Question about attraction

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I was thinking about attraction the other day after a friend of mind got engaged to his girlfriend of a few years. I consider my friend to be objectively better looking than I am, but I don't find his finance attractive at all. As lonely as I am, she's not anyone I would ever begin a relationship with. I'm sure I'm shallow in that regard, much to my dismay, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about that. Over the years, I've known several men who dated and married women that I thought were . . . . well, flat out ugly. Obviously, I can't talk to them about this so I thought I'd get some thoughts here.

Do you think they just have a broader spectrum of what they find attractive? Due to their broader spectrum, did they find this woman attractive from the very beginning? Is this woman someone they didn't find attractive at first, but as they got to know her better through various means, they grew to find her attractive? I'm just trying to develop a better understanding. Like I said, I'm nearly 40 years old, have never dated anyone or had a romantic relationship of any kind and even I wouldn't consider these women as potential. I'm sure I'm missing out so if anyone has thoughts on how to change that or increase the spectrum of women I find attractive, I'd be interested in hearing that too.

Obviously some people are in general considered more attractive than others. You can "objectively" say if someone is attractive or not - by the opinion of majority.
Yet not everyone is attracted to the same thing. Most men are more attracted to slim women, some are mostly or only attracted to obese ones.
It could be that you and your friend are simply not attracted to the same kind of woman and maybe your friend is the one who is in the minority of men when it comes to what they're attracted to. (especially if there's one specific reason why you consider his fiance unattractive something like weight and not just general 'ugliness')

That they have a broader spectrum of what they find attractive is also possible. Albeit how choosy people are when it comes to what they find attractive seems to be correlated with their own attractiveness, there's certainly also some variability that's not tied to ones own looks.

Alternatively, people just need different levels of physical attraction to want to have sex with someone - and sex might be the main reason why looks matter in relationships.
I've both known very attractive men who were not at all choosy at least when it came to casual sex and short term relationships (they said themselves that they think some of the women they had sex and short term relationships with were not attractive) as well as good looking men who would only have sex with good looking women.

I certainly start to find men I like more physically attractive as I get to know them than I initially did (even though objectively their looks didn't change). But the only person I talked to about this who confirmed that the same is true for her was another woman and these changes in perceived physical attractiveness happened with men we initially neither perceived as particularly attractive nor unattractive. I can't say if a perceived change from physically repulsive to attractive is plausible just by getting to know someone and liking their personality.

I can be attracted to women who aren't pretty but have the type of body I like.

I know an ugly guy who never had any trouble getting dates at bars. He knew who ask.

Ugly is in the eye of the beholder.

Yet most people will agree with a standard of looks. Some won’t but we are fee and far between.
I find 95% of women pretty most guys probably only fine 60% of women pretty.

Yes. Guys will date a wide spectrum of girls while girls are mostly attracted to the same type (tall, muscular, sharp features, protruding bones, big chiseled jaw, lean, etc..)



and if you dont look that type, you're out of luck. Your only hope is that some girl will be desperate enough to put up with you rather than being alone or being someones side girl.

Its harsh but there are studies confirming this

Other than being on the spectrum I think being ugly is another major reason why Im still a virgin

^ the guy on the left looks exactly like my next door neighbour, how did you get his photo?

Thats the same guy in both of those pictures (notice the tattoo on his forearm), hes called Nick Bateman and he is an instagram model. The picture is from an interview article

So they are, but they look different.
The guy on the left looks fun-loving and casual.

Yes, he also looks like hes a good person and has a nice personality

Thats the power of being good looking, something that doesnt get talked about enough imo

If there is any hope of us overcoming being on the spectrum and getting gfs, then this is it, make yourself the best looking version of yourself you can

Funny, if I saw the guy on the left I'd probably make some smart comment and take the piss outta him, but I think I'd avoid the guy on the right altogether.
But it's the same guy!

Funny you say that, but looking threatening and intimidating as a male is actually a positive characteristic that makes you more attractive to women



Looking at this scale, which face do you think looks most attractive?

Would a woman approach a man who looks threatening?
I wouldn't have thought so.

The third from the left.

The correct answer is the second one from the left

http://evolution.anthro.univie.ac.at/in ... rd2001.pdf

Though this is from 2001, so I suspect today it would the first one from the left

The vast majority of men do not understand what actually makes a guy attractive and overestimate their own attractiveness (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... they-think), not surprising if you are hetero but an important factor that more guys should definitely be aware of before they ask themselves why they are not getting any dates