Any polyamorous aspies here?

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I believe polyamory is the most natural and healthy state for a human being.

Why do I believe that? Oh, just think about it. Why would God have created such a diverse species; a human species of different races and body types, genders, hair and eye colors, personalities; if His intention was for us to only have one partner for life? It would be like going down to the dinner buffet at a five-star restaurant, and eating nothing but saltines.

I have two men I enjoy having sex with, I have my eyes on a few other men (and at least one lady) as well, plus I got plenty of desperate internet trolls blowing up my Tinder, Grindr, and Fetlife feeds at any given time.... maybe I'm just a hedonist but my thought is, why would God throw all these lovely people at me and expect me not to jump into bed with 'em? I've participated in threesomes, orgies, gangbangs, I'm 32 and showing no signs of slowing down. I can't get pregnant so why not live life to the fullest??? But one thing I would never do is cheat. No, I have a boyfriend I love dearly, I've been open and honest with him about my poly inclinations, and he is 100% supportive. It's just really depressing that I will only kiss a very small percentage of the approximately three billion boys I share this planet with, and oh, how cruel that I was born in this human body with all its limitations, when I should be as a goddess of love serving the whole of humanity....

okay, wow, I wasn't expecting to go into that much detail, but at least we have plenty to talk about now XD

Anyway there is no flippin' way I'm the only poly person on this site. Get in here >:b

Not if your goal is to have a partner, or especially children. Polyamory detracts from your ability to pair-bond with another person, which is fine, but only if there are no children in the picture. In terms of the r/K selection theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R/K_selection_theory, partaking in polyamory is an r-selected reproduction strategy (though now obviously birth control and protection are often used to stop any actual children from being born this way, but following it to its logical conclusion, it is still an r-selected reproduction strategy). K-selected reproduction strategies are widely seen as being better for humans who produce offspring, but again if no children are involved, be as promiscuous as you want.

I've always been kind of curious as to whether or not I could handle something like that...I don't think I could, but on one hand, I did have a brief period of time (very brief) where I was kind of seeing two girls at the same time. It was interesting, but hearts were broken, and it ended disastrously.

I'm perfectly fine with just one girl, though. If I had multiple, I don't know how I'd be able to find any time for myself.

Who wouldn't entertain the idea? But as I've only had a handful of partners in my whole life, it's not going to happen, though I wouldn't mind if I had a girlfriend who was into it. Unfortunately I couldn't handle it in my teens and jealousy was the reason I broke up with the one person I should have stuck with.

Not at all. At my age it’s more fun to reject women than have a bunch of them.

No you’re not the only one. I was into that sort of thing when I was younger. Poly, swinging, sleeping with friends. Then I moved to a small town and was ill for a few years. I’m in my mid 40s now and my hormones are calming down and I’m not as obsessed with sex as I used to be and I almost never want to socialize anymore either. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed the direct communication required for those sorts of relationships and enjoyed the closeness with multiple people. There was a lot of heartbreak too. It sort of took over most of my life and I feel like I want to focus on other things now. I’ve never been in a strictly monogamous relationship before but I seem to be now

I do disagree that loving other people or having sex with other people gets in the way of bonding with your partner. My previous relationship lasted for 15 years and we were involved with many other people throughout and because of that we had to keep our own relationship working really well. It also keeps the sex with your partner very exciting. I’m not saying you can’t keep your relationship tuned up and exciting in a monogamous relationship, it’s just much easier to ignore things and let them slide if it’s just the two of you.

I'm poly and I've been married 18 years and just left a relationship with a partner of 8 years. I also have 2 boys, ages 11 and 14. My husband is not poly, but also supports me 100%. I also am not the poly type who sleeps around (not that that is a bad thing as long as it's all above board and everyone is being honest and safe about it). I tend to form deep long term commitments to very few people.

People who say poly hinders commitment or long term relationships really don't understand a thing about it.

Can't say that I am, but I am learning more about it, and have come to understand why people, especially aspies, would want to gravitate to the poly lifestyle. Also I am always willing to learn more about it.

Last edited by Arevelion on 11 Dec 2018, 8:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No I am not. It just isn't for me.

Even in most Muslims societies outside the GCC, Monogamy is the norm. Of all the people I met, I probably only know one case of a man with two wives.... and it didn't work well at the end, actually the first wife's family forced the husband to divorce one of them.

That should tell you something.

Also STDs would spread way more rapidly in a polygamous society.

No it wouldn't.

The subject is polymory, not polygamy. Multiple lovers, not actual official plural marriage. And the OP means both genders are allowed multiple partners.

And most polygamy is also polygyny (men only are allowed multiple spouses).

Polymory might aid and abet STDs, but not polygyny.

In Saudi Arabia, or in Colorado City New Mexico where the Mormon polygamist holdouts rule, its polygamy (actual plural marriage), and its also polygyny only(multiple wives, and not multiple husbands). Both are very strict societies. And I don't see how their polygyny is any more condusive to spreading STDs than monogamy, and maybe even less so. Not that I am advocating it.

There are a few traditional societies that allow polyandry (women allowed to take multiple husbands), but its rare compared to polygyny. The societies that allow polyandry are mostly in the Himalayas (Tibet, Nepal, Bhutan), but also in some lowland pockets in southern India. Its allowed usually because of the problem of land tenure. A group of brothers are allowed to marry one women so they don't have to split up the farm land they inherit from their common parents.

But polyamory probably includes sex too, then how it wouldn't?

Let's assume MushroomPrincess is in relation with naturalplastic, The Grand Inquisitor, and leahbear, and they're all having sex with each other. MushroomPrincess turned out to have herpes, now all the 4 persons have herpes.

Alternatively, if MushroomPrincess only chose a monogamous relationship with The_Face_Of_Boo (god forbids!) , then only 2 will have herpes, or maybe only one because we would probably end up not having any sex (*shivers*).

That's the very point im making.

I guess its my bad. I coulda sworn that I had written "polymory might well contribute to STDs, but not Muslim polygamy that you're talking about, but then I guess went off on other topics. like polyandry and forgot to actually write it).

The "it" that I was referring to when I said "it wouldn't spread STDs anymore than monogamy" is "Polygamy" (the word you used). Polymory(what the op is talking about) , on the other hand, might well spread stds more.

You were talking about polygamy in traditional muslim countries (polygamy which is always also polygyny, and is never polyandry). Sheiks with multiple wives are not spreading STDs anymore than monogamous couples are. In contrast traveling rockstars with groupies in every town probably are. The later is polymory but not polygamy.

Last edited by naturalplastic on 12 Dec 2018, 4:41 am, edited 3 times in total.

Don't kid us around. We all know a total chad like yourself has spread your herpes to hundreds of women all over the world.

^^^


A "chad"?

Let me guess.

That's a combination of a "cad", and "chav"? Right?