14 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
angela8 wrote:
This is not meant as anything but a sincere question of interest. Why do so many Aspie men remain virgins for a long time?
Is it social anxiety or just the inability to feel you can connect with someone? Or is it not wanting the physical closeness?
I'm sure it's different for every man. Just looking to understand in general.



I am curious to know why do you care?

I care because I am concerned about a friend. And he's someone I wanted to have sex with.



kraftiekortie
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12 Dec 2018, 10:26 pm

It would be great if you are this guy’s first lover.



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12 Dec 2018, 11:34 pm

lostproperty wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
George Bernard Shaw, it is said, remained a virgin until he was 29.


John Cleese lost it quite late too, think he said he was 26.


I think Nick Drake remained a virgin his entire life.



lostonearth35
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12 Dec 2018, 11:40 pm

Aspie men? Is the OP implying that only aspie men are virgins, or that it's only acceptable if aspie women are virgins. But then again, I've never understood why it's unacceptable for NT men to be virgins but okay for women, either.

I dunno this whole website seems to have just become one big long whinge-fest about how all women are evil and only want to date men who are scum. I should just leave WP forever.



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13 Dec 2018, 12:40 am

Or maybe they don't feel right having out-of-wedlock sex. That could be another possibility.


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