Shouldn’t parent take responsibility....

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...to make their children develop into attractive grown ups?

I was reading a study on why most people nowadays have narrow jaws, which cause crooked teeth, narrow face, impacted wisdom teeth.... according to stufies, it turned out that the jaw width has little to do with the genetic factors, the culprit is the lack of vitamin K in modern diet during childhood, which plays a major role in bone development and jaws in particular (and even height).

Now to be fair, our parents probably didn’t have access to such information, but I am sure most of the new parents are unaware of this crucial info, hence we keep seeing kids getting crooked teeth - sad.
(Crooked teeth seems to be rare in the ancient times btw), if they ever know what to feed their kids, not only they would spare their kids the dental works’ pains, but also they would grow with more attractive faces with wide jaws (especially men) and good teeth , after 18 it would be too late.

I think there are a lot of things parents to make their kids grown into attractive adults (ie. sports, learning music....etc) : a silly yet true example, the other day while i was in the market, i spot a young mother who kept telling her 2 little boys to stand/spike up their hair with their hands; it’s an old fashioned technique used for boys to train the hair stands up naturally which makes it easier to style and not falls like an emo hair; I have struggled to style my hair because it kept falling on my down (unless I use a lot of gel), I have never been told to train my hair this way until i took the barber’s advice recently and it worked a bit after a while, now this was easy.... but there are stuff that you can no longer compensate as a grown up, either due to biological limitation or to lack of time/energy in adult life (ie learning music).


Hmm, maybe I should have posted this in the parent’s section? I dunno, it’s the mods’ call.... but I feel parents’ neglects in stuff does affect negatively on one’s attractiveness big time (as adult later); what so you think?

I suppose you're right. But if a kid has a face like Abe Vigoda, there's not a whole lot you can do.

Let’s turn this into a more interesting topic: what stuff do you think your parents could do to make you develop into a more attractive grown up than how you are now?

Teach them to love themselves, along with all the basics of good hygiene, proper diet and exercise, etc. Instilling a good work ethic is crucial, as well, along with teaching them the value of compassion and caring for others.

I think this is a great topic, Boo. I think if I had brought up consuming less unhealthy food and drink that it wouldn't be the habit it is for me now and I wouldn't have as much trouble with my weight as I do now. As a kid, I was never going to eat my greens (food aversions) but if I hadn't gotten used to having so many empty calories and treating myself whenever I feel like it/to take my mind off depression then I don't think my weight would be a problem. Also if my mum had been more persistent at trying to force me to do my eye exercises as a kid, I wouldn't have the lazy eye and poor vision I do now.

If they had beat me as a kid I would have developed a far tougher body and mind than I have now. I was coddled too much.

My parents were very... how to say it? Very education-focused, like for them parenting was = focus on education + basic stuff like feeding and healthcare.

They had no concept of social development, at all; teacher kept telling them about my socialization difficulties but I don't recall they ever did any effort in that regard. Here's a remark from my kindergarten teacher:



If you look at the last section "Sociabilité" it reads "Se tient à l'écart de ses camarades" , which means "He stays apart from his colleagues" , so obviously she noticed something wrong, she also noticed I avoid eye contact, I recall she kept asking me to look in the eyes when talking to someone. In the section before it which is about motor skills she wrote "slow to react".

In fact, when I was 10 years or so I have spent whole summer vacations indoor, maybe going out 3-4 times in the the whole 2.5 months vacations, always spent it on comics, reading and games ...and oh more education, I remember the many adventure stories other kids tell in on first day of school after summer, they often spent time with other classemates, I was out of the picture every time, now I realize it was so weird that a parent wouldn't notice this and ask his/her child "Dear, why are you never going out? What's wrong? " Sigh.

So yeah, my parents' parenting regarding socialization was totally null, I ended up with no people skills at all, work meetings are nightmares to me.

Maybe your parents believed education is the key for attractiveness.

There is the other end like mothers forcing their preteen daughters to regulate eyebrows or forcibly dieting their kids, often removing any natural self-confidence the kid had before. The life has many aspects and facetes, getting the best of one's potential is a delicate art you can't expect every parent to master.

But come on, if your child never goes out and plays with other kids for whole summer vacations, wouldn’t you even try to understand what’s going on?

My parents never cared what I did unless I embarrassed them. They taught me almost nothing--how to mow the lawn, drive, maybe some cooking skills. But, I'm kind of glad, ultimately. They never cared what I read or what music I listened to, so I got to explore a lot that was probably inappropriate for my age. I basically raised myself and I think it made for a more unique personality than a lot of people I see, who just seem really self-assured for no reason and very bland, to me. My dad never did much with the family, and my mom never knew what to make of me. It was hard realizing they didn't care, but also liberating. Like Boo, my teachers also commented on report cards that I never socialized, but neither the teachers nor my parents ever talked to me about it. I think at a young age I just learned that most adults don't care. If you do well, they think it reflects on them. If you struggle, they pretend there's no problem. Just my own bitter experience

But, in support of what Boo's saying, I will say it's interesting that humans are the one animal which doesn't necessarily teach it's young to survive. Often the parents teach the young to reinforce the parent's own grandiose self-image. Something worth pondering, as it shows us what different people think of as "survival."

Funny thing: I don't feel I need to be any more attractive. Being a healthy weight girl with a nice face is pretty enough. I even intentionally play my attractiveness down to be taken more seriously by male coworkers.
While my parents could have avoided some errors in my upbringing, I don't regret their lack of focus on my physique. I like my hairy forearms and heavy eyebrows, even if the social norm frowns upon them. Being healthy and self-accepting is just enough for me.

I would.
Actually, as a parent, I'm very focused on my kids overcoming their difficulties and building on their strengths. It's not focused on attractivenes, a healthy girl wearing a suiting style is always attractive But one of my daughters does have social difficulties and do I care a lot for the little social circle she finally managed to build at school. I care a lot for emotional and social development of my children because I know this is the hard part with my and my husband's genes. Quite unlike education - this is the easy part

Seems like your parents didn't know much about Asperger's/Autism and didn't much care to learn. When I started preschool, I had next to no empathy for other students, behaved in antisocial ways and I even ended up realising that I didn't know how to make friends or socialise with the other kids. One day I distinctly remember the other kids asking why I was acting the way I was and I told them I didn't have any friends, so one kid offered to be my friend and I ended up basically clinging to him for a couple of years just following him and the social group he was in around, but I had no real concept of personal space and that became a problem, and eventually his mother demanded to the school that I stop hanging around him, so by third grade I ended up largely just spending school lunches all by myself for a period of time. I ended up befriending this same kid again in the later primary school years and we're still friends to this day.

I think it's difficult for people who naturally have social skills to know how to teach people who don't, because they don't need to think about it - it just comes natural to them. I'd say for me, having the ability to realise how to act in certain social situations through analysis has been my saving grace, but it's not fool-proof, and I still have a fair bit of difficulty interacting in situations where I'm completely surrounded by people I don't know and no one I know is there.

I used to have crooked teeth, had to wear braces for a while. Still have a tooth that's a little out of place, but it's not that noticeable. Most people don't realise unless I point it out, and even if they do they don't seem bothered by it. Admittedly I stopped wearing my retainers (had braces, and then retainers) before I was supposed to, so I can't go back on the NHS to have that repaired. I'd have to pay around £2,000 to fix one tooth, and it not doing any damage so I think I'll stick to having one slightly faulty tooth.

My parents used to ask me why I didn't hang out with my friends more, and I would explain how my friends were constantly fighting with one another and I used to have to hang out with this girl because her mother made us. Sometimes my dad would encourage me to find a hobby that involved people more.

I'd say that growing up, my mother would provide me with emotional and academic support, whereas my dad would focus on instilling a sense of curiosity about the World. He also helped me out with school work as well.

We'd often go for long walks to somewhere, and he'd talk about philosophy and science. Now and then he'd try to explain theories about quantum physics to me, but admittedly I don't understand most of it. I would view my dad as an education mentor, and my mum as a caring friend. Sometimes my mum, dad, and I would go around old ruins and forests where I'd practice my photography skills.

I wasn't a fan of my mum pressuring me into taking up dance, or my dad's morbid bluntness. One day my dad came in the house, remarked "I hope you remember me fondly when I die, here's a chocolate bar" out of nowhere and threw chocolate at me.

My parents don't seem to do subtly or understand when it is an inappropriate time to have certain conversations. Both of them talk about rather gory or otherwise unpleasant things around the dinner table as if it were the most normal thing in the world, and my mum is brutally honest about her opinion. My dad once put an order on a painting, and he showed it to my mum at an art gallery, only for my mum to exclaim "Wow that is completely terrible". The art guide wasn't impressed. Also, if she doesn't like someone's gift she'll straight-up ask for the receipt to their face. *Shakes head* At least it's easy to know what my mum's thoughts are. I don't think I'll ever struggle with that.

You’re married so obviously you don’t have this problem (to be attractive).

In my right age, I was attractive enough to gain some expirience to know what kind of relationship I was looking for, attractive enough to be able to choose... and unattractive enough to know my chances wouldn't be infinite.

But, as I mentioned concerning my daughters, good health and a style fitting her kind of beauty are enough for a girl get some attention. The rest (what she does when she has the attention) is about other qualities.

Abe Vigoda did pretty good for himself...…

I'm sure he had plenty of chicks.